Wednesday, September 6th

[gabby]

Good Morning Abbers once again! Time sure travels so fast.
Well here it Wednesday and we are just moving right thru the week. Adding days to our recovery and well.....just moving forward!
For me I want to bring everyone and everything I own along this journey with me. But that would be hard to impossible. I want to wait for those that I love to come along with me. But I realize that I just need to give myself permission to grow, even tho the people I love the most arent ready to change.
I've thought about this as I read about spouses that still drink when the other is trying so hard down the road of recovery. We can not bring everyone with us on our journey of recovery. It doesn't help for us to stay stuck just because someone we love is stuck. The potential for helping others is far greater when we detach, work on ourselves, and stop trying to force others to change with us. We're accountable for ourselves. When we let them go, we let ourselves grow! I just had to share this one with our group and myself again. As I am having a few struggles with this. More food for thought. Gabbs

[Guest]

Wednesday, September 6th

Its so funny coming in here and getting confused about what day it is where everyone is cos its nearly 3pm here in ozzyland of the 6th sept and there is gabby welcoming in the day in the afternoon!!!! and I"m not drunk either!!!!

Gabby, I agree so much with what you say above there. There is a huge part of me that thinks.. I've found this way, everyone should just agree with me (read - do what I say!!!) and I used to find it so hard when people slipped or left here.. I sort of took it personally. Anyway, I did just what you suggested above and I just focused on myself. I'm the only person that I really can influence.. its only me that can change me. For me, I mustnt do this for anyone other than myself - so while others can motivate me, I find that my highest motivation must come from ME for ME. That way, I'm trying to prevent a slip cos I'd be letting MYSELF down and that would go against doing this for ME. Of course, what others share can influence me (and has greatly here).. so dont think I"m not acknowledging what people do here.. its great.

Its a huge thing to turn around my self worth... a real challenge and this is a big part of the issue for me... that I'm worth this fight simply because I'm me.

So, everyone here in abstrainland.. have a great day clocking up the numbers.

Brigid

[pansy]

Wednesday, September 6th

Morning all,

Abs day 6. I am too tired to even post much. Fell asleep on the couch last night before I even finished my sleepytime tea. Guess I will no longer complain about not being able to sleep. Time for work. YAWN.

Hope all are doing well,

Pansy

[Bambino]

Wednesday, September 6th

Good morning everyone here

I'm yawny too Pansy.. didn't go to bed till 2.30 and got up with hubby at 7 - I NEED my 9 hours sleep !!! Hope I'm not a grouch today.
Well been busying myself catching up here, dyed my hair ( the same colour as it is naturally - dark brown, but to cover those naughty little grey monkeys that are starting to make an appearance - I'm only 35 - surely this shouldn't happen !!!
Walked doggies.
Washed dishes cos couldn't be bothered last night - Lazy Moo !!!
Been to In-Laws for a cuppa and to collect some gorgeous bathroom tiles that were given to them and have changed their mind on their colour scheme - they are pale mottled blue - gorgeous - they are HUGE - and there is 35 of them - I could probably tile the whole house !
So now I'm a tiler now as well as a sparks if anyone in Abstown requires my services - I;m your gal !! I'm getting right into this DIY thing. Gonna have a stab at tiling - ha - can you imagine.
Leaving the re-painting of the bedrooms to Lee because he said he 'likes' to paint ( meaning can't do much else !! only joking Lee-kins xxx ) - that's in case he reads this !
Off to DIY store - again, to get some adhesive, a tile cutter, and grout... - ooooh - and Mcdonalds is right next door - I can feel a naughty little treat coming on !!

Will check in later - It's always tumble-weed hour at this time of the day, so look forward to everyone else's chatterboxing later.

lotsa snuggles. :l

Liz
xxxx

[YoungAtHeart]

Wednesday, September 6th

Another Yawn!

I made myself get up early with my daughter this morning so that I'd have time post and say more than "hello, goodbye!". I am so encouraged to see how busy Absville is, though! In fact, I'm going to quickly re-check yesterday's posts! BRB!

