Does Tomorrow Ever Come?

[TakeHeart]

I don't even know where to begin. I just got back from visiting my dad on the east coast of the USA. I had planned to not drink while I was there and to not drink at all when I got back. Well, I did drink a little (for me) while I was there...2 glasses of wine at night. Went through the horrible anxiety and not sleeping. Listened to my hypno cd's. Thought it was all under control.

CUT TO: Me in first class coming home...free AL and NO drinking buddies. Couldn't believe it! Surely someone else wants to drink themselves to oblivion? No??

My BF picked me up at the airport and despite the others, I did manage to get drunk. He knows I want to stop drinking...although under the guise of losing weight. I convinced him that we..I...needed one more bottle of wine. It is my last night, right?

Well, needless to say, I passed out as soon as we got home. Full glass of Chard by the bed. My sweetie doesn't buy cheap stuff and surely I can't just pour this down the drain. So, you might have already guessed. I drank it. Just finishing it up.

Today was supposed to be day #1. Now I am flirting with the idea of getting bottle #2...start tommorrow. I know I will.

But, I hate this about me. I am completely controlled.

One of my best friends, actually more like a sister gave up AL yesterday. We grew up together and although we live on different coasts, we're still a big part of each other's lives. I told her about this website, so I know she's lurking...BIG SHOUT OUT to you girl!!! I feel like I've not only failed me, but you. I know I was on my high horse yesterday about how we were going to beat this together...only to be here. I'm so sorry.

I don't even know what I'm looking for. Maybe just a place to write how bad I feel for, once again, not doing what I said about drinking. Please, I pray tomorrow will be the day...............................

[Changed1]

Does Tomorrow Ever Come?

Takeheart,

Take heart. I know it may not be possible to stop the cycle today, having had one, but you can always shoot for tomorrow. Please don't beat yourself up, rather use this experience as a tool to see what led up to this and how you might overcome it next time. :l

[TakeHeart]

Does Tomorrow Ever Come?

Hey Changed,

Thanks so much for your reply. I've posted several times on this website, but this is the first time I'm like "someone please help me", a real cry for help...which is also why I chose this thread. I've never posted and watched for a reply....until now.

I sit here crying my eyes out because today was supposed to be " the day" that i left this misery behind and it seems no one cares...

Okay, yes, I admit I am feeling sorry for myself. I am well aware no one can change this , but me......

Hmmmm, might I also be schizophreic??LOL!

All kidding aside, need some help. Thanks for responding.

[Cinders]

Does Tomorrow Ever Come?

TakeHeart,

Just because you goofed today does not mean you have to stay goofed today.

Determine that you won't drink anymore today and stay AF tomorrow.

You can do it. Resolve to do it and you can.

Cindi

[Boss.man]

Does Tomorrow Ever Come?

It's a process. Getting started here is a step. Having good intentions is a step. Spend a moment just to appreciate, you're already two steps closer. All you need from here on out is more steps.

[~iirene~]

Does Tomorrow Ever Come?

Yup, this booze elimination is a PROCESS, its trying to grab me. I can feel it.
My stress level is high right about now, an aunt is ready to die any minute, and i have just about had it with everything myself. I'm alright, just bitchin.

:thanks: for lettin me post some steam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[dill]

Does Tomorrow Ever Come?

TakeHeart, I feel for you! I was once where you are, and as Boss said, this is a process. Take some steps forward. I once thought I couldn't get past 2 days AF. Then, after some time, I was amazed that I was able to string 4 days together, but was stuck there. I didn't give up. I kept trying. Then one day, one fine 4th day, I decided to just do it! I made it to 5 days! And from there, a week. And I have continued on. It's a process for some of us. The important thing is Don't give up!