Announcement

**Mary Anne** · September 11, 2006, 09:02 AM

Monday September 11th

good morning!!

Sorry I missed everyone this weekend, but I had a wonderful one......went on a 4 hour ride yesterday (boy a I sore!!) And the horse I looked at was not a good candidate, lame back leg.......anyway, will try to got AF today, didi drink over the weekend(imagine that!! Imagine, we all screw up occaisionally, but at least aren't chastised (spelling???) for it! I was in AA for years and felt like the biggest LOSER!! You ar in the right place you need to be right now, am going to 75 today on the topa too!!

I love these boards and the gals on them!!

Have a great day everyone,I will try to check in later on today, have a busy one!

Love and hugs,

Mary Anne:l :h

**Mary Anne** · September 11, 2006, 09:24 AM

Monday September 11th

By the way

Trish happy lat birthday:h Sepnne, (spelling?):welcome: Sorry I missed the weekend, looks like you guys had a ball, I was just tooooooo busy, just got done reading them though, so wanted to add those greetings!:l

Love ya!

Mary Anne

**lushy** · September 11, 2006, 09:28 AM

Monday September 11th

Hey Soccermom, GREAT job on not drinking last night. You sound like me where something just sort of clicked and you decided not to. Didn't sound like you were white knuckling it. Were you like me where you did not want your family to notice but at the same time you wanted to say, "hey, everybody look. Mommy is not carrying around a glass of wine everywhere she goes. Make a mental note please!!".

Anyhow today will be AF for me. Sepnine, doing this program may help with the cravings but it does not turn you off to alcohol by any means so, yes, for me at least I have to set goals and plans because between 4-8 every day I would love some wine, not because of physical cravings but more for psychological ones. This program is not a quick fix. You need to WANT to be cutting down or quitting for it to really work for you. That has been my experience anyhow. Have a good day everyone!

**InnerStrength** · September 11, 2006, 10:00 AM

Monday September 11th

Hello all
Hope all is well. We are working a half day today and then everyone here at work is off for a company-golf-day. Fun right? Well, I am NERVOUS because I dont know how to golf AT ALL - oh well, I am probably being hard on myself, hopefully I won't make too much of an arse of myself!
Had one drink last night and had no problem stopping after that. Just didnt really feel like anymore after that one. Had a nice cuddly night with hubby and kitten watching tv and snacking (yep i said it!) on junk food....
Well, I am off to try to get SOME work done anyways before we go and try to hit some balls on the green
Love ya all
jen

**lushy** · September 11, 2006, 10:05 AM

Monday September 11th

Cringing

Okay, so I needed to share this really embarassing story that I cannot share with anyone else. Ugh! I am sure some of you remember the school BBQ at my daughter's school I went to last week that I was dreading because I think I cannot function with being social without a little "prefunction" and then there is always wine at these things (because we are good Catholics after all!). So I had two glasses before I left and then discovered when I got there that there was no wine. Well, I had helped with the summer BBQ and I knew for a fact that there was a ton of boxed wine leftover that they put in a closet somewhere so they could bring it out at other events such as the one last week. When I got there another wine drinking mom said she wanted a glass of wine so I went to the head parent and jokingly, although probably a bit demanding, asked where the wine was, let's get it out of that closet, we want wine, blah, blah, blah. I really tried to broach it in a funny fashion (but remember I am socially inept and should not be let out of the house). Anyhow, I let it drop after that, the wine never showed up (which was better for me anyhow) and then the night ended. I just now got an e-mail from that parent saying she was sorry she had not gotten back to me but that the priest had decided that night was to be alcohol-free but that she passed along my comments about wanting wine and so there will be some at this weeks Parent's meeting. I WANT TO CRAWL UNDER A ROCK!!!! I absolutely will not be drinking wine at the meeting this week although I know I have already set myself up with the reputation of being a drinker. I really could die. Please someone, say something to make me feel better. I am just sitting her beet red with a pit in my stomach. Me and my big antisocial mouth!!!!

**MKR** · September 11, 2006, 11:00 AM

Monday September 11th

Good morning all you wonderful mods! Our numbers for September are astounding!!

Note from the Universe this morning: ( I really think that planning and visualizing who we want to be is a really great start.)

--------------------------
Yeah, there are times when I'm HOT, and there are times when I'm just plain, smokin' HOT.

And the latter happens when you not only visualize with emotion, but you then physically move with your dreams as if you knew of their imminent, inevitable arrival.

Thoughts become things,
*****The Universe

--------------------------------

Almost too many here to keep up individually anymore but sure want to.

