death in the family

[tumadre]

My mom called me and told me my cousin just died. He's 55. Our family spent every moment together growing up. His sister is mentally ill, and is alone in the house. She won't pick up the phone. We used to be like sisters, but she has retreated into her illness. My aunt is driving there to be with her, and will call me later tonight and let me know if I need to drive there. (8 hrs away), or what I can do. It's funny, but the 3 siblings from that family all ended up living together in the last 6 months, and it was good for all of them. Now, my cousin "the strong one of the family trio" is stuck in Texas working right now, and trying to get home.
How do I do this after only a few days AF. I'm crying non-stop, and I know i'll get through it, but how do I? I just re-joined mwo a few hours ago. I guess I needed to.

[choppersmom]

death in the family

Tumadre ~ I am so sorry for your loss! I can't imagine the pain you are feeling. It's ok to cry. Yes, you will get through it and we are all here to help you get through it. You made a huge step posting here about your loss. I am not very good with words, but I hope this helps you. I am here for you even though I don't know you. Here is a huge hug :l and my shoulder too.

[tumadre]

death in the family

Thank you, choppersmom. I just don't know how to do this sober. kl I feel like i'm having an anxiety attack.

[Winefree]

death in the family

Tumadre, sorry to hear about your loss as well. You will be in my prayers. It is ok to cry and let your feelings out. Stay strong and post when you need.

Winefree

[choppersmom]

death in the family

Tumadre ~ you can do this sober. I have panic attacks as well and I know that AL makes them worse. Deep breathe and keep posting. All of us here will support you. Have you been talking to your mom? Sometimes being on the phone can be a distraction. Again, I am so sorry!

[tumadre]

death in the family

Thank you all for your notes, private as well as here. (Greeneyes, your box is full, so I couldn't respond to your kind message). Chop-No, I'm not talking to my mom right now because I'm the "strong one" and I support her emotionally.
Husband's on his way home. I'm taking deep breaths. Going in & out of panicky mode. Don't really have panic attacks, but it sure feels panicky while it's happening.

[Rusty-576]

death in the family

So glad you were in chat tonight tum...please come back anytime hunwe are praying for you and your family

[Accountable for Me]

death in the family

I am soo sorry... ! It has been long time since we have seen you here. I wish you all the peace and happiness.

[AMELIA]

death in the family

Tumadre,
So sorry to hear about your cousin. It is sad that his sister is having such a tough time too.
Make sure you keep people around you so that you don't feel lonely as well as sad.
Welcome back. Use the boards to support you. You can do this without picking up the bottle.
Sending hugs to you and your family.
x

[DeeBee]

death in the family

Sending you positive vibes and strength to help you through this trying time.

[bloggy]

death in the family

Tumadre

I am so sorry for your sad loss.

Please try to stay away from the drink- I decided I needed to drink to be able to cope when my dad was dying- I still regret it dreadfully to this day that I was not present when other people needed me to be.

[savon19]

death in the family

Tumadre - losing someone you care about is very hard (I know from first-hand experience). However, when I lost my boyfriend (almost fiance?) last year, I stayed drunk for a week... And do you know what? It didn't help anything - probably made things worse. And only pushed the grief out further...

Good to let yourself cry. It's normal. If you really can't shake the anxiety - do you have Dr. who could prescribe something like Xanax? It helped me when I was going through it.

And Marbella made such a great point (and I'm sorry, Marbella...) - and reason to stay sober. People may need your support, even if it's just over the phone. You probably don't want to be slurring words... and not even remember what you said...

But - all that said - I certainly can't judge!! Please take care of yourself. Hot bath with calming music...?

[goingtofeelgreat]

death in the family

Sooo sorry for you loss. I have lost many in the past 7 years, my mom included. It's a pain that is very deep.

Stay strong. Your Aunt sounds like she may need you...

[Evie.Lou]

death in the family

My prayers are with you. i just lost my baby brother to cancer and it was really tough getting thru the whole mess and staying sober. i did it and I know you can do it too !!!
Stay strong and stay close to this site. We can help you get thru this moment by moment, day by day. It is SOOOOOOOOOO worth the work.

[savon19]

death in the family

Wow, Evie - I didn't know about your brother. Very sad - so sorry.

And you are so Strong! I am rather awestruck...