Okay, this won't work. It took seven pages on my printer just to get through ONE PAGE ON THE THREAD!!! Now, I'll try to get through the next few pages, by taking notes!!! Help!:nutso:

[Guest]

Wednesday, September 6th

Hi all!
Day 9 of abs. Love waking up with a clear conscience and free from guilt. It's 5 am here in CA. Woke early to make banana bread to pack in my boys lunch boxes. It's been too hot in the afternoon to turn on the oven. Wish we didn't have to wait til Nov here to enjoy fall weather! Off to work after I take them to school. I'll check back this evening. Gina

[wellseasoned]

Wednesday, September 6th

Good AM All!
I have been in and out of Absville these past two days (but still abing - as in AF) - life has been coming at me fast and no time to post. Moving my daughter out and into her first apartment and my son started his sophomore year in high school and had his 15th birthday. Also birthdays for my step daughter and step son in law. Busy time for our business as well.
Love to All of you and have a most wonderful Wednesday in Absville. Will catch up when things calm down later in the week.
Jenn
PS Lou Lou - Am praying for you

[YoungAtHeart]

Wednesday, September 6th

Really Back This Time!

Hi Fellow Absters! (the regulars and irregular regulars! LOL!)

I'll pick up on yesterday's theme of friendship, since I didn't chime in then. There were many profound things said that meant a lot to me. Nancy, boy do I agree that true friends will say the hard things to you that need to be said. They will say it with love, and those things will be hard to hear sometimes, but it's gotta happen for people to grow, and for love to grow, too, really. It reminded me of a good old friend of mine writing to me a few years after my divorce and really whapping me upside of the head and telling me to get off my *ss and stop feeling sorry for myself. She started her letter with, "I'm writing this because I love you, and I know you'll be angry, but please read this through." BOY WAS I ANGRY!!! How dare she ruin my pity party!! But I had to acknowledge that she was right, too, and it WAS TIME for me to start moving on and taking care of myself. We laugh about it now, but it was a hard letter for her to write and a hard letter for me to read. She could have just backed away from me, though, which ultimately would have hurt much more.

Relationships are hard, and drinking is just one of the ways that we retreat from having them. I see it all the time in the "real world" too. People get addicted to all sorts of things besides alcohol--sex, drugs, video games, tv, shopping--rather than struggle with relationships and intimacy. It's hard to be intimate--in friendship and with our significant others, and especially, at times, with our own selves. It doesn't help that modern life demands an awful lot out of us these days just to survive, either! But I won't get on my soapbox about THAT today!

I am grateful for the few good friends that I do have--I'm also at an age where all of my "drinking buddies" are concerned about their drinking as well, so even though we are avoiding getting together right now (to avoid drinking), we are starting to talk about trying to get together in ways that DON'T INVOLVE DRINKING. :yay: That's going to take work, though, because when we see each other, we start salivating for wine just like Pavlov's dogs started salivating when they heard the bell!

On a day-to-day basis, though, I had often felt very lonely, and MWO has made a huge difference in that respect. The common bond I feel with all of you means so much to me. In the past the disappointments I felt in other people helped fuel my drinking (my ex, some girlfriends), and my drinking fueled my inability to find new friends and healthier boyfriends. It was a vicious circle. Eventually, I mostly spent time with my friend, Wine. Until I realized that Wine, too, was also slowly destroying my life and my sense of self, just like yet another bad relationship!

family: Book Antiqua;">I don't know why we think we are supposed to be the life of the party, or ALWAYS keep conversations going, anyway, and why we think we should always be perfectly comfortable and at ease meeting new people. Why is that?? We have used alcohol as a social lubricant for so long!! In "real life", people ARE often awkward at first. If they can learn to tolerate the anxiety of meeting new people w/o the alcohol, friendships can eventually form. Or maybe they won't, but is isn't because of the lack of booze, maybe there just wasn't the common ground, right? Okay, I'll get off THIS soapbox now! LOL!