Welcome Sepnine!

I think a lot of the mods here are finding that the challenging part of the program is finding that place where you do plan ahead because it is so much a HABIT for many of us. Just a week or so ago, Jen posted a drink diary per se that I think would keep you in touch with why you want that drink and what are the triggers that cause it to happen. You were asking if anyone did it without the topa, I am not taking topa but taking the all one pretty religiously, the supps pretty religiously while I was getting through the rough patches and exercising along with the CDs. I have not had tons of time with both parents in the hospital over the last couple months. So exercise went out the window and CDs did also but I can get to that calm place the CDs provided for me while using them daily for a month or so back in June.

Trish, I knew you could do this, you had just hit a rough patch a few weeks ago but now you are on the road to greatness!

Soccermom Mary, yes try going a night or two at first dong the homework deal sans wine, I know you can and I know that once you put it off til late, no reason to have a drink. congrats on AF nights that you have had recently.

Lush, really that parent could have told you that it was an AF event. You would have stopped mid sentence and not gone on about it. You are right, take the L glut and kudzu and go to the evening making it one of your AF nights. Ignore the wine around you, YOU CAN DO THIS!! It will look like she blew you comments out of proportion and maybe she did. These are things you can get past. I applaud you for being so honest! We are all behind you on this!

Dilayne, I found my husband really kind of upped the ante when he found out I was doing this program. He really didn't want to see those positive changes in me. I have tried hard not to be judgmental with him at all, I think his fear was if I change my habits, he will have to change his . . . so I just go do my own thing towards sobriety.

Now here is some weird stuff that has happened lately. Over two years ago, my doctor put me on high blood pressure meds. My mom has been on them since she was 40. (My son did a high blood pressure clinic/testing program last year with one of his professors, he said, Mom, I think it is not a physical thing for you as much a mental thing . . . His exact quote, "You and Grandma are like two little shaky Chihuahuas, you don't really know how to unwind and relax." While this was quite funny to hear about my mom and I could totally relate that to her . . that was tough to hear in regards to me turning into my mom . . .AAGGHH!! anyway the last few weeks I have had times where I feel like I am ready to pass out, often mid morning. It happened enough that I pulled out my blood pressure monitor the other day and started taking my pressure, it was quite low, so I renewed this months HBP supply but have found that I may not take it anymore. I am listing the times of day and going to take it to my doctor. Without my HBP meds this past week the highest it has been overall on an evening was 119 / 75. More like it use to be. NOW, ladies, do you suppose that drinking may have brought it way up a couple years ago, do you think the exercise which I have not had much of a chance in the past month, or the CD's which has allowed me to be calmer in general have helped bring it back down?

I have to look at that as a positive piece of health benefits and in all this time I have not lost but pound or so but I have lost a lot of inches around my waist and a few around my hips in particular. So sometimes when I am on the fence as to whether to be AF or have some drinks I think about the cute outfits that I can fit back in so nicely and decide water taste pretty darn good! (OK, call it vanity but whatever helps do it, I will take it!!)

Sepnine, I also must say coming to the boards and being honest has been a huge help in keeping me sane and keeping me sober!

Laura, Judie, Jen, Patti, Mary Anne, Rachele, Mary 8305, Becca, Waves 2, Not Powerless hope you all have a wonderful day and great week.

Hugs and Love to each of you,
Mary

**MKR** · September 11, 2006, 11:09 AM

Monday September 11th

Thought that was all right??

Yes, thoughts and prayers to all who lost family members during the attacks of 9/11. My attorney, father in law was in court 2 blocks away, he saw people jumping. He is fairly vocal kind of guy and does NOT discuss that day. He lost his biz partner and some close friends. it was a tough time for all Americans and New Yorkers in particular.

XOXOXO,
Mary

**lushy** · September 11, 2006, 11:10 AM

Monday September 11th

Thanks for your somewhat reassuring words Mary. I am still cringing and puzzled as to why she had to e-mail me with it. That was last week and it was not like I threatened her; I was teasing really. What a weird e-mail to get. And a big huge yes that I believe your HBP was due to drinking. It is proven fact that too much alcohol can effect people who are predisposed to HBP, high cholesterol, etc. Great job on not abusing your body anymore!!! Definitely talk to your doctor ASAP about going off of your meds, or at least changing the dose, as you do not want to pass out from it being too low. I am so discouraged about not losing any weight but am encouraged to hear you are losing inches. Maybe I will start seeing that soon.

