the get over it thing

[Citygirl]

Hi All,

I am new here and I have already learned so much just by reading this board. Thanks to all you lovely people who have helped me so much already!

I've read the book and this board and I'm trying to make my plan to at the very least reduce my drinking. I am open to abstinence, but I'm not "going there" at the moment. Crossing this first bridge is hard enough to wrap my head around!

Here's my habit in a nutshell: I drink 1 to 1-1/2 bottles of wine a day from about 8PM until I've had enough to fall asleep (usually around 12). I've built up to this for years and have been doing this pattern now for about 4 years. I drink because I have terrible anxiety, an obsessive mind, occasional depression and insomnia (oh, the insomnia)! I don't have any DUI's or anything because I drink socially "acceptably" and then have more when I get home to get the "requisite" amount.

I have a job (actually I have 2 and I am starting my own business as well). So, I'm ambitious and over-worked and kind of type-A. I guess I'm one of those "high functioning" alcoholics. I drink mostly by myself and I live alone. I have never said any of this to anyone until just this moment.

The book says that I need to "Get over it" and talk to my doctor and fess up so I can get prescriptions monitored by a doctor. I don't mind the fessing up part, but I am terrified of having a "pre-existing" condition on my insurance record. Since I'm starting my own business in the coming year, I may soon have to give up the company insurance I currently enjoy and I am terrified that I will be denied coverage or it will cost me an arm and a leg. (I live in the US, in case it's not painfully obvious ; >) California to be exact.

My area is very expensive, in terms of paying out of picket to a doctor, so I feel like I kind of have to do this on my own. The book also says that it's terribly difficult, which I have no doubt. I could do a therapist out of pocket, but I wouldn't be able to see them every week. It's extraordinarily expensive.

The book also said don't order drugs online, although I see people here on MYO do order online with some frequency?!?

So my questions for anyone out there are:

1. Can I do this by myself? Or am I an idiot to try?

2. Is a plan of Nal + Campral + Anti-anxiety the way to go?

3. If all of the above is true, is ordering online okay?

Thanks for listening and thanks for any help you can give. I appreciate it so very much!

Best to all,
Citygirl

[christyacc]

the get over it thing

Welcome Citygirl!

You can order online with ease. There are a few that you can depend on that others have mentioned, River Pharmacy, 4rx.com, eshoprx.com, etc.

I am not saying this is the way, and I am certainly not a doctor, but some people have mentioned that Baclofen helps with cravings AND anxiety. Read the Bac threads....you will learn lots.

Lots of people do this on their own.....others have the support of their GP's which is amazing, but as I said, most do it alone. Not entirely alone as we all have support here......

Best of luck,
Christy

[louise]

the get over it thing

Welcome Citygirl. Lots of people do this without any kind of prescription medication - just the nutritional supplements and hypno. And many of us who are using medication, myself included, order on line for the exact reasons you list. Do you have the supplements and cds? If so, you may want to go ahead and start with that and exercise while you read up on various medications to make your decision. I personally would not mix medications until I know how 1 effects me, but there are people using more than 1. I have no advice about the 2 you are considering, sorry.

[scrubbly]

the get over it thing

Citygirl;656057 wrote: I drink because I have terrible anxiety, an obsessive mind, occasional depression and insomnia (oh, the insomnia)!

I am terrified of having a "pre-existing" condition on my insurance record. The book also said don't order drugs online, although I see people here on MYO do order online with some frequency?!?

So my questions for anyone out there are:

1. Can I do this by myself? Or am I an idiot to try?

2. Is a plan of Nal + Campral + Anti-anxiety the way to go?

3. If all of the above is true, is ordering online okay?

Hi and Welcome! Ok, I will do all the usual disclaimer stuff of not being any kind of medical professional myself, but I have a few thoughts on your questions...

1. I believe you can do anything you like by yourself, and you are most assuredly NOT an idiot.

2. As for a plan, your consumption sounds a lot like mine was, but your underlying issues sound a bit more complex...and they sound "self-diagnosed" too...or have you at some point been to a doctor and been told you have an actual anxiety disorder, OCD, or depression etc? Many of us who have been drinkers for a while find that although we had anxiety-like symptoms, found that once we got sober the anxiety seemed to wane to a pretty manageable level without prescription medication. Others find that they still need some kind of anti-anxiety RX. For me, I followed RJ's plan in the book, and just did the herbal regimen and the Topamax, which I did order from River Pharmacy in Canada, for the same reasons as you, didn't want to go to my usual GP and have it on my medical record, period. For me, it not only did the trick for the alcohol cravings, it aided with the mild anxiety and general stress management issues of quitting alcohol for those first couple months.