At any rate....Gabby, I must say that you picked your name well, cause you do have the "Gift of Gab", and you use it in just the very best way! You are so supportive. I knew I had good instincts when I gave you a gentle nudge to be Mayor!! I'm giving you a big pat on the back and I'm giving myself a little pat too!!! LOL! You're really wonderful!

Lou, how did the doc go?? I'm waiting to hear. Hoping everything went well, love!

Bambs (Liz), you do what you think is the best regarding the topa. You have to feel comfortable with yourself and relaxed.

Congrats on Day 5 Pansy. I'm glad that things have been going smoothly for you thus far. Also (in reading later) that falling asleep is getting easier, too. I know what a veteran insomniac you are, so that's terrific!

Hey Gina, good luck with your transitions at work...sounds like a stressful time. Hope you can keep coming on chat. I always love talking with you there!

I like your thoughts, Mike, you seem very down-to-earth. Thanks for the vote of confidence on the turquoise house as well. This color right here would do me fine! Maybe teal trim, like this? Naw, that's a little too, monochromatic. y;">Maybe a gray, although somewhat darker than this might be nice. I wouldn't want to go all the way to black, though. That would be too stark. Anyway.....teasing about house colors aside, I appreciate all of your thoughtful input here in Absville! I hope you stay a long time!

Nancy, it was your thoughts that got me started on my long diatribe up there! As usual, you always have something helpful to contribute! I hope that sending the dateline link to your cousin helps! I can understand why you are worried about her! Enjoy those tomatoes! I remember the big fat Creole tomatoes I used to grow in New Orleans. Major yum!!! Save a few for me, would you?? Nothing like a home-grown tomato!

CV, with your boyfriend deciding to crash your cleansing plans, PLEASE DO come on here as often as necessary. I have a sense of how you might feel. I like to get into a "zone" myself when I am starting on something, whether it is abs, a diet, getting into exercise, or whatever, and it is always good to just be able to got inside myself to focus. I hope that we can help you to stay centered in the next several days.

Lucky, it is always good to see you. Stay close, girlfriend!!

Good job on your three weeks, sophia!:good:

Hey Macks, I've always wanted to learn to fish. Maybe, if your missus doesn't object, I'll pop over in my bubble and you can teach me, okay? I also love to sing karaoke, too, but I must confess, I've only done it while toasted. I wonder what it would be like to sing sober?? I think it would be fun! You and the missus could take me to the pub, and we'll sing them under the table instead of drink them under the table! We won't even have to squint or close one eye to read the words! I'd love to meet the missus and the kids. Then, I'll take care of the kids while the two of you go off and have a holiday for a day or two. How's that sound?? (Then I'll need a holiday of my own! LOL!)

;">Anyway, I hope I haven't missed anybody. If I have, I'll catch up with you soon. I have another full day today.

Love to all!:h
Kathy

[SOLA]

Wednesday, September 6th

Right on Gabby!

Hello Everyone,

Gabby your soooo right. From day one I have made it all about me! My longtime boyfriend doesn't drink alot so I don't have any influences in house. Outside of the house is a different story. Been drinking with my best pal for twenty years. At first she would say things like"Aren't you going to have a drink today?" Now after 25 days she can tell that I'm serious about it and hasn't said much.(although I can tell she is happy for me) I don't want to distance myself from her because she is someone I trust and value as a friend. Infact she is my best friend. All I can do is take care of myself and perhaps she might see that people can really be happy with out getting trashed. I'm feeling good and that is all that matters in Sola's world!(And the MWO World) Stay strong everyone! Not being drunk, hungover, or both is a good thing!

Sola

[YoungAtHeart]

Wednesday, September 6th

Right on Sola!

