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    #1

    Ch-ch-ch-changes Thinking about drinking

    I realized I was drinking too much,
    So I decided to cut down,
    I now only drink on days ending in Y
    ~Unknown

    Hey gang,

    The topic this week is how has your thinking about drinking changed?

    Like RJ, I used to plan activities around drinking. Yes, like her I would talk the kids into a nicer restaurant for lunch rather than the more kid friendly place so I could have my glass of wine. Also trying to get together with a girlfriend for lunch (to catch up) always seemed to have that underling motive of a good excuse for a glass of wine in the afternoon. Now I find myself not choosing wine in the daytime ever as I don't want to get tired (makes me want to sleep if I drink it in the daytime) and the more and more I study about alcohol the less and less I want to drive...even after just one.

    Big events (like holidays) always meant too much to drink. No way could I EVER make midnight mass. Forget it, I'd be too drunk by then. And anytime a brunch was planned the mimosas flowed.

    The longer I've been modding the more interesting it's become that my life isn't focused on events where drinking is the center stage. Enjoyed a beautifu Mother's Dayl brunch today with fresh sqeezed o.j. only. Was so nice to focus and play games with the kids and guests and not be focusing on drinking and getting tipsy. As I think about it, I have to honestly say the drinking always took over at events and the kids eventually were back burner so that I could keep drinking and enjoy my adult drunken slurred conversation.
    Yuk!!

    How has your thinking changed?
    Hugs,
    Eve11
    "Control your destiny or somebody else will"

    ~Jack Welsh~:h

    God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:
    Tags: None
    #2
    Ch-ch-ch-changes Thinking about drinking

    I used to think that drinking was a good thing, that it made me happy. Now it is something I keep hanging around in my life but I don't think it's great. I wouuld rather not have anything to drink most of the time. The occasions when I do have it aren't that great. I am happiest on days I don't drink.
    My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

    Comment

      #3
      Ch-ch-ch-changes Thinking about drinking

      I used to get so excited if my daughter slept out for the weekend as it meant I could really let my hair down. I remember I'd get almost hyped up and quite anxious trying to plan just how big I was going to go and how I could rope DH into drinking with me. Now if she sleeps out I look forward to DH and I going somewhere nice, somewhere different for dinner, having a glass of wine and climbing into bed early with a good book.

      I am grateful that I've woken up and realised just how much of life I was missing out by spending my evenings staring into my wine glass.
      "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

      Comment

        #4
        Ch-ch-ch-changes Thinking about drinking

        Frankly, it the becoming AWARE of myself, by thinking (quite a lot actually) about drinking that has brought about all the changes I have seen. This is it in a nutshell from my point of view. For me, it has taken the "becoming fully aware" of my actions in this regard that has made me drink soooo much less often and soo much less when I do. Still further progress to make I am sure. So more thinking about drinking. I would say that being proactive in planning when I do and dont drink and being aware of what I will drink when I do might be said to be the key.

        I too have noted similar changes to those already mentionned. The activites planned are no longer planned around where a glass of wine can be obtained. So things like the cinema are more appealing. Or I am happy to drive more often if we go out, so we go further and to different places. It is all good.

        Love Moo
        "The greatest thing in the world is not so much where we are,
        but in what direction we are moving."

        Comment

          #5
          Ch-ch-ch-changes Thinking about drinking

          Gang,
          Do you think about drinking by coming here to the boards or do you think you do better when you stay away?

          I see successful modders on other sites here and wish they would come share their success on our long term mod board. Starting to think that once many modders feel success they stay away.

          As I said on Moo's recent thread - even A.A. encourages folks to at least come weekly. I just personally think it's too easy to get off track without support from the group.

          One hindrance may be as some members get to know each other well people feel they either don't fit in or feel they don't have the time to read everyone's stuff and respond politely to everyone. Let's not worry about that. Sometimes I'll read an original post and just reply to that without reading the other 10-20 people that have responded. I guess in the big scope of things it could look insensitive that I didn't say sorry to someone's personal crisis but in reality I may not have seen it. So...we always have to consider that in these posts...that sometimes people are just responding to the initial post that was started and piqued one's curiosity to want to respond immediately to just that one post.

