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**johnnyh** · February 4, 2009, 06:59 AM

AF Daily - February 4, 2009

Hey DG.

Very well put!!! Put the other people drinking it into a totally different perspective.

Still have to do my tax 2008 return. ag well, still got a couple of days (literally).

Hope you all have a great day

**Marshy** · February 4, 2009, 07:32 AM

AF Daily - February 4, 2009

Hello all,

Quick check in from me. I'm visiting my parents and their computer is slower than pigeon post and keeps crashing. There's a big gathering of the clan tonight and I'm on booze duty! Haha. I've had to check supplies in the outhouse (yup, they have a whole outhouse full of booze) this morning to make sure there's enough stuff chilling that should be chilled, enough spirits etc etc. I've smuggled in a couple of AF wines and cherryade for me!

Hope you're all doing well!

**A Work in Progress** · February 4, 2009, 08:22 AM

AF Daily - February 4, 2009

Good morning everyone! I am sitting at home having breakfast with my kitties and doggies around me. It's very nice to be in my actual home, where I have my actual bed (in the Florida house I have an inflatable mattress on the floor), and rugs on the floor, pictures on the wall, and furniture! Det, thanks, you are right, I am happy to be home... This going back and forth is a major drain, emotionally, physically, and financially. I took a look at the car rental bill... God, the "hidden" extra charges they stick onto the quoted prices are outrageous...

Marshy, good for you, being so strong and determined in the midst of this gigantic amount of alcohol and alcohol consumption! My mother used to push alcohol on me... persistently... for years, I wavered between being strong, and caving in. My mother was very convincing in communicating that the only thing in life she enjoyed was having "a drink" in the evening with me... A very unhappy woman, she was and is, and it drove me nuts. I am so glad all that is over, for me. How do you cope with the messages you get from your family? Is there still a "pull" for you, a feeling that you ought to be drinking with them?

Hi JH, DG... DG you know that I totally agree and it is such a massive relief to stop thinking about alcohol as a nifty prize that some people "get to have," while we poor defective ones are forced out in the cold. What a crock. We can see it in ALL the liquor advertising, everything that portrays alcohol as the gateway to happiness, youth, beauty, great bodies, great sex, good friendship.... And is there anyone who is totally immune to the manipulation that we are subjected to by advertising? No. We really have to work on freeing ourselves from the distortion that gets shoved down our throats...

OK, I hope everyone has a good day...

**charlee** · February 4, 2009, 08:27 AM

AF Daily - February 4, 2009

Morning everyone

DG, Couldn’t agree more…normal people get to drink, I have to drink. I am addicted to alcohol, and if I can’t drink “my way”, which I can’t…..I choose not to drink at all.
I just apply my sucks for me rule, but it is what it is. That all important choice does get easier with time and I do not envy those that can indulge.…I will always be an addict, always on guard, and probably always long for those “ah” moments. I have to be ok with that and I am….Things could be so much worse.

I need to get my 2008 tax stuff together today, at least it is all in one big envelope, so I just have to sort through, make an appointment with the accountant, and then get to check another thing off of that to do list…gotta make it a positive!!

**lilmea** · February 4, 2009, 08:27 AM

AF Daily - February 4, 2009

DG-love the snowman. It's actually been warm enough here for some of our snow to melt.

Johnnyh-I guess I don't really know anyone who like's to pay taxes. I guess I sort of put it in the same catagorie with root canal.

Marshy-booze duty. I don't think I could do that yet. Right now I'm still keeping AL out of the house. Not sure I'll ever let it back in. But I see you're taking advantage by bring in some AF wine for yourself.

Hope everyone has a good day.

**lilmea** · February 4, 2009, 08:28 AM

AF Daily - February 4, 2009

hi charee and wip-cross post!

**retteacher** · February 4, 2009, 08:53 AM

AF Daily - February 4, 2009

Hi Everyone:

Yes, I'm in the "have to drink" catagory. There is no 1 or 2 for me. I can't even attempt that. If the lapses I've had taught me anything, they've taught me that I go hog-wild as soon as AL touches my lips.

