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YoungAtHeart
September 1st, 2006, 11:31 PM
Good Saturday Morning Dear Abbers!

Well today is the last day of my tenure for now, and I will happily pass the baton on to the lovely and wise Southern Belle, and Belle will help her keep track of everything here in Absville.

I have a story to tell, though--a story of confession and success at the same time. I'm kind of embarrassed, but bear with me, cause I think it has a good ending. Yours truly found herself yesterday afternoon with a bourbon and ginger in hand (bourbon left over from earlier this summer when a friend visited) and I had a sip, well, actually a gulp. Also, I didn't just find myself--I had to go to the laundry room where I had hidden the stuff and make the darn drink and everything. At any rate, I had this gulp, and just as impulsively, I thought, "What the h*ll are you doing???", and just as impulsively, I poured it down the sink, and the rest of the bourbon, too. Actually, it didn't taste very good to me. :yuk:

Anyway, I suppose I've had a slip:blush: , but as far as slips go, it's the best I've ever had, and the fastest I've ever stopped. It's also the best I've ever felt about having one, because I feel like maybe something IS starting to change somewhere in my brain. I do feel really embarrassed telling you this. The Mayor in a scandal!!! Yet, I know I'd feel even worse if I drank the whole drink, or worse, if I didn't tell you! At any rate, I made some decaf cappucino instead. On some level, it's hard for me to call this a slip, even though I know it is, because I feel like I accomplished something, as weird as that may sound. At any rate, I'm 20 something days/1.

I hope you all have a lovely Saturday, and I'll be checking in later. The rain is blowing on through--the storm passed east of here, so it wasn't too bad at all.

Lots of love,
Kathy:l

wellseasoned
September 2nd, 2006, 06:00 AM
Kathy
Hey, don't be embarrassed. Slips are all part of this road to recovery, I think, even tiny ones like yours! I think that was why I stopped counting - because I was having slips and getting frustrated. Coming back to this board and those that I knew understood and offered support and understanding has given me the strength to keep trying. I know I will make it! You will too! I must admit, I look forward to your cheerful morning posts and will miss them but look forward to Belle and thank her for taking up the charge!
For the record, I have officially started "counting" days again. God works in mysterious ways sometimes and I have decided that my daughter's 90 day mip probabtion forced abs is also supposed to be mine as well. What better way to show support for my beautiful daughter and set an example for her? We have always had honest conversations in the area of alcohol but talk and action are two different things. Time for Mom to back those words with some supportive action. Not that I wasn't supportive before, just that this is the perfect opportunity for me to make a positive impression in the area of drinking and abstaining.
Hope you all have a wonderful Saturday.
Blessings and lots of fun and laughter today.
Jenn

Bambino
September 2nd, 2006, 06:01 AM
Good morns Saturday to Absville.

Glad you are all still ok peeps in USA .. Been reading reports on internet and the hurricane does seem to have calmed down to rain and wind now . So HOORAH !!!- sounds like everyday weather in Uk really!!!

Well done Kathy on throwing away your bourbon. That IS an acheivement in itself.. I couldn't do it, and it certainly wouldn't have been lurking there for more than - oooh about 2 hours unattended never mind since the beginning of the summer!

Tasks for today:
- Buy new smoke alarm - sadly the other one couldn't recover from it's drowning incident , even after CPR and 'open alarm surgery' by my husband. :H
- Buy new light that was smashed by aforementioned alarm leaping off the ceiling.
- And maybe just a mooch around the DIY shops.

Lee is playing Rugby in Dalton-In-Furness, Cumbria - Macks neck of the woods, it takes about 2 - 3 hours on a coach to get there and he won't be back until about 7 ( told him to pop in for a cuppa at Macks, so get the kettle on !) .
All in all maybe the breakages were a godsend because it will give me something positive to do today. And at least I can trust myself up a ladder now!
Day 4 today, cravings come and go like a rollercoaster, but hangin in there.
Hope today brings lovely things to everyone.

Love and kisses
Liz
xxxx :l

southernbelle47
September 2nd, 2006, 06:29 AM
Good morning Absville..........

Hey Kathy.....good job in pouring the drink down the drain........as we all know it's that first drink that starts the slippery slope.

Did I miss something? I thought Gabby was going to do this week? Gabby poo..........speak up!

I spent last night watching tv with hubby. He did his usual "nap" , so I watched Dateline. They had a lady named Audrey on. She really needed to live in Absville. If you missed it, go to dateline.msnbc and read her story. It will break your heart and give us all some food for thought about who should EVER try moderation. I'm for sure putting down roots here in Absville. Thinking I may even buy up more property!

