Today NEEDS to be my day one

[lukalee]

Since November my life has turned to complete shit. My hair is straw, my skin is crap, my eyes are sunken, my mouth a dry smelly desert. I need a plan, and I just don't know what that plan is. Writing seems to help me a lot, so I figure I can start from here. I don't know what I am afraid of. Will I hate the person I see when I am sober? Seems so ridiculous, because I hate the me that I have become. I don't want to become the old bag lady walking down the street talking to nothing; I don't want to be an embarrassment to my kids; I don't want to be a drunk. This nightmare HAS to stop. Today NEEDS to be my day 1. :upset:

[DeeBee]

Today NEEDS to be my day one

Hi Lukalee,
Is there anything I can do to help?
Sending you strength to get through day 1.

[lukalee]

Today NEEDS to be my day one

Thanks. I need to just get through this; I am having a lot of anxiety, but it will pass. It's funny, I was just checking out the drink tracker---which I have not used since November because I had a flood and was out of my house for a couple of months without a computer---my drinking has become progressively worse since I stopped coming here to talk and put my numbers down. Looking at the months I used to use it, I had some really great months (only drinking once a month), and I had some not so promising month; yet, I still drank a lot less than I do now. The interesting part is that I can now look at those not so great months and pinpoint what happened. At the time, I was just putting numbers in---hopefully zeros----so I could see. Now I can go back to those numbers and reflect on why I screwed up.

[DeeBee]

Today NEEDS to be my day one

The DT is a fantastic tool to use.
I keep a little blue book next to my bed and track my AL consumption, my feelings, and what exercise I did for the day. It's a very simple little chart that I have going and it's so obvious when I look back and see my AL consumption increased in times when I wasn't exercising and was feeling blue.
Being aware of our actions and feelings is the beginning.

[last call]

Today NEEDS to be my day one

Welcome back Lukalee. Day l is hard I know. Just put your mind to it. You can do it. Stay close and reach out to us for help if you need it. We have all gone thru the same thing and can offer encouragement and a shoulder to lean on. Best of luck.

[CS04]

Today NEEDS to be my day one

Lukalee, again, good to see you back. Feel free to PM me or call anytime.

[dlw]

Today NEEDS to be my day one

WELCOME BACK
DAY 1 is almost over, day 2 will be easier
and by day 3, you will start to feel better
If the time gets tough, break it down to 1/2 day at a time, and if that is tough to comprehend, tray 1 hour at a time
YOU can do it