:new:
Hello all, I have been battling with the demon drink for a long time. I would say it all started in my early 20's when I started drinking a little more and then it gradually increased over time. In 1996 I ended up getting chronic jaw/facial pain after dental treatment. My use of alcohol increased dramatically at that time. I also used other substances as well as a means of escaping from the pain. However using alcohol suddenly became quite pleasurable for a time until bad things started happening for example accidents and more recently feelings of anger and expressing than after having a few drinks. I don't like how I feel when I drink sometimes now. I start feeling very sad when drunk and end up in tears or drink so much with people that I black out and don't remember the night or what happened? Its scary especially when you wake up with blood all over the bed and ripped clothes after falling over and losing belongings. That was last year and although nothing like that happened this year its only a matter of time in my opinion before there is a big drunken night out and the blackout happens and god knows what will happen to me and I'm afraid of what damage I'm doing to my body!? That is something that plays on my mind a lot. There is so much publicity in the UK now about the number of units that are safe. I've counted up that on an average week I would drink 48 to 50 units!! One day last weekend before last a friend came to dinner and he is a big drinker as well. We drank 3 bottles of wine over lunch between us and then went for 2 pints of beer each on the way to the station. And on the way back I ended up getting 6 beers from the shop. I didn't drink them because I blacked out and don't remember anything of the evening at all.
Is this the sum of my life now? Getting hammered and blacking out. No longer is my drinking the pleasurable pastime that it used to be when I first started out and was able to have 1 or 2 a week. I don't believe in the "once an alcoholic always an alcoholic" or "born an alcoholic" theories. I don't believe in the disease theory and I don't like AA or its way of operating. Thats fine if it works for people that go but it isn't for me. I stopped once for 8 months without any support group or meetings and it was the most joyous 8 months of my life. I also went on holiday to Florida for 17 Days two weeks after stopping and was with a drinking buddy. I drove all over Florida whilst he drank in the evenings and I had soft drink. I also never thought it was possible to fly, especially long distance, without drinking. Actually it was a much more enjoyable experience because I was awake and aware and not dehydrating.
I'm glad this site is here and I assumed it was mostly not based around AA but probably accepted anyones way of getting sober.
Good luck everyone.
Hello all, I have been battling with the demon drink for a long time. I would say it all started in my early 20's when I started drinking a little more and then it gradually increased over time. In 1996 I ended up getting chronic jaw/facial pain after dental treatment. My use of alcohol increased dramatically at that time. I also used other substances as well as a means of escaping from the pain. However using alcohol suddenly became quite pleasurable for a time until bad things started happening for example accidents and more recently feelings of anger and expressing than after having a few drinks. I don't like how I feel when I drink sometimes now. I start feeling very sad when drunk and end up in tears or drink so much with people that I black out and don't remember the night or what happened? Its scary especially when you wake up with blood all over the bed and ripped clothes after falling over and losing belongings. That was last year and although nothing like that happened this year its only a matter of time in my opinion before there is a big drunken night out and the blackout happens and god knows what will happen to me and I'm afraid of what damage I'm doing to my body!? That is something that plays on my mind a lot. There is so much publicity in the UK now about the number of units that are safe. I've counted up that on an average week I would drink 48 to 50 units!! One day last weekend before last a friend came to dinner and he is a big drinker as well. We drank 3 bottles of wine over lunch between us and then went for 2 pints of beer each on the way to the station. And on the way back I ended up getting 6 beers from the shop. I didn't drink them because I blacked out and don't remember anything of the evening at all.
Is this the sum of my life now? Getting hammered and blacking out. No longer is my drinking the pleasurable pastime that it used to be when I first started out and was able to have 1 or 2 a week. I don't believe in the "once an alcoholic always an alcoholic" or "born an alcoholic" theories. I don't believe in the disease theory and I don't like AA or its way of operating. Thats fine if it works for people that go but it isn't for me. I stopped once for 8 months without any support group or meetings and it was the most joyous 8 months of my life. I also went on holiday to Florida for 17 Days two weeks after stopping and was with a drinking buddy. I drove all over Florida whilst he drank in the evenings and I had soft drink. I also never thought it was possible to fly, especially long distance, without drinking. Actually it was a much more enjoyable experience because I was awake and aware and not dehydrating.
I'm glad this site is here and I assumed it was mostly not based around AA but probably accepted anyones way of getting sober.
Good luck everyone.
Comment