[happycamper68]

Wednesday, September 6th

Day 3

Last night I fell asleep so early I could hardly believe it and like Kathy said, I'm a "chronic insomniac" like Pansy and I am not even working. My body just must be so stressed from releasing all of these yucky toxins. Anyway
my daughter starts a special preschool tomorrow for her autism so I am stressing about that but feel great to be able to prepare her with a clear head. I have my Sharpie ready to put her name on all her little belongings with a steel hand and not a shaky one. Still stressed though. :upset:

[mikeupnorth]

Wednesday, September 6th

Good morning neighbors (that's neighbours to those of you across the Pond! LOL),

Waking up here with a wonderful cuppa (as Liz would say) on Day 6 for me and Pansy. And I must agree with Gina -- it's great to wake up with a clear conscience, free of guilt. I can remember everything I did and said last night! And for several nights prior to that..... wow! This is great!

I, like a couple of others, am noticing that I am sleeping A LOT. Yesterday, for instance, I took an hour's nap when I got home.... then got up, had some dinner, putzed about, then slept from 10 PM until 6 AM. And this was solid, dead-to-the-world sleep. I'm wondering if it's the topa? I just titrated up to 150 mg about a week ago. Or my body just needs the rest, and can finally get it, now that it's not being filled (and I do mean filled) with booze every other night? Or maybe it's the lingering effects of the infection & oral surgery a week ago. Perhaps a combination. Anyway I'm not worried, and I love to sleep. I just don't want to sleep like this from now on.... the dishes will pile up and cobwebs will take over all around me! For now, though, if it's what my body calls for, I'll do it. I'm curious, though, if anyone else had this experience early on and if it passed.

As for the topic-- doing this for ourselves, even if those around us aren't ready to change -- yeah, that can be a tough one. Easy to grasp with the brain, but harder with the heart. It's kind of like realizing that you and your loved ones have been trapped in a prison (without realizing it) for years. You are finally shown the truth of the situation, and given the key. You open the door and explore the outside world. You come back and tell your loved ones all about how beautiful it is out there and ask them to be free with you. But they'll have none of it -- either because they are comfortable in their cell and afraid to leave it, or because they don't even believe they are in prison. You're tempted to linger and try to convince them otherwise. The thing is, at one point we were in their position too, and no one could have convinced us otherwise. So they have to come out in their own time. All we can do is be happy, joyous and free (to borrow a phrase from AA) and maybe they will see that and want what we've got... The important thing is not to forget that we ARE already free, not to let ourselves become imprisoned again. The wiring is still there in our brains that lets us see what we want to see -- and when that happens we're heading back to our prison cells. That's why we have to keep our focus on ourselves and our goals, rather than on the other person -- it's too easy to get sucked back into their world and that's no good for anyone.

OK I'm not sure if dopa has me mixing metaphors or using run-on sentences or splitting infinitives or any of that. Good thing I'm not in school now!

Hope you all have a great day out there... I'll be checking in from time to time. You guys are keeping me strong right now.... and this is my longest stint without alcohol in... well I can't remember how long. :thanks:

[gabby]

Wednesday, September 6th

Oh man.....look at these posts!
And Brigid....What I cant believe is it afternoon for you...your confused...(me too, nothing new) and YOUR THE EARLYBIRD WINNER! Can ya get a load of that? So.....hummmm let me think here. Congrat's your the proud winner of....still thinking....OK got it. Since your one of the OLD TIMERS here in Absville and ya get to drift in and out cuz ya got a real good hold on yourself like you mentioned above. The City Council just approved a Super Deluxe Travel Motor Home so ya could Snow Bird in and out like you like to do. (Dang that City of Ab's got's some bucks for this one! Bambs, I'm with you...wonderin if I'm ever gonna get anything.)
The catch is that ya gotta be willing to swing by and give the rest of us folks a ride every now and then for special occasions like Mikes Party.
Anyway, I hear ya on others slippin. I dont have as much time as you, but I have a strange kinda hurt when I read about a slip. Almost like it was me that did it. Dont know whats up with that? Maybe that I'm not out of the forest yet....yikes...anther yet.

