I'm scared

[themare]

This is the first time I have actually admitted in a public format that I have a problem. By day I am sober and appear in control, by night I am drinking 10-12 beers before bed. I have trouble sleeping and relaxing...it has become my best friend and worst enemy. My husband does not judge me, but we both know I have a problem. I have been drinking this amout every day for 3 years, with exception to the day I admitted to my doctor that I thought I had a problem. His answer was a 3 day detox at a local treatment center. The day I went in I knew this was not for me, so I left went home and did not drink for 3 days to prove to my self that I could do it. That was in Feb. of this year and I have drank every day since then. Never to return to my doctor and face the shame.

This site makes me feel not so alone. It is so hard for someone who does not have this addiction to understand how hard it really is. I get up every day feeling so sad and disappointed with myself, I pray to God to PLEASE take this addiction away. Why can't I just be STRONG...I now know I am not alone. Please pray for me if you believe in God, if not, any encouraging words would be so appreicated.

I just found this website today and ordered the book..I am so scared of failure, but I know I must face this demon. I want to order the Topa, but am afraid of the side effects. I am on an SSRI (Lexapro) and am not sure how well they would work togeter.

Your thoughts and suggestions would be most appreciated. I wish all of you the strenght and courage to fight this battle for our lives.

[southernbelle47]

I'm scared

Hi Themare,

You are not alone. All of us have been where you are. There is hope.

I pray for you Peace , Strength, Courage and the tools you need to change your life. You will find all of these things in one way or another here.

This is the first time I've seen you post so don't know how much you've read . I do know all things work together and with hard work, faith and support here , you can suceed. I'm livin proof...

I've shared my heart openly on the abs board and on the what we believe board. Please join me there and lets get to work . It sure sounds like you're ready for a change!

Nancy & Belle:l

[spacie]

I'm scared

Hello Themare!!

You have found the right place just hang in there.

Scary, alone and out of control are terrible feelings, but you're certainly not alone now! This drinking game can turn into a horrible ride and feeling that you can't get off is a nightmare. It's hard not to beat yourself up for not being strong, but try not to be hard on yourself. I tell myself that I worked consistantly over 25 years to get addicted and it will take time and hard work to gain control. The MWO program will give you the tools but it's still a mind game so dig in.

I like reading the boards as it gives hope and understanding that you're not a failure, and we aren't alone we are one of many fighting for control. I started back in April and stayed booze free for 72 days. I have slipped on and off since but don't drink near the amount as before. I'm on all of the supplements but haven't taken the plunge on making an appointment with a doctor. That I feel will be coming soon as I do want more control over my drinking. There are lots of other posts to read on the medications;take your time and read them. You may face failure off and on, but that's okay because every day is a new day and taking the first step is what you have done today. Just keep getting back on the pony and ride.

Hope this is some comfort - you can do it!

Spacie

[gabby]

I'm scared

Hey mare....I sent ya a private message. gabby

[elfie]

I'm scared

Hey There Mare....

I just wanted to let you know that I am taking Lexapro also, together with Topa, which I got both from my Dr. It has been working out really really well for me. For the first time in many many years I am not thinking about my next drink, am sleeping like a normal person, and waking up without that "sense of weary guilt" that has been hanging over me for so long. Even though my thought was to just modify my drinking, I actually haven't even had a drink for over two weeks now, and it has honestly been truly painless...I also am listening to the CD's and taking the other supps as are in the book. I have really turned a corner in my life here, and hope you can do the same. Keep reading the boards, because I know it has helped me immensely. Good luck, and don't give up.

[Quiescent]

I'm scared

Hello TheMare,

I am Rachele, welcome to MWO. I believe in God and I wll say a prayer for you today. I was just looking at this verse last night and God wants us to know

"It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners" Mark 2:17

I've only been here at MWO for a short time and I have made friends. I've also made progress with my drinking. It's not perfect and I have not meet any goals yet. But by coming here, I have hope! If you keep reading and keep posting, I think you will find hope too :l

[Eliziby]

I'm scared

I am a Christian who made a wrong (or questionable) choice for a solution for my grief. Yes, I too was calling out to God, but when He didn't seem to come as quickly as I thought He should I turned to my wine glass for relief from grief. You can read My Story post "My Faith and MWO" on page 3 I think. I posted it the end of April, I think. My drinking progressed to 8, 9, sometimes 10 glasses of wine every eveining. Felt bad most next AM's. Never got out of touch with God. He never let me be comfortable with what I was doing to myself. I could never understand why, since I was a Christian, and that God is all powerful, with His power that is in me, couldn't I stop this horrible adiction. I would beg Him for strength. I would plead with Him for a meracle of healing as I had heard others describe. None of that would come for me. I am faithful to read from His word daily, and after reading, ( weather permiting) I go for what I call my prayer walk with God. I pray and walk. I need the exercise both physically & spiritually. One day in mid Apr., I was on my prayer walk feeling desperately in need of deliverance from my drinking. As on other occasions, I pleaded with Him for answeres to my problem. That day while wandering around the web, I stumbled across the MWO site. I haven't been the same since. We are all from different parts of the world and different walks of life but all having one commmon problem. DRINKING. I have come a long way, but am not where I want to be yet. I am pleased with my progress, but best of all I am so greatful for the support we get from this great group. Every one here understands because we have all been there. Get your materials and join us. You'll get the help you need right here. For more spiritual support go to the " What We Believe" board. Just don't give up. :welcome: