Aug 21

[InnerStrength]

Good morning everyone - I know, I know it's Monday. But I thought I would say hello to everyone. I have been quiet so I thought I would start this thread - hope no one minds!
Mary - Thoughts are again with you this morning, my dear - I am praying for you and your family. BIG HUG to you!!!:l
Jude - hope you're having a better day today, though I have to admit your work story gave me a chuckle....
Trish - hope you're having less hectic days lately that you had a great weekend. Hope this week is good too...
RYL - you said you got your baclofen right? How is it working for you or is it too soon to tell???
Laura - hope you are "swimming" strongly today....
Mary Anne - are you finding your sleeping improving? I have been having some issues with that but I find that bringing a good book to bed (and the calms forte) tends to help me......and a warm bath
Soccer mom Mary - how are you doing lately??? Hope you had a great weekend also!!!
Anni - Haven't seen you post in a couple of days but hope you are doing great as well!!
And if I missed anyone, deepest apologies.....
As for me, had an interesting weekend. On Friday, the Toronto police found a pet store that had been abandoned for 4 days. There were 133 animals that needed homes - they had just been left there - dehydrated, no food, flies buzzing around, they were completely distraught and upset (obviously). There were cats, dogs, birds etc. So the Toronto Humane Society held an "Adopt-A-Thon" where they waived their adoption fees and invited the public to come and see the animals and adopt them.
Well.....let's just say I came home yesterday with a kitten.
She is adorable and she has such an interesting personality - shy but really needy at the same time. Within an hour of being home with me, she came right up and curled up under my chin and fell asleep. She is very loving. But she sleeps sitting up! It is so strange!! It's nice to have her around because my hubby travels alot so I think that might curb the loneliness.
It's really hard when he is away so often....I think the boredom/loneliness really plays a major role in my urge to go out and drink.
I spent a lot of time downtown this weekend. Didnt go overboard. It's nice - I am now the one who is in control. And when I see other people get extremely inebriated, I think "was I like that?" - of course, I already know the answer....I am dosing up my topa to 150 mg today. I am looking forward to seeing how things are at 150 mg because I still find that I enjoy the wine a little too much for my liking ....
Anyhoo, I will stop rambling....just thought I would check in and see how everyone is doing and leave a note from lil' ol me....

Love and hugs to all....

[InnerStrength]

Aug 21

Hi RYL (Rachele) - Actually. I just saw your journal you are posting about your experience on Baclofen (under the midications thread) - sounds like you are having some side effects (which is normal) but that it is working....what a great idea!!! Keep up the good work and keep us updated. FYI - I'm sure any new medication of this type takes your body some time to adjust....just be careful not to titrate up too quickly..... Example - - I am taking topa and I find it makes me feel tired and dopey and that I have a weird taste in my mouth. The taste is kind of hard to explain - a little metallic perhaps? - the side effects are not terrible or anything - i think its just something your body has to adjust to.
Hugs Jen

[MKR]

Aug 21

HI all you lovely mods,

It has been quiet over here in modsville! I have missed you terribly over the weekend.
My note from the Universe. I think it may be easier said than done. Sure worth a try though!
__________________________________________________ ______________

All you ever have to do, to change absolutely everything, is think differently.

But this you have to do.

Love you like crazy,
The Universe
__________________________________________________ ______________

Jen, Judie, Soccermom Mary, Trish, Laura, Mary Anne, Anni and Rachele thanks so much for all your support. I have really needed this as I am having to shore myself up to offer nonstop support to my parents. Love you guys!!!

I see a common thread of hitting that wall after a few weeks, couple months. I think Laura was right on when she said, the "honeymoon stage of sobriety" is over.
Yeah, you rethink your life, you love waking up feeling good in the morning and yet . . . there is a void there also. so you go back and try to over drink again and just know you don't have to, don't want to but are sort of driven to fill that void and see if it was really "that" bad for you personally. A slippery slope and the times that the CDs and this board helps completely. At that point I ran away from the boards a bit because I didn't want to be here and say well, I blew it or count my drinks exactly as they should be counted. . . . one of Becca's gems. . . if it is a two shot drink, it is 2 drinks . . . so I had to get real.

It is worth it though. If I go to have a drink now, I really have to question if I really want it or just want to stay AF for the day. I haven't listened to the CDs for awhile now, I can go to that place on my own now, I didn't get to exercise at all since last Wednesday, I even have forgotten some of my supps this past week but . . . I have thought about you wonderful ladies a LOT! So you help keep me sane and I thank God all of you are here!

Still on the fence with my dad, he has not had surgery yet and I pushed my weight around the other day asking for any and all non invasive tests that can be run to make sure he does not have pancreatic cancer. They ran those tests this morning. My cross country trucker brother arrived this morning, so he can take some of the slack and I feel great about that, he is such a card, he keeps us laughing.

OK, I was AF on Friday, 1 drink on Saturday and AF yesterday. It is actually easier to stay AF with all this going on as I am gone all evening and too tired to stay up and drink at night. (Not that I recommend this method of AF!)

Now, I must get my act together and design a website template for a medical site and a techy guy this morning. Just need to concentrate.

My love to all of you wonderful ladies and safe trips to Vegas! WAHOOO!
Mary

PS: Judie, loved the potato story! - should a asked her if she needed a new denture to chomp away! Guess that would have been too mean. I have been out with friends that embarass the hell outta me by being so demanding and rude to the wait staff. WHY?!!