Pansy, Very Happy Day 6 to ya . Glad your tired. Catch up if ya can. Ya never know if its gonna come back again. Oh...bright and jolly me. Arent you glad I threw in that cheery thought.

Bambs!.....I am soooo happy for you. You sound so great! I'll even let ya be a grouch. Its Day 8 for you I think. Keep on goin girl! And look how busy you are. Dang you do more than most men! lol....oh gosh....my mean side is comin out...stopping

Gina, I need to get in chat more often. Just have to fight for the computer with the little darlings. Glad your feeling good. Happy day 9 to ya. And yummos....bannana nut bread is one of my fav's. I'm just not a cook. So there's maybe an issue.

Jenn, same for you. I just think being busy helps so much. Wow....daughter in her first apartment. I havent thought about that concept. I mean theres kindergarten, junior high, then high school senior and college. So I bet the apartment thing has some real mixed emotions with it too. Proud, excited, not to mention a wee bit scared. oohh Ok....I'll work on stayin cheery on this one. Well....good for you....still ab's!

Kathy! Loved readin your post. Good friends are certainly hard to find. Ya gotta hold on to em when ya have em. Can sure be tricky too. I have had some that I have just had to leave behind. Sometimes when recovery is forced to be a choice between that or the friendship.....well, need I say more?
Thanks for the encouragement on mayor too. But the truth is Kath....I miss your opening posts.

Happy, I think getting the kids in school IS stressful. I always worried about their needs being meet during the day. In all kinds of ways. Little ways, big ways. And gotta be more so for you havin your daughter with more special needs then my crazy toads. My oldest had learning disablities, much that he has worked through, but oh the worry that the teachers and school staff wouldn't know what he needed and be able to meet those needs. I can say I understand a little at least some of the stress that you are feelin. But also...I know if ya didn't have that stress....me, I would find something to stress about anyway. The beginning of school is just stressful. Mixed with other emotions, some joy and excitement....but all adds up to stress. Know that I'm thinkin about ya with smiley hugs!

I've been sorta stressed myself too lately. In fact....last night I seriously almost ordered a beer when I was out. If I would have I know it would have been only one...but still just the thought ordering it. Well....I didnt. But scary that it was right there on the tip of my tounge. I maybe on 92 days....but still far from being out of the woods. (I think I said forest last night..lol) And all cuz I was stressed and with my X. Some kid stuff too. I wonder when I will stop connecting stress and beer.

So the deal is guys.....we sure all gotta keep on workin at this. Our desire to fall back on drinkin to deal with ourselves and our daily lives may never really go away. There is anther reason why abs in better than mods. Just keeps us stronger and more solid. I was actually told that by someone recently.(my X) That I seemed more solid than ever before. Humm....could that have anything to do with 92 days of abs?
Ok...traveling today and I wont be back till this evening.
Post me out guys....I'll be back!
love ya all,gabbs
Where is Lou, Lou?

[gabby]

Wednesday, September 6th

Mike I missed you.Happy day 6 to you. I didnt know you had knowze surgery. Ahhh...hope you are doin ok.
Yes, I do think its the topa. Maybe try to skip the nap in the day and you might sleep better at night. That is one of the tings I love about the topa. I sleep sooo good at night. I would LIKE to take a rest during the day but cant. At bed time I am ready to drop. But the dragginess during the day got better. Are you tirating up to fast tho?
I loved your prison illustration. Couldnt fit better. Your a good writer! Glad your here in absville with us. We need your input.
Have a good day all. Gabby

[lushy]

Wednesday, September 6th

Hi, It is your irregular regular checking in. I was AF last night and feel much better today. Great job Gabby on not ordering that beer. I woke up this morning almost with a start wondering if was going to be hungover (how pathetic is that?) and then this feeling of massive relief washed over me as I realized I had not given in last night. Tonight will be another AF one for me as well. All of you in absville have my admiration! Keep up the good work.

Happy Camper, you are in my thoughts and I wish the best for you and your daughter. I would be an emotional mess and I hope you love her school so you will feel more comfortable with such a big transition!!!