3. Yes, ordering online is ok, but go with a trusted source...other than River, I have heard good things on the boards about 4rx.com...people may know of others and might weigh in here for your information.

[jessie]

the get over it thing

Hi CityGirl,
Your story sounds a lot like mine. Functioning well during the day and then drinking myself asleep at night. But it started to escalate into 2-4 day binges, which scared me very much. A lot of women especially drink home alone, for obvious reasons. I also suffer from depression, obsessice-compulsive thinking and anxiety. And alcohol makes it a lot worse.
Please stay in touch and pm me if you like.

[Tulipe]

the get over it thing

Hi City,
I was the same way - full speed ahead all the way until the evening came, except my husband was around to see the damage. Here are responses, in no particular order:

I wonder when the book was published? If it was a few years ago, I'd say that online ordering has improved.
I believe you can go it alone, but that being said I saw a doctor who gave me campral, which I'd never heard of before. Going to the pharmacy with the script is also a little gaggy for me - I'd order online if I thought I could, given where I live. You'll find a lot of support here, even chatting helps immensely.

Look forward to hearing more,
Tulipe

[nancy]

the get over it thing

Well, I tried to respond and I guess it didn't work.

Try #2

Which book? I haven't read My Way Out in a long time but as I remember the author herself ordered online and her website is sponsored by online pharmacies.

Of course the ideal is to get professional help. I advise paying privately for one or two sessions with a proper addiction specialist. You can then shop around for online pharmacies.

If you don't want to do that.... lots of people shop online and do it themselves. Just be sure to do your homework on all the drawbacks and side effects. There are many great books out like Eskapa's book on the Sinclair Method (naltrexone) and Amieson on Baclofen. Baclofen might interest you because it works on anxiety and is not supposed to be addictive.

And you would have this community board for support.

Just do your homework though. I read so many great things about baclofen but only recently read that if you miss a dose it can be extremely dangerous. Like you might have seizures. That means you need to be well stocked on medication for one. With nal, the med blocks all opioid receptors so if you need to go to ER in emergency, you might not respond to drugs. I also read that the response to Al can be magnified if you drink without taking it. If you are caring for yourself, you need to be aware of all the advantages and drawbacks.

Having said all that, it seems that the drugs are helping people and if you have a severe problem and you have failed with abstinence and moderation, therapy, they seem worth trying.

[Boss.man]

the get over it thing

I'm with Nancy on Baclofen.

I'm with you on #1. Of course you can do it yourself. I read some factoid in some book that over half of all people who abuse alcohol later give it up. Amazed? Don't be: They grow old. As people age, their tolerance decreases. A lot of people just quietly taper an stop. Of course, a few are incarcerated. Quite a few more end up hospitalized (for any reason), cancer, disease, joint replacement, heart condition, obesity treatment or common disease, and undergo forced detox because of an extended hospital stay. Still others have a horrible incident related to alcohol, and undergo voluntary cessation simply because of the concequences of their action.

So a point is: Do it now? Or do it later? You too can be an alcoholic at 72 and alcohol free at 73 after your family moves you to the "home". You can be an alcoholic until "the big accident", and then quit while facing the ramifications of your habits. Alcohol is a ride. The way to get off the ride will come from your own heart, and not from a pill bottle. But it is sobering for me to consider that you WILL get off this ride at some point, as most people do. Pills can help some symptoms, but the cure will come from inside yourself.

As for #2, read about all the things people are trying here on the forums. It's a wealth of information. Roberta's Book MWO gives an approach based on Topomax. Since it's writing Campral and Baclofen have become common treatments. I'm having huge success simply with meditation, breathing and mindfulness exercises. I rejected this approach here on the forums nine months ago as being inappropriate for my lifestyle. Imagine a business owner who meditates! An open mind and some trials have shown me that my original thinking was wrong, and this is the best route right now for me.

[me1455]

the get over it thing

hey you, i understand how people say they drink one to one and a half etc, and my average is that on a normal night, usually a bit less, its just so funny how you never have had those embarassing crazy drunk nights that happen to often with myself and many others. ur so lucky! but welcome here!

