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tawnyfrog
September 9th, 2006, 05:16 PM
FOR THOSE WHO ENJOY LANGUAGE (OR SEVERE DISTORTIONS THEREOF):



-- Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

-- A backward poet writes inverse.

-- A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

-- Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

-- Practice safe eating - always use condiments.

-- Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

-- A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

-- A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

-- Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

-- Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

-- Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

-- Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

-- When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

-- A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

-- What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)

-- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

-- In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

-- She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

-- A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

-- If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

-- With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

-- When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

-- The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

-- You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

-- Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

-- He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

-- Every calendar's days are numbered.

-- A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.

-- A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

-- He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

-- A plateau is a high form of flattery.

-- A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium
at large.

-- Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the
end.
-- Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

-- Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

-- Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

-- Acupuncture is a jab well done

Mackeral
September 9th, 2006, 07:21 PM
I'm still laughing at the fruit flies one...:H

Saint Jude
September 10th, 2006, 03:30 AM
TKS!! Love em!:H :l ...Judie

Bambino
September 10th, 2006, 05:34 AM
Brilliant -- :H

mojomuppet
September 10th, 2006, 10:44 AM
small medium at large,horray still laughing!

MKR
September 11th, 2006, 03:58 PM
Thanks Tawny - those are a hoot!

YoungAtHeart
September 13th, 2006, 11:36 PM
Well done, Miss Money Penny!