          So, where have all the modders gone? Reminds me of the old Kingston Trio Song..."Where have all the flowers gone?"

          Ch-ch-changes...
          Eve11
          "Control your destiny or somebody else will"

          ~Jack Welsh~:h

          God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:

          Comment

            #6
            Ch-ch-ch-changes Thinking about drinking

            Hi Eve11!

            That's why I stayed away while I was getting used to my strict moderation plan---just writing and thinking about NOT drinking kept it too much in my thoughts, exactly where I didn't need it to be!

            Only this week have I dared to think, hmmmmm, maybe I'm "over it" and can return to the forums and try to encourage others. And if I slip someday (PLEASE NO!!!) I want a team behind me!

            I can't tell y'all how thrilled I am to be able to post here in "Longtime Moderators." I never deserved it before! God, life is better.
            Jane Jane

            Comment

              #7
              Ch-ch-ch-changes Thinking about drinking

              Jane Jane,
              Thanks for the reply. You will LOVE it here. Welcome to the Mod Squad!
              Eve11 et al
              "Control your destiny or somebody else will"

              ~Jack Welsh~:h

              God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:

              Comment

                #8
                Ch-ch-ch-changes Thinking about drinking

                Great to have you on board Jane Jane.

                Eve, I had a funny experience last night.
                I have been AF since last week and one of my golden rules is never to drink alone. Hubby has been away this week so drinking hasn't even entered my head. Hubby arrived home last night and the minute he poured himself a drink I started hunting for the wine bottle -- thank god I didn't have any because I don't know what got into me?

                I can only think that because he was home, I then felt it was acceptable to have a drink as I had company or it was seeing him pour himself a drink that triggered me? Either or, I am chuffed to wake up this morning with a clear head.

                As for your original question -- I have found from personal experience that if I distance myself from the boards then my drinking get's worse. I still NEED the daily support of you guys:-)
                "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

                Comment

                  #9
                  Ch-ch-ch-changes Thinking about drinking

                  Triggers

                  DeeBee;618777 wrote:

                  ... or was it seeing him pour himself a drink that triggered me?
                  DeeBee,

                  Interesting how we start to learn our triggers. I am so blessed that my spouse drinks very little because seeing him pour himself a drink would really be a trigger for me to want to drink.
                  He went for drinks with a friend over a week ago and normally that would be my trigger to drink too. Would have had a glass of wine with the friend's wife (do our thing when the guys do their thing) but since working my program I am doing so much better. Didn't want to meet her and drink (even one) and drive so drinking wasn't an option for me that night.
                  How far I've come.
                  It's the holiday week-end and our whole family is going to a fabulous resort so will be drinking but will be watching myself. Last year some friends started in the a.m. and were drinking throughout the evening! It was amazing to me to observe the tolerance for alcohol that they had. Over 4 and I'm a goner!
                  Will be definitely "thinking" about what I'm doing...that's for sure!
                  Happy Memorial week-end.
                  Eve11
                  "Control your destiny or somebody else will"

                  ~Jack Welsh~:h

                  God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Ch-ch-ch-changes Thinking about drinking

                    DeeBee;618777 wrote: Hubby arrived home last night and the minute he poured himself a drink I started hunting for the wine bottle -- thank god I didn't have any because I don't know what got into me?
                    I just had a weird experience like that, saw a guy drinking from a can of stella on the way home, and suddenly my single goal was to have a drink. There was nothing else in my brain, only that... until I realised I had no money.
                    Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He's the one who will keep you on track. Proverbs 3:6 The Message

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Ch-ch-ch-changes Thinking about drinking

                      It is wierd, that thing of seeing someone else drink, or seeing the drink available. My husband keeps wine in the basement refrigerator, and we also have a wine cooler. I never go down there anymore to get a bottle unless we are having some together with a meal. But if the wine is in the upstairs refrigerator, it is on my mind a lot more, much harder to leave alone.