Will check back later.......need coffee.

Nancy & Belle:l

southernbelle47
September 2nd, 2006, 06:31 AM
Jenn & Liz..............:l to you too!

Nancy

Guest
September 2nd, 2006, 06:40 AM
I will try once again to reside in absville. I am on day 5. The past couple months have been rough for me...not able to get much further than 3-4 days in a row. Guess my heart wasn't in it as it was when I first came to MWO last December. Did anyone see Dateline last night? They interviewed Audrey Kishline, the founder of Moderation Management. It hit home for me. She has been to hell and back...drove in a blackout and killed a 12 yo girl and her father. She stated that she still believed that MM can work for some people, but not if you are a "true alcoholic". I believe I fit in that category and need to stop fooling myself. Audrey lost everything that meant anything to her and that could so easily be me.
Kathy...so proud of how well you are progressing! You sound like you have come such a long way this month.
Jenn....good for you in supporting your daughter as you are. Yes, God sure does work in mysterious ways!
Bambino....I'm right there with ya with the cravings issue! Hang in there. Talk yourself thru it. Stay close to the board. I work 12 hrs today and tomorrow at the hospital, so I am safe. No time to think or even actually drink. As soon as I walk in the door, my boys will want their "mom time" then straight to bed.
Hoping I don't have a change of heart and runaway from here again. Someone please send out an "Amber alert" if I do or throw a cyber stone at my head! Gina

southernbelle47
September 2nd, 2006, 06:46 AM
Hey Gina,
Glad you are here. I watched Dateline also..........we all have loved ones who drive the highways....makes you think!

There was a lady with two boys killed on I59 down here by a drunk driver. She went to the same church we did. Her boys grew up without her .

Check it out on dateline.msnbc if you missed it last night.
Nancy

wellseasoned
September 2nd, 2006, 07:37 AM
Thanks for the heads up on the Dateline article. I just read it. WOW! I sent the link to my Dad.
Jenn

gabby
September 2nd, 2006, 07:54 AM
Hi all, in a rush to the farmers marker. Nancy arent you proud of me? ya I'll do next week unless you wanna get it done cuz of the wedding comming. I have to travel on wednesday but I can still post. I'll be back later. Gotta get some stuff before its all gone. gabby

sujul
September 2nd, 2006, 09:14 AM
Missed the show last night but just read the Dateline article... http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14627442/

I read it in tears and reminded myself--again--why it is I live in Absville... As some of you know, I was abs for 11 years before deciding I could moderate, which I attempted to do for 10 years before checking myself into rehab last April...

Moderation is certainly not an option for me. And I thank God that I did not have to learn this lesson the way Audrey Kishline did. I pray to God that none of us does.

Don't have any cheery thoughts on top of this--I'll check back later.
:l
susan

pansy
September 2nd, 2006, 09:47 AM
september 2

Morning all,

I am happy to be on Day 2 of abs again. This time, with work starting up again, I am confident that I can make it through at least this month and likely more. After all, I had 6 weeks of abs before I started moderating a bit. I just realized that I was starting to get a bit sloppy and a lot less moderate.

Gina, I am so glad that you have made it to day 5. When I was in daily drinking mode, days 3 and 4 were always the worst. I think that 7 Weeks to Sobriety recommends Evening Primrose to help with the hump. Seems that I should pick up my book and check since I could be way wrong on that one. I don't think these days should be that bad since I have not been drinking nearly as much, just too often. I am glad that you are working today and tomorrow. It almost like you are gauranteed Day 6!! That is an awesome thing, Gina. I know how hard this has been, so I am super proud of you. :l

Congrats to everyone else who is making their abs program work. Kathy, I think you are WAY making your program work. It seems like most of the folks on today, so far, are those who have been living in absville for quite some time.

It's nice to be back!

To do today:
put together gazelle, move treadmill to garage, order fall clothes online, vacuum upstairs and downstairs, move puter to basement, set it up, put up new curtains, order books from amazon, go to hospital

YAWN - going back to bed.:H NOT .... gotta go get coffee everyone!!

Pansy

nomorewine
September 2nd, 2006, 10:38 AM
Hi everyone -

Trying to move back into Absville this month. It seems like everyone is really doing well and that is hope inspiring. The Dateline story breaks my heart but is a great reminder of what can happen. There are times alcohol just makes us do dumb sh*t we would never do sober - and sometimes, we don't even know we are doing things. That's scary - I've been there.

