In a nutshell...

[Serendipity]

I believe I am a problem drinker. For the last year (since I got divorced), I consistently buy a bottle of wine (or the occassional 6 pack of beer) on my way home every night and end my evening with drinking it all and then finally falling asleep on my couch. I can't seem to moderate it by only drinking a glass or two. If I open the bottle, I will drink it all. If I go to a party where a lot of alcohol is available, I will drink enough that I usually have black outs about the end of the evening. The longest I've gone in the last year without alcohol, is 8 days. Only one friend knows about this. Since I live alone, it's easy to hide. I've missed work & school due to hangovers but for the most part, I think I'm fairly high functioning. Some weeks are worse than others. This week for example, I'm completely unmotivated to clean, do laundry, study, etc. I still manage to get to school and work, but my apartment is now officially disgusting. I get home and if I don't have a bottle of wine (which is rare), I just sleep. If I do have a bottle, I drink it while watching a movie and then sleep. I don't need alcohol to feel normal, but I do like how it makes me feel. I don't like how completely unmotivated it makes me.

Well, I guess that's the gist of it.

[YoungAtHeart]

In a nutshell...

Hi Serendipity!

Divorce is hard! I sure know that. I started hitting the bottle pretty heavy before my divorce when my marriage started going south back in 1990. I drank through my divorce in 1995 and up until I found MWO in December 2005. I can really understand how you feel. I'll bet that some of the problem is drinking and some of the problem is depression and anger for you. At any rate, I'm glad that you have found MWO. I hope you will buy the book and look into the program. That way you can stop this problem now, instead of having it go on for 15 years the way it has for me!! Good luck and welcome. I'm glad that you posted your story. I hope that you find the caring, support and the hope that you need here!

:w
Kathy

[mountainmama]

In a nutshell...

Hi Serendipity~

I'm intrigued by you, because you joined right before I did, and when I tried to register my name as Serindipity, it was taken. I know that you know what it means, and that is why we are here...It's Serendiipity, right?

My thing is beer. My youngest son is 19 months old, and I think I picked my Coors Light up again when he was only, like, 4 months old. That is part of what got me to post here, when RJ, in her book stated that she knew how harmfull the books say it could be to nurse a baby while drinking, but did it anyway. I nursed him, while drinking, and feel absoutlely horrible about that. I now stay home with my boys, after realizing that my high stress/corporate job was adding to this misery. I've been trying to do a good job with the house, the kids, ect, but lately it's just not going so great. I literally feel fatigued just by looking at the sink of dishes, or all the laundry. I've recently enrolled back in school, not starting till Oct, but I have no clue how I will live up to my responsibilities if I don't get a handle on this numbness that I've gotten so used to for the past 10 years.

I totally agree with you that it just drains us.
Love your name, Serendipity!!! When I saw it was taken, I considered "Soberendipity" but that'sjust not quite the right fit for me yet.

Hope you are doing ok!!! Happy to talk anytime (I'm always here...)

Krystal

[gateway]

In a nutshell...

WOW: where to start
I STARTED boozing when i was l5. i am now 54. ugh. i can consume l-2 bottles of vino a nite. my best friend heard RJ on a talk radio show in minnesota and told me about MWO in June I joined in July - got everything i needed and guess what I FOOLED AROUND AND FELL IN LOVE (with MWO that is). I am currently on 150mg of topa (that in itself has been a b.....ch to get my hands on) and that reallllly works for me. all the supps are great. i can now enjoy l-2 glasses of vino a nite instead of l-2 bottles. I do not need to sneak (which i absolutely hated doing). The folks at MWO are so nice to chat with and very informative (esp. CV1)
I am now spending WAY TO much time on this WEB site - but I really enjoy listening to everyone on here.
i am not quite sure when these things get posted but today is Aug 9 2006. my name is luci

[elfie]

In a nutshell...

Hi All!

I am also 54 Gateway, and have been drinking most of my life. I recently slashed my wrists in a drunken binge. which I really don't remember much of. Just waking up on the floor with blood all over my kitchen. I managed to grab my cell phone and just started going down my list of contacts looking for someone who would answer. My co-worker (my friend I thought) did answer and came over to my house and then called 911. I got quite a few stitches in my wrist but checked myself out the next day anyway, after being "reviewed" by a state psychiatric worker. Well, unfortunately, my "friend" found it necessary to blab all over town what I had done, and subsequently I lost my job. This is a very small community, so needless to say, I was just humiliated beyond belief. At any rate, I was contacted by the hospital behavioral health people and practically bullied into going in for counseling. I am SO GLAD I DID. I have been put on Lexapro and have been taking it for a few days now. I had a wonderful and caring psychiatrist and she even went into her "drug store" and found some TOPA for me. She was very impressed that I knew so much about it, had gathered all the things together and was ready to start the program, in spite of everything else going on in my life. She gave all the meds to me free, and put me on a list to receive free medications, including the Topa. I told her about the web site here, and all that I have learned here. She will be passing that information on to others that she feels may benefit from it. So, I guess something good actually came out of this nightmare for me. I hope I can repay all the kindness in the future. This is probably the first time in soooo many years....I actually have hope for the future.

[andymark]

In a nutshell...

Hi Serendipity

Hope all is going well with you. I'm new here and haven't even started taking the topa. Your symtoms are very similar to mine and you last comment I can really relate to:

"I don't need alcohol to feel normal, but I do like how it makes me feel. I don't like how completely unmotivated it makes me".

My prime reason for moderating my intake is to stop losing so much time to booze induced sleep and to hopefully find some more drive to succeed. Now you're month in how is it going for you??

Good luck
Andy

[cpn1004]

In a nutshell...

Wow! I am 54 too. I started with beer in high school around age 14 or 15. I have been drinking about 7 to 10 beers a night. So far this month I have stopped that habit. I am not doing Topa but am on all the supplements and lots of water. My trigger is boredom... I work at home or am on the road, so I have lots of time alone. I am working on dealing with all that. MWO does help. So hang in there with us all.
phil