View Full Version : To Long-term Moderators

February 28th, 2009, 08:31 AM
Hi everyone,
Some of you know me, and some of you don't obviously. I was here a little while back and posted on this forum. I had started with such great success, then experienced a set-back. I believe my setback now was due to a depression which pretty much has taken over me at that time of the year for many years - End of November-January. I'd taken myself from the long-term modders in an attempt to go AF again. I wasn't satisfied with my AF life. Although being AF most of the time is my goal, I'd like to be able to have a few glasses of wine at functions here or there. My stretches of AF have been become more habitual than not in the last several months and I love how healthy I feel. I'd like to come and join the long-term modders once again to give and receive support from you all. Is there an initiation into the group since I'd left before? I'll do whatever it takes! Thanks for listening.

Kid Shelleen
February 28th, 2009, 09:03 AM
What fun!!!

Everyone voted for ME to come up with the initiation...
Now let's see what would be totally humiliating,
but still FUN??? :H

No; just kidding j-vo. You're in...
Of course, if you have anything in common with J-LO,
you could posts pics!!!
(I'm so funny this morning!)

February 28th, 2009, 09:08 AM
Hi J-Vo,
It is great to see you back! No initiation, just some questions to think about:
What are your drinking triggers, and how you have learned to deal with them without alcohol?
What AF strategies work best for you?
What new strategies did you learn from your recent AF time?
What are your current goals?
What reasons are now acceptable for your drinking?

These are not questions you probably want to answer here, but just food for your thoughts.

OOPS! I also intended to say that Kid would probably come up with your initiation rites.

February 28th, 2009, 09:20 AM
Thanks Kid and Sun. Actually, Kid, J-lo is how I got my name. A coworker calls me that. My first and last name jv, and she started calling me j-vo! I'm sorry to report, I don't sing or look like J-lo. But I do have a smaller butt! Just kidding.

And Sun, I'll do my homework on those questions. You've gotta give me a little time as I've been a little lax in the brain department since I've been off work! But these are great questions to ponder. Thanks.

Delta Moon
February 28th, 2009, 09:47 AM
Hi j-vo we're glad you're back and I have thought of you often. The mod life is a good life!

February 28th, 2009, 09:54 AM
Thanks Delta. I appreciate that. I look foward to talking with you.

February 28th, 2009, 10:13 AM
Hi again J-Vo,
In order to drink moderately, you have to think about your drinking. Thinking about drinking sometimes makes people drink more. That's why abstaining is easier. I'm not trying to discourage you at all, but I just needed to add another 2 cents when I saw the opportunity.

February 28th, 2009, 10:26 AM
Hi Sun, I'm going to try and tackle my first homework assignment! I'm a teacher, you know, and a perfectionist, so I always need to get an A+. Oops, part of my trigger is being that way. I need to shoot for just a B. Your questions are as follows:

What are your drinking triggers, and how you have learned to deal with them without alcohol?

Answer: My drinking triggers vary of course. I'm an extremely complex individual! When I was down and depressed, I'd want to go to the bottle. I've been practicing abstinence, and one of my rules is not to drink for an escape of emotional problems, but only for enjoyment purposes. I'd say depression was the biggest trigger for me coupled with anxiety. I've got high anxiety. I've been working on a program to help me with this anxiety and seeing a therapist. I've felt great lately. Of course stress triggers it as well. I need to deal with stress more effectively. I'm on my way!

What AF strategies work best for you?

Being AF most of the time, having long stretches of AF time works best for me. I haven't had a drink in 15 days, and quite honestly, I've gotten into a habit of not drinking most of the time. I think the more AF time, the better.

What new strategies did you learn from your recent AF time?

My strategies are to be AF for long periods of time. I think I'm repeating myself. Sorry. Don't drink if depressed - exercise and find other distractions, like shopping for something new for myself.

What are your current goals?

Again, to be AF for long stretches. No more than two drinks at a nice dinner out (doesn't happen often), no drinks at home, only special occasions, and take kudzu in the morning and afternoon if the opportunity arrises for a night out. I'll review my mod goals and tweak. I've got a journal as well. I'm going to use drink tracker again to be accountable.

What reasons are now acceptable for your drinking?

I'm not depressed, so most of my binges occured when I was feeling very low. I've been AF and feel great, and I want to continue that feeling - I feel incredible.

Thanks Sun, for having me revisit these issues.

February 28th, 2009, 10:41 AM
And another important thing to sticking to my goals:

Commitment to MWO and the people here. To encourage, and be encouraged, to support, feel the support.

February 28th, 2009, 10:58 AM
Welcome Back J-Vo! You are always welcome here whether you are AF or Mod. I know how much you want this and I'm happy you've come back to where you are supported 100%.
Love and Hugs.

February 28th, 2009, 12:22 PM
Thanks Deebs. You're such a sweet girl. Now I'm gonna need tips for quitting the smokes! Monday is my quit date. HELP!

February 28th, 2009, 12:27 PM
Hey J-Vo, my old friend

just saw this great video of JC and the Great Master Richard Pryor, and was going to share, and now that I have logged in, seems like this is the perfect place to share it.

Humour and seriousness. It's a good combo.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sI3SkxxQmQ4&feature=related[/video]]YouTube - Carson Show- Richard Pryor (http://[video=youtube_share;sI3SkxxQmQ4)

Ask For Help
February 28th, 2009, 01:05 PM
Hey J-vo

Glad to see you back!


February 28th, 2009, 04:07 PM
Great answers! Your grade is A+!