                      BTW, my husband for the past several years kept the wine cooler locked so I would not go open yet another bottle. I recently discovered that the wine cooler is unlocked again - I have regained his trust!
                      My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Ch-ch-ch-changes Thinking about drinking

                        But seeing AL on the TV or in an advert has no effect on me what-so-ever.

                        P.S. Sun, I am so happy for you that you have regained hubby's trust again -- what a wonderful feeling!
                        "The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it"

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Ch-ch-ch-changes Thinking about drinking

                          Sunbeam;619581 wrote: BTW, my husband for the past several years kept the wine cooler locked so I would not go open yet another bottle. I recently discovered that the wine cooler is unlocked again - I have regained his trust!
                          Sunbeam,

                          Folks without our problem would never understand how important that is...hubby not locking the cooler anymore. GOOD for you!!!
                          I was quite sad when my hubby threw away the rest of the bottle of wine one night after I'd been modding fairly successfully. I was so proud of myself I wasn't going to go back for more and then discovered the next day he had tossed the bottle worried that I was going to.
                          That was a sad moment but hey...couldn't be mad. He'd been a pretty co-dependent husband for years. Hard for him to change too.
                          BTW - the drinking this week-end at the luxury hotel didn't go as well as I had hoped.
                          It was too easy to have the Tequila Sunrise by the pool with everyone else around 2 pm and do the 4pm happy hour for a drink - so by the time dinner and drinks came and then a night cap by the pool at 11 at night I had done 4-5 each day.
                          Now, I know the whole modding thing is our own subjective thing we're doing. But I totally blew the no more than 1 drink per day for women that The National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence recommends. Actually when I drink I usually blow it because more times than not I have two and not one. However, on vacation (esp. one like this when it's poolside all day - not diving, sightseeing, etc.) it's so much easier to drink 4-5 over a period of 8-9 hours. I didn't feel that bad because I didn't get drunk because the drinks were spaced so far apart but it wrecks my goal of no more than 7 per week and looks bad on the drinktracker. What do other modders think about it when they overdrink over a period of many hours?

                          Thoughts,
                          Eve11
                          "Control your destiny or somebody else will"

                          ~Jack Welsh~:h

                          God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Ch-ch-ch-changes Thinking about drinking

                            Hi Eve,
                            I think I'm seeing a pattern here - we all go over our limits. We all still have difficulty limiting our intake. I think the "vampire drinking" happens when our defenses are down. That could be on vacation, or for me it was a particularly nice afternoon on the patio. It takes effort to drink moderately, and sometimes we don't put in the effort. I think if it happens too many times, many of us will decide to quit for good. I think you have mentioned that possibility, and I have definitely thought about it. What's so great about drinking, anyway? Your thought that over a period of time, the limits should be higher is valid, but are we all just making excuses? That's the kind of mood I'm in today. It will probably change, because I guess I still like the feeling when I'm drinking, but that memory lapse I do find scary. I had "only" 5 glasses, over maybe 3 hours. Now that I drink infrequently, my tolerance is clearly less. That's a good thing, and I want to keep learning from my mistakes. But the day could definitely come when I say, "I'm done".

                            It is funny about my husband's trust. He has always said that my excess drinking is "my problem", and he is correct. He knows much I drank Saturday, and that I fell asleep on the sofa. But it is way better than before, and I think he is grateful about that. We don't talk about my drinking much.

                            So is modding delusional? I guess it depends on what one means by that statement. Is going AF the only option? I don't think so. I think we are all able to continue our learning, continue getting the support we need here, keep living our lives responsibly. But we do have to swallow humble juice from time to time. That will probably never go away.

                            BTW, you would enjoy a presentation on alcoholism that Nancy posted. I copied her link, and added it today to the toolbox page 10 under monthly abstinence. It was very positive.
                            My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

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