[Citygirl]

the get over it thing

the "get over it" thing

Holy cow!

I can?t believe 8 people responded to my post! Such thoughtful and generous responses too ? who knew?!?! (I wasn?t sure if I?d just hear crickets or what)!

You are all so appreciated. What a kind thing to do to give such meaningful responses to a person you don?t even know, whose problems have nothing to do with you and (for all you know) may be bat s**t crazy!

Very cool.

The book I read was the one by Beverly Rayfield. I am still new here and working on absorbing everything that?s here, so I haven?t read everything, although the posts seem to be the most educational element I?ve ever seen.

I?ve (on my own, before I discovered this site) tried supplements (Kudzu and Glutamine) and I didn?t notice a reaction/response at all. These were supplements I got on my own, so maybe the brand makes a difference, but I did check and the dosages were similar.

In addition to having a big workload, I also care for an elderly relative. This has been progressing for many years, but in the last 5-10 has escalated. It takes up a great deal of time and energy and some money, of course, and I have noticed a significant increase in my drinking in the last 5 years. I KNOW I drink to cope with this. This has also been a big reason why I haven?t had a family. Although I don?t have a strong ?clock? ticking for kids, if I?m going to do it, I need to do it soon, if you get my drift ; >)

My father was an alcoholic (died in his early 60?s with heart failure) and my grandfather on my mother?s side was an alcoholic as well. I NEVER drank in HS or college, but once I moved to the ?big city,? I got my first taste of wine with my oh-so-sophisticated boyfriend, and that was IT. I loved it. I became a wine snob. And it was fun. I drank a lot and built up and built up, and while once it was about an ?art of wine? it clearly is not about ?art? anymore. Of course, the appreciation is still there, but the purpose is entirely different.

All of you advice has been immeasurable. I can?t thank you enough. I suppose the only way to repay the advice is to give back, as you have done, when the time comes.

Not sure if I should keep bugging people on this thread or star a new one, but I?ll figure it out as I go, I suppose. Right?

Thank you so very much.

Xoxo,
Citygirl

[Cinders]

the get over it thing

Citygirl,

:welcome:

There are many threads you can join. Newcomers are always welcomed.

Poke around and see where you feel you best fit and just jump on in.

Or, you can continue this thread. Lots of people do that, too.

It is up to you.

Glad you are here and I hope you find Your Way Out!!

Cindi

[louise]

the get over it thing

Glad you checked back Citygirl. You will find this site filled with high functioning alcoholics/problem drinkers. And those who used to be before it took them down, but who are headed back up again and are an inspiration. Not familiar with the book you are talking about - we all thought you were talking about "My Way Out" - the book written by the woman who started this site. That's why we were confused about "get over it"! You may want to get it so you understand when people talk about supplement recommendations, etc. As for them, most can be bought at health food stores but the only kudzu I would trust is from the health store here - it is formulated to match that used in studies.

[Citygirl]

the get over it thing

Thank you, thank you, thank you all!

This has been a great, inspiring experience. I've never done anything like this and I am so encouraged by the spirit of the people here.

I'm in research mode for my life with a lot better sense of direction because of you all. I'm already beginning to think more consciously about my drinking, which I've never really done. The WHY. Which can be explained by obvious over-extension, stress and obligations that would make anyone's head rattle. But people who don't over-abuse alcohol have the same or worse set of circumstances, so....I don't know why I am the way I am. I know it makes me feel very "less than." I don't know why I drink, while people with bigger problems than mine don't drink at all or who don't have an issue with alcohol at all.

Anyway, maybe it's got nothing to do with our lot in life. Maybe it's genetics. My dad was an alcoholic and my maternal grandfather was also. Maybe I'm genetically pre-disposed? I don't know....off on a research/information gathering mission.

Again, you are all amazing people. Your generosity astounds me. I will chime in again on another thread. I hope that thread will attract you back ; >) You're awesome.

xo,
Citygirl

[christyacc]

the get over it thing

I don't know why I am the way I am. I know it makes me feel very "less than." I don't know why I drink, while people with bigger problems than mine don't drink at all or who don't have an issue with alcohol at all.

I wonder the very same thing....but we are who we are, and we deal with it. We aren't less than anyone. That's all.