Anyway, headed out of town for a few days and hoping to keep on the path. So tired of "starting over" but here it goes again!

Have a great and safe weekend all.

Kate

SOLA
September 2nd, 2006, 12:10 PM
Hello Everyone,

I've been doing ABS since August 13th. I'm new although I've been reading posts for a couple of months. My goal right now is to not drink for at least three months. It's been a long time coming so I feel confident that I will be able to do this. Like many others the after work hours are the hardest. I'm doing the vitamins and should be recieving the MWO book anytime now. I live on a small Island so there isn't alot to do. But I'll find something! Cleaning my house is getting old!

Sola

mikeupnorth
September 2nd, 2006, 01:00 PM
Hello to everyone in Abbsville,

A special welcome to SOLA! This is a great place to be ~

I'd love to be able to respond a bit to everyone's posts, as they are all interesting and inspiring. Please know that I'm very happy to have you as my new neighbors. (Once I'm a bit more unpacked, I'll invite you over for an alcohol-free party!!)

Kathy: I'm inspired by the fact that you didn't finish the drink, that you poured it down the drain, and ESPECIALLY that you came here to talk about it. We are all vulnerable and have our small successes and slips -- they are part of recovery -- but it's the isolation that really gets us. Thanks for sharing this with us.

Jenn: I agree that there is a big difference between words and action -- I'm sure your daughter will appreciate your going through the 90 days' abstinence with her, and who knows, maybe she will decide she likes sobriety.

Bambs: Sounds like you're doing well -- good luck and hopefully the next smoke detector you get won't be schizophrenic!

Gina: I know how hard it can be to make it past the first few days.... I have felt like such a failure in the past for setting goals or making promises to myself and then completely "changing my mind" a few days later. Lord knows, what I "want" can change from one hour to the next. Why don't we both make a pact that we will check in here at least once a day? I will watch for your posts if you'll watch for mine? I don't quite trust myself yet either....

And to everyone else out there, have a great Saturday. I'm going to look at the Dateline website, and have some coffee. (It's still morning here in Alaska.) And I'll check back in later.

Mike

Bambino
September 2nd, 2006, 02:17 PM
Good Evening All.

Lee is still in Lake District - probably chinwagging with macks !

Got back from my shopping trip and all boxes were ticked and a couple more besides !.

Obtained dinky alarm that lights up in case of power cut and you can check it weekly by waving a torch under it ??? !!! Saves breaking your neck on a ladder I suppose.:H

New lampshade to replace the one that schizo alarm smashed.

All essentials sorted. So,

Bargain basement chrome type light switches to replace the antiquated ones that were here . 10 for a cinch ( is that the right word ) ? in the sale. I even put one up - so now we have a plumber and a sparks ( electrician ) here in Absville!

2 x NASA developed pink dog collars, I think that should have withstanded a meteor or nuclear attack, but one was chewed off after 15 mins. hmmmm.

A rubber doggie toy. That is still intact- for now.

A Happy meal for me, because I was feeling HAPPY..

Had a lovely day and Lee has asked me to pick him up from his local Rugby club at about 10-ish, which I have never been able to do because I have always been too sloshed. It makes me so proud that I CAN DO IT. HOORAH :)

Sorry for waffling on, but I just feel on top of the world today - trying to hold on to this feeling.
I would also like to thank you all your supportive comments, love and the will to carry on that you have instilled in me over the last few days .
And of course since I met you all.

:thanks: :l

Love to you all.
Will speak tomorrow - have a good day/ night/ evening - gets confusing !

Mackeral
September 2nd, 2006, 04:44 PM
Hiya All,
Not gonna stop on long tonight,i wanted to address everyone today aswell. Just had a few issues at home today that needed my full attention. I'm not a small bloke and not a lot scares me, but my 12 year old daughter scares the living sh*t out of me sometimes.
Bit stressed tonight but being good..Guzzling lucozade and my jaw is killing from chewing on sweets.
Be back on in the morning in a better mood i hope...Everything seems better in the morning.
Bubba your lad was in spitting distance from my house today....I live in a village about 2 miles from Dalton...Small world eh?
Take care all..........Macks:l

Guest
September 2nd, 2006, 05:47 PM
thanks for the link

Thanks for the Dateline link--hard story to read--especially knowing this could have been me many times. All its takes is one time behind the wheel and you are just rolling the dice. The sad reality is that so many get away with it many times--including those normal drinkers.