[Bookish]

Aug 21

Hi all,
I have the mommy angst today, 1st day of school and all that. Mixed feelings this year, for one I feel like I am in a much better place in my life to deal with the day to day stuff, but worried too. My oldest has learning and speech disabilities and this is the 1st year he is starting school that he is in all the right programs and everyone, ie: his teachers, schools staff, have told me the schedules are set and everything is ready to go and I'm not the one telling them we need to do something. Which is great and he is at a great school, but still I worry, can't help it. Ok, got to put the angst away, he is fine. I mean, he put his stuff by his desk, met his teacher and ran out to the yard to play. Now the other one, I told him he needs to not talk so much and when the teacher says to be quiet, that means, be Quiet. He is really talky, kind of like me.

Jen,
Kitty sounds sweet. I love cats, my little prince passed on after a long life of 14 years back in May. I would have been at the Adopt a Thon too. For now, my boys and I will get 1 or 2 from the local shelter when I am ready. Oh, what is her name?

Laura

[MKR]

Aug 21

Hey Laura,

Oh, the school angst. You have every right to feel it! Good for you getting him into the right school with all the right programs! In time you know you will be able to relax but every year, first day of school no matter how old they are brings a little bit of angst with it. when they are little it can tear you apart.

He sounds like he did very well and was happy to run outside and play. I think this year will be bring you extreme joy watching him grow under the proper programs.

Oh, and your talker, geez tried to get mine to be quiet! He is now 3rd year medical student, and still a cut up. Heard it all his early school years. . . then had a high school English professor say to me, he will sit there really quiet where you wonder if he is even awake then out comes a poignant thought often funny on the subject we were discussing. Bet yours is really funny too!

On my dad: NO PANCREATIC CANCER!! WAAAAAAAAHHOOOOOOOOO! He will have to have surgery tomorrow for his blockage and they are giving him a different IV this afternoon because his vitals are not so hot and this will give him more nutrition for his body to work from. Hey, he has a chance with this!

So I won't be around tomorrow but will be thinking of you!

Hugs and Love,
Mary

PS: Jen - I just love kitties, mine is 13 now. Pretty creaky these days but I remember her jumping at me in the shelter.

[Quiescent]

Aug 21

Good Morning

Laura,

I had to laugh out loud when I read, "Now the other one, I told him he needs to not talk so much and when the teacher says to be quiet, that means, be Quiet"

I am also always trying sugar coat what I am really trying to say to my kids. I have three girls and I often think that if I am too harsh I will crush their self esteem and I will ruin them for adulthood.

Thank you for the encouragement. I had to back off my baclofen dose because I couldn't function being as tired as I was at 100mg. I will go up a little slower from here on out and hope that helps. If not, I am going to order the topimax. I am curious, can you give me more detail on what you mean by "dopey and tired?" This baclofen makes me cross eyed tired and a little slow with thoughts.

Jen,

I have two cats, salem and cinnamon. I have sworn to my husband that someday, he will come home and find me crippled on the floor because one of the cats has tripped me during one of their zig-zag moves while walking directly in my path.:durn:

I am interested to know how things go for you at 150mg of Topa.

Mary,

I signed up for the Universe and got my second thought for the day today. I love it!

I am glad to hear your Dad is doing okay, I will keep you in my thoughts and say a little prayer for you today:l


You talked about the "honeymoon stage of sobriety" I think I am still dating "sobriety" I hope to get engaged soon:heart:

I worked last night which is bad because I found out that my favorite "back up (bus girl)" is now my Monday night "second server". So I made crap for money last night, got off early and had my three glasses of free wine. I need to make a rule for myself about bellying up to the bar after my shift has ended.

The bar is very seductive. It calls me over, just ever so gently nudges at me to come sit down, to relax and unwind, to talk with interesting people about interesting things..........yea right, it's all lies!

Have a great day! I gotta get over and post about the baclofen.

Rachele

[soccermom]

Aug 21

Jen--I hear you loud and clear--I have been at 100mg topa for about a month and feel the need to up it--went to 125 yesterday and definatley noticed a difference last night in less craving. Rachele--I have titrated up very slowly on topa--and have noticed very little of this dopa side effect--to me, nothing is worse than a hangover and if I forget a word here or there or am a bit tired, that beats a hangover any time, so I'll take it, but like I said, it seems minimal to me, perhaps because I'm dosing up slowly.
Mkr--I'm thinking of you and so glad your dad diagnosis was not the horrid pancreatic cancer, I'm glad your brother is there with you...and also, isn't that the truth about the Universe quote: If ONLY I could think differently---And I'm thinking about those glasses of HABIT wine I feel I must pour for myself....one of the reasons, like you Jen, that I feel I need to up my topa dose...now that school has started and I'm back to work and, Rachele, you put the words just right--the wine just is so seductive at the end of an evening...
Laura--your kids will do great---as I'm also in tears every night with my little (big) girl that started intermediate school this year and she's cried every night for the past week because it's been such a hard transition from elementary. It's so hard sometimes!! Anyway, I'm late for school, so I'll check in with you wonderful ladies later this afternoon..oh, and congrats on the new kittie! She sounds so sweet.
Have an awesome Tuesday!!
sm-mary