Slipped up and lied to wife about it..

[livedit]

Now I am a liar and she wants to leave..

Sobered up in March after a year of very heavy drinking. Slipped up while up north this weekend.. she is saying the "D" word.

Sobriety is hard.. I know slips are harder. I liezad to her then admitted it.

If anyone has been there.. lets me know..

BTW I am still up north and she says does not want me home till she decides and says she's going to move out..

I don't see myself as a liar or a bad man..

Comments?

[~iirene~]

Slipped up and lied to wife about it..

why bother lying? you drank, so what.

geesh, your wife is not very understanding.

is there something she needs to quit?

[Seacailin]

Slipped up and lied to wife about it..

I am so sorry for your troubles. Alcohol was a big part of my getting divorced, but there were also other issues that were his. Perhaps your wife does not understand alcoholism and addiction. Is she willing to try Al-anon, or something else to expand her learning and be supportive of you? Recovery is a process, not an event. Please let us know how you get on.:l

[livedit]

Slipped up and lied to wife about it..

Thanks both of you.. I can do better.. and you're right, it is a process.. the lying.. that is the disease working. Of course you'd deny it..

I kust don't consider myself a liar..

But I did.. I denied it. I am working on sobriety. One day at a time and I missed a day. Today, yesterday and the day before I was sober and tomorrow God willing I am sober.

[Seacailin]

Slipped up and lied to wife about it..

We are sick people, not bad people. Sending u strength.

[livedit]

Slipped up and lied to wife about it..

Thanks that does make me put it a little more in perspective. All crisis pass.

[brittzak]

Slipped up and lied to wife about it..

Bad things happen to good people and good people to bad things, BUT that does not make you bad FOREVER!!!!! To your wife, she may be tired of living with someone that drinks...HER CHOICE.... It is time to work on YOU!!!! The fact is sometimes we lose things due to our drinking...sad reality of alcoholism. BUT, doesn't mean your life is over. You can and will recover...maybe with your wife, maybe without her. You can only change YOU!!!!

[livedit]

Slipped up and lied to wife about it..

Thanks for that one too Britz. I can only control my actions.. not hers.. the only perfect one walked on wayer and they crucified him

[~iirene~]

Slipped up and lied to wife about it..

I don;t think we are sick people, that is rather harsh.
we have a tendency to 'reach' for alcohol. there are many reasons why we do or did that.
i found years of un-happiness made me drink.
after a major meltdown and some trouble, i found out who i was.
who i am matters today, not my spouse, kids or anyone.
i fix me first, until then, no-one knows how i feel.
as long as I or any alkie admits and gets help, 1/2 the work is done.

[~iirene~]

Slipped up and lied to wife about it..

Spirituality-is best, if you can listen and want.
AA offers this on Tuesdays in my area, i love it.
i can't go much working, it's my favorite meeting.
Discussion after a reading, you have to try it.
Today i see many AA buds at my work centre, they are my friends for LIFE.

Please try some meetings. :thanks:

[Zeppie2]

Slipped up and lied to wife about it..

Hi Liveit - can you explain to your wife why you told fibs? I know I hid my drinking from all my family and partner because I knew it was wrong and I was embarrassed by my lack of self control. Otherwise I would not have hid drinks in the bathroom so I could chug down a couple of beers in the shower or drink beer from a coffee cup incase someone came to the door or have powerade laced with vodka when I was out in public.

Explain to her why you lied, it might help.

[~iirene~]

Slipped up and lied to wife about it..

Zeppie2;696101 wrote: Hi Liveit - can you explain to your wife why you told fibs? I know I hid my drinking from all my family and partner because I knew it was wrong and I was embarrassed by my lack of self control. Otherwise I would not have hid drinks in the bathroom so I could chug down a couple of beers in the shower or drink beer from a coffee cup incase someone came to the door or have powerade laced with vodka when I was out in public.

Explain to her why you lied, it might help.

Zep, i love that RAT Terrier Avatar! is that your baby?

Self-control, thats my problem, sober oar nott.

:thanks:

[livedit]

Slipped up and lied to wife about it..

You are right

Zeppie2;696101 wrote: Hi Liveit - can you explain to your wife why you told fibs? I know I hid my drinking from all my family and partner because I knew it was wrong and I was embarrassed by my lack of self control. Otherwise I would not have hid drinks in the bathroom so I could chug down a couple of beers in the shower or drink beer from a coffee cup incase someone came to the door or have powerade laced with vodka when I was out in public.

Explain to her why you lied, it might help.

That is it. That's it exactly. To the non-aliens out there however they don't see it that way at least I don't think she does.. You are right however.

[Guest]

Slipped up and lied to wife about it..

livedit;696952 wrote: That is it. That's it exactly. To the non-aliens out there however they don't see it that way at least I don't think she does.. You are right however.

I would lie because I wanted them the hear what they wanted to hear and not what they didn't want to hear.

Most of the persons in my life seemed oblivious to my reality anyway. It seemed they liked to have confirmation of what they preferred. I gave it to them.

Plus, it allowed me (mostly) to continue doing what I wanted to do and what they seemed most upset and disappointed about. Drink.

[Derek HW]

Slipped up and lied to wife about it..

Crikey. Are there problems between you anyway? Is she looking for an excuse? One slip-up since March. Was it a wild bender, an orgy of drinking?
Not very supportive of her.
You lied. We all lie - large or small. To protect ourselves and to protect others.
You are not a bad person. You did a silly thing. Like we all do. It is going to hurt you a lot more than it will hurt her. She has options. You don't feel you do. Just keep away from situations when you can slip up. If she's good at monitoring you and you want to be supervised then stick with her and don't go far.