Friday was the day from hell with no sleep--I was phyically ill. I felt and looked like I had a raging hangover. I took some benadryl last night that helped a little--but still having trouble getting to sleep. So I got up and went to the local Med-Center today--lied my butt off and got 7 sleeping pills--I can hardly wait!

Glad to see everyone in absville today! I am off to a meeting tonight--I am looking forward to hear this girl's story. Plus, after my whole shake up with the sleeping I need a meeting. I was telling my sponsor yesterday if this continued--I was sure to drink. I think I was being somewhat dramatic--I knew there was no valid reason to drink--and I would feel much worse the next day anyways--not better. The really good thing about the whole experience is that this would have been the perfect reason to drink-- to justify it to myself. I still didn't--not long ago it would not have been that way.

Kim

YoungAtHeart
September 2nd, 2006, 07:28 PM
Blown Away....

God, I can hardly post for crying....what a sad story! If only we could all have an electrode implanted in our brains that would remind us of this story every time a thought of drinking entered our brains!! That would be so helpful! But we just have to keep working on undoing the habits that keep us thinking about drinking until we are thinking about other things. Of course, we also have to also be wary of when the beast can sneak up on us unaware, just like it did to me yesterday! Yikes. I'm glad that I escaped in the nick of time without too much damage! Whew! I'm still amazed at myself and feeling very grateful.

It's interesting, because before I found MWO, I was starting to have dreams of having cops chase me when I was drinking and driving, even though my friends and I had started staying at each others' houses if we were drinking! That was yet another red flag to me that I must do something about my drinking. I am still so very grateful to have found MWO!

I was struck by one line in the MSNBC story that "MM may be one of AA's best referral sources". I think it is so important that all alcoholism programs maintain respect for each other, and that we all maintain respect for each others' programs. We never know what it is like to walk in each others' shoes, so we must imagine and empathize as best as we can.

Anyway, love you all, and welcome to SOLA! I will enjoy being a regular "citizen" again for awhile. I will be happy to assume the mantle of "POWER" (Mayor) again late in Sept or early Oct. HaHaHa!!! (Too bad we don't have that little EVIL emoticon available here, LOL!!)

Hugs and love,:l :h
Kathy

Guest
September 2nd, 2006, 07:40 PM
Hello all.

Someone outside of this forum sent me the link to that story on US tv and I read it... and came here to post about it to see that you have all seen it anyway.. (trust me to have my finger on the pulse!!!!).

I think there is no doubt that our ability to delude ourselves is monumental. Getting to a place of honesty with ourselves is challenging and we resist every step of the way. Perhaps moderation can work for some, I doubt it, personally (sorry to those who disagree with me).. maybe it can work for people before they get to the stage that they look online for help.. I dont know. I think if you have found your way here, its unlikely.. maybe worth a try or two.. but not much more than that...

But life ISNT bad without drink. It is a challenge to get to thinking this way, but it is possible. I know when I started I thought,.. lets get to 3 weeks, - 3 months etc... The reality is that drinking for us ISNT NICE... it gets us into TROUBLE (capitals intended)... the sell of party, freedom etc of alcohol for us is part of our DELUSION.

I'm getting rabid in my old age!!!!!

Gina, welcome on board my friend. You have had a hard time, but I still believe you can do this... do you?
Kathy.. hugs.
Mike, hi
hi everyone else..
Brigid

Guest
September 2nd, 2006, 07:40 PM
Hello all.

Someone outside of this forum sent me the link to that story on US tv and I read it... and came here to post about it to see that you have all seen it anyway.. (trust me to have my finger on the pulse!!!!).

I think there is no doubt that our ability to delude ourselves is monumental. Getting to a place of honesty with ourselves is challenging and we resist every step of the way. Perhaps moderation can work for some, I doubt it, personally (sorry to those who disagree with me).. maybe it can work for people before they get to the stage that they look online for help.. I dont know. I think if you have found your way here, its unlikely.. maybe worth a try or two.. but not much more than that...

But life ISNT bad without drink. It is a challenge to get to thinking this way, but it is possible. I know when I started I thought,.. lets get to 3 weeks, - 3 months etc... The reality is that drinking for us ISNT NICE... it gets us into TROUBLE (capitals intended)... the sell of party, freedom etc of alcohol for us is part of our DELUSION.

I'm getting rabid in my old age!!!!!

Gina, welcome on board my friend. You have had a hard time, but I still believe you can do this... do you?
Kathy.. hugs.
Mike, hi
hi everyone else..
Brigid