I have just finished reading thru the my story's of today...and I am so compelled to toss mine into the pot.
I am sitting here with two slashed wrists from last Sunday's binge and flight into destitution again. I have NEVER been unable to handle my life, as I now am. I went on a huge binge and ended up in the hospital, suicide attempt, and subsequently lost my job. My "friend" co-worker felt it necessary to blab all over town what had happened, so unlikely I will ever work here again, as this is such a small town. I am a paralegal, and had a great paying job that I will NEVER be able to replace. Although, I have to admit, the stress of that place was awful, and it has been a relief knowing I won't be going back there.
However, now I am faced with a whole new set of worries, no job, no insurance, no money.....when will it end. This past year my dad died, both my daughters moved away (in very good circumstances...one married...one college) and I miss them more than I EVER thought. I had to give up my house and moved down the road from my mom since she needed me after my dad died. It has been so hard and ....well...just bleak. On top of that, I have been stalked by this freak ex boyfriend for over a year and am very afraid of him. Of course, I went the restraining order and all that, but as we all know, it's only as good as the paper it's written on...now I live way out in the country and am very nervous all the time.
I have watched this site for some time, and only wish had as much hope and good will as the rest of you do. I did read the book, and am waiting to get some sort of state medical so I can get some medication, which I am sure I need. When I do, I am going to BEG to get the topa and am praying that it will help quit or moderate this freakish life I have now invented for myself. I know I sound sooo pathetic, but thanks for offering me this opportunity to spill it all. It is somewhat validating to know...I am not the only one with huge issues, huge drinking problems, and not a lot of lite at the end of the tunnel.
I am sitting here with two slashed wrists from last Sunday's binge and flight into destitution again. I have NEVER been unable to handle my life, as I now am. I went on a huge binge and ended up in the hospital, suicide attempt, and subsequently lost my job. My "friend" co-worker felt it necessary to blab all over town what had happened, so unlikely I will ever work here again, as this is such a small town. I am a paralegal, and had a great paying job that I will NEVER be able to replace. Although, I have to admit, the stress of that place was awful, and it has been a relief knowing I won't be going back there.
However, now I am faced with a whole new set of worries, no job, no insurance, no money.....when will it end. This past year my dad died, both my daughters moved away (in very good circumstances...one married...one college) and I miss them more than I EVER thought. I had to give up my house and moved down the road from my mom since she needed me after my dad died. It has been so hard and ....well...just bleak. On top of that, I have been stalked by this freak ex boyfriend for over a year and am very afraid of him. Of course, I went the restraining order and all that, but as we all know, it's only as good as the paper it's written on...now I live way out in the country and am very nervous all the time.
I have watched this site for some time, and only wish had as much hope and good will as the rest of you do. I did read the book, and am waiting to get some sort of state medical so I can get some medication, which I am sure I need. When I do, I am going to BEG to get the topa and am praying that it will help quit or moderate this freakish life I have now invented for myself. I know I sound sooo pathetic, but thanks for offering me this opportunity to spill it all. It is somewhat validating to know...I am not the only one with huge issues, huge drinking problems, and not a lot of lite at the end of the tunnel.
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