I was thinking about the grieving process the other day, because Charlee always said that stopping drinking was like leaving a good friend behind. That process ties into what you, DG, are saying about feeling angry & deprived. I don't know all of the stages of grief, but I was thinking about a few:
-Denial - "I can have just one. I'm not a real alcoholic."
-Bargaining - "If I drink tonight, I'll get right back on the wagon tomorrow."
-Anger - "Everyone else can drink, so why can't I? Wah!"
-and finally Acceptance - "Drinking AL is just something I'll never be able to do."

I know there are some other stages, but I can't think of what they are, but the ones above apply to leaving the life AL has wrought. I've been through the anger & bargaining phase many times. The grieving process is not linear, so we can revert at any time. I think that's why I remain on guard.

Take care one & all. I'll check back later.

Mary

**A Work in Progress** · February 4, 2009, 08:59 AM

AF Daily - February 4, 2009

That's a nice post, Mary. Very accurate, I think. Probably most of us have been through all of that, at various times... the trick, I believe, is to recognize that the thinking that goes along with it (when we are struggling, and not in "acceptance" mode) is just part of what the mind does when it is busy resisting change. It cranks out all kinds of rationalization and crazy thoughts and ideas. Having these various thoughts does NOT mean it is a good idea to act on them...

**charlee** · February 4, 2009, 09:20 AM

AF Daily - February 4, 2009

Hi Johnny, Lilmea, Mary and WIP

Nice post Mary...Yeppers have been through all the emotions (oh that bargaining one!!) over and over, year after year....It always ended up the same. I knew I had to change my thinking...as sad as saying good bye was going to be I knew that if this time was going to be different, once I was through the physical stuff, it was all going to be in my head...I always did resist change (still don't like it), but WIP is so right...I would create all kinds of crazy thoughts that just ended up with me making bargains with myself.....
I went into this kicking and screaming, but also determined and committed. AL is not my friend...

**LVT25** · February 4, 2009, 09:49 AM

AF Daily - February 4, 2009

Good morning friends--

I wrote a nice little post earlier, but it seems to have disappeared. In summary:

ALCOHOL IS OVER-RATED!

When I see people drinking now, I do not envy them, I think about how crappy they are going to feel the next day!!

Have a good one! :h

**Marshy** · February 4, 2009, 09:56 AM

AF Daily - February 4, 2009

A Work in Progress;537638 wrote: Is there still a "pull" for you, a feeling that you ought to be drinking with them?

Oh yes! It's still very much there. NOT helped by having to organise all the booze this morning and go out and buy some more sherry (my nemesis!) which is now readily available in a decanter - used to help myself to it all day long.

Spent 20 minutes cranking up the computer so I could e-mail my best friend about it, so feeling a bit less antsy now. Could do with going out for a walk or something but I'm lined up to peel vegetables later. Hey ho. It's only one day I gotta stay sober, right?

**retteacher** · February 4, 2009, 09:57 AM

AF Daily - February 4, 2009

LVT: You are so right. The last time we had guests over, the normal drinkers drank a little more than usual. They left our house looking droopy & tired. I knew in my heart that they'd have a hangover the next day. The difference between them & me is that I would have drunk more the next day to lift the hangover, and then the next day, & the next, ad infinitum. Not a pretty picture. With normal drinkers, if they drink a little extra, they don't back to it the next day, expecting the outcome to be different.

Mary

**A Work in Progress** · February 4, 2009, 09:57 AM

AF Daily - February 4, 2009

Be strong Marshy! Pretend that we are all standing right there beside you, drinking iced tea... or whatever that stuff is that you bought for yourself!

**Marshy** · February 4, 2009, 10:01 AM

AF Daily - February 4, 2009

A Work in Progress;537708 wrote: Be strong Marshy! Pretend that we are all standing right there beside you, drinking iced tea... or whatever that stuff is that you bought for yourself!

Cheers Wip! Iced tea? Ewww. Cherryade rocks!
Gotta go and help out...

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