Limiting my drinking to special occasions has really worked for me. I feel like I have my life back. Most days, I don't think about alcohol: what freedom!!! I did allow myself multiple drinks in a week last week (I was on vacation), and Christmas week through New Years'. I had no problem wanting to drink more those weeks, no risk of falling back on old habits. On the other hand, last summer I did fall back on some of my old habits, drinking mostly just on Wednesday evening and every weekend. I didn't like it, I felt much better during my AF time. I wondered a lot if I should just stay AF. But then in September/October I worked my way down to my current schedule of occasional drinks. Presto, this is the right balance for me.

March 1st, 2009, 06:19 PM
That was a great video, Zed. Thanks for sharing. He was such a great comedian!

Sunbeam - I told you I'm trying to stay away from A+'s! Gosh, though, every damn paper I write, test I take, I just can't seem to screw up! LOL! I would like my modding to go in your very direction. AF most of the time. Not every weekend. I don't want to fall into an "alcohol schedule" if you will. Special occasions to me will not be every Friday night or Sat. night. That's too dangerous of a road to go down. I know the tricky part will be the moderate intake on those special occasions in which I must be
super vigilant.

March 1st, 2009, 07:58 PM
Hey J-Vo sis,
Glad to see you posting here again.
I still struggle too J-Vo. I don't have it down like Sunbeam. I still look forward to and relish my Fridays and Saturdays when I can drink and most times I drink both nights. Rare to have a week-end night when I don't. So, I'm not overly pleased with that but as long as I can keep it to 2 and only 3 if it were a special thing with drinks really spaced apart. But, since I've started this process I haven't met those goals 100% either.
The question I have for Kid especially since he seems to have his ONE down pretty well or no more than TWO. Aren't there ever times (please answer anyone) that once you've started you still don't want to quit? I'm talking having a huge craving once you've started and you JUST don't want to quit.
I have gone out and done the 1 or 2 drink with dinner thing. Most nights I'm fine. But there still have been occasions where we come home and I'm absolutely DYING for a 3rd. Sometimes I've done the kudzu and have gotten beyond it. Sometimes eating something (like a low fat icecream) or a drink with cranberry and seltzer will cure it. But then there have been those few times still where I go for the 3rd and 4th because I just don't want to quit!! The vampire has tasted blood and wants more...more...more.
So, even though it's nice to read about the folks who seem to be really modding well, J-Vo twin- I remain there with you. Still struggling too.
p.s. Zed-the video was awesome!! Thanks. Sure many of us here can relate to Richards struggles at the bar when the other social drinkers were quitting at one or two.

March 1st, 2009, 08:33 PM
We'll figure this out Eve, eventually. I'm becoming more confident in that. But speaking of the vampire, I f-ed up last night. I went to my aunt's 60th birthday celebration. I did my nails, bought a new outfit, and since losing 8 lbs. was feeling on top of the world. Oh, I'd also had my hair done this week, so I was looking fine! Anyway, I took three kudzu early in the day, then three prior to the party. Everyone at the party was drinking wine. Lots and lots of wine. I let my guard down. And I'm upset that my drinks kept coming. If I'd have kept the drink limit on the top of my priority list, I think I could have had a much better time. I drank water in between each glass of wine. I had I think 5 but it could have been 6 glasses. Whatever it was, my last glass hit me like a mack truck. All of a sudden I was so drunk. I haven't drunk in the last two weeks, and I don't know if that was why it hit me so hard. Most of the company was gone when this hit me, but I still looked drunk in front of my cousins whom I rarely see. I was so disappointed in myself. But like I said, I blew off the commitment to my drink limit. It wasn't the most important thing to me and it kicked me in the ass. Well, I can say, I will be more vigilant next time. I'll remember this, because I don't want it to happen again. I need to remember I have a problem with AL, and if I'm not going to stop at my limit, then I'm not going to allow myself any. So I screwed up royally. I know why I screwed up. Didn't keep the most important thing at the top of my list. Commitment.

March 2nd, 2009, 09:51 AM
Eve11;560585 wrote: The question I have for Kid especially since he seems to have his ONE down pretty well or no more than TWO. Aren't there ever times (please answer anyone) that once you've started you still don't want to quit? I'm talking having a huge craving once you've started and you JUST don't want to quit.

I would've shook my head if I'd read this before the weekend. Yesterday I had 2 glasses of wine -- no special occassion, just relaxing with hubby and playing backgammon. The thing is I spent quite a long time "thinking" about pouring the 3rd glass and it was only because I would've had to open another bottle of wine that I didn't. I ate a slab of chocolate, had a bowl of ice cream and a couple of biscuits to help me get over the craving. I woke up in the middle of the night feeling nauseous (sp?) and drenched!!

So, to answer you question Eve, YES!! And I didn't like the feeling at all!!

March 2nd, 2009, 10:15 AM
This is why I call you my twin. Go to the "Should I mod or abstain?" thread posted by Kid and you'll see your twin there who also got hit by the mack truck!
As I observe myself I know that more than two are too many for me with the exception if the 3rd that day had been spaced very far apart from the other two, e.g. 2 with dinner and a nightcap 2 hours later. Then I can handle 3 and be o.k. but 3 in one setting is just TOO much for me!
Hang in there buddy...you're not alone!

March 2nd, 2009, 12:03 PM
It's good to know I'm not alone.

March 2nd, 2009, 12:19 PM
Hi ...this is a message for you two Evie11 and J-Vo

Just that the stuff you are discussing resonates so much with me...would like to explore it more with you two if you are happy to? I am very new to this site, 9 days (all AF) but from what I read you are similar to me (or how I will probably be at the end of the AF period.....

Love Moo

March 2nd, 2009, 12:29 PM
Welcome. Eve and I have had so many similar characteristics, so she is my twin, but it maybe that we're triplets instead! Yes, hang out with us and we'll explore these things together. I've just returned to the Weekly Mod thread you'll see, and come in and join us there. There are great people there that have similar goals, albeit tailored to their needs and themselves.