**MKR** · September 11, 2006, 11:35 AM

Monday September 11th

Dear Lush,

People come with their own agendas Lush, maybe this woman is trying to be just too darn good in front of all school peers.

I am certain, you will lose over time, pounds and / or inches.

The weird part of my HBP, I was on the lowest dose of HBP medication and I have always had low triglycerides, cholestrol, blood sugar, thryroid, temp (usually run about 96.9) etc. Now unfortunately even low bone density, but that's another story!

XOXOXO,
Mary

**dilayne** · September 11, 2006, 11:35 AM

Monday September 11th

Monday, Monday...
Well, I stayed Alcohol free all weekend except that Friday night...and man..PMS. I laid low all weekend. It’s not always bad, but I’m getting good at tuning it..trying to catch it before it blind sides me, so I just kind of checked in and when I felt it coming on last night and my husband starting ticking me off, I just checked out..went to ‘my room’ and retired early. It’s a lot better than boing bolistic..for me anyway. Before I decided to do the MyWayOut, I was documenting my binges and the big ones came a week before my period, so I’ve become pretty conscious..I’ll allow my bottle of wine during that time, which I did Friday night..no guilt..but didn’t make it an all weekender..and I’m glad I didn’t..and that I was able to just keep a distance from my beloved ‘trigger’ :0) Mary, you are right about the husband..once you begin the change the dynamics in your relationship..it does make the ‘other’ uncomfortable..they seem to want to pull you back in to their comfort zone..and I’ll be the first to run back myself..I observe us teeter totter...it is two steps forward one step back..but he is coming along as well..funny thing is is that when I keep the distance and I don’t drink..he is less likely to drink as much also..he, like me, didn’t drink for most of the time we’ve been married..we just opened pandora’s box recently and now are grappling with her for some known and unknown reasons...I being the more conscious one [hey, I’m a woman aren’t ??] most of the time..

Anyway, I may have said it before but I’ve changed my work schedule to 11:00-5:30 so that I can attend two yoga classes a week at the YMCA starting this week..I need that!...so I can walk my dogs in the morning..so that I can take care of myself and my home..so that I can have the time to give my art time to grow..it’s all going well..

To the newcomers..I’m on about week 13. I was a binge drinker..I was concerned about alcoholism years ago so stopped for about 17..resumed again when the baby went to college..found that it was hard to manage, but didn’t want to abstain, so I found MyWayOut..my goal is moderation, no more than 3 or 4 drinks at a time, no more than 3 days a week. I’m at 175mg of Topamax and I do the full program by the book..I like the holistic approach of the program so I do the program totally and I find it works best that way personally. I’ve found over the course of 3 months that when I slack on one or more parts of the program, it loses it’s affectiveness..I’ve decided to stay on the Topamax for a while longer, especially since the side effects have subsided..they really sucked for a while and I wanted to quit using it...but they have been worth it...I can totally take the wine or leave it most of the time now!

Have an awesome day ladies...

**lushy** · September 11, 2006, 12:09 PM

Monday September 11th

Dilayne, I am impressed not just that you made it through a weekend AF but that you also had PMS!!! Don't know if I could do that, although I agree it is probably the smarter choice. And I totally understand about the "beloved trigger". My husband is a great man but is STUPID when it comes to PMS. Pat yourself on the back big time!!!

**dilayne** · September 11, 2006, 12:21 PM

Monday September 11th

Hi Lush,
LOL, I actually think that my husband has been smarter than me when it has come to the PMS..he has always known not to take me personally and to stay out of my way..I've just recently learned to pay attention to my body and to really tune in and 'lay low' during that time..it was an accomplishment this weekend, so I will take the pat on the back and say THANK YOU

) ..I did eat my chocolate cake last night..which I rarely do anymore..especially since being on the Topamax! Sweet compromises!

**Guest** · September 11, 2006, 12:49 PM

Monday September 11th

Hello everyone on this somber 9/11.

Just quickly checking in. Thanks for the ginormous welcome back, Jen! Lush, yeah, don't worry about that wine at the parents meeting thing (easier said than done, I know). Just go about your business and no one needs to know any more about it. People are too busy worrying about themselves to worry about you ESPECIALLY if you are not partaking and NOT drunk!
Welcome Step!:welcome:
My plan worked great for Saturday (my moderation plan) so thanks for letting me write it down here. I stuck to it to a "T" Even drank 3.2 percent alcohol beer instead of real beer to cut back the alcohol even further!. Awesome personal best time run on Sunday morning for 8 miles! Since yesterday was my birthday though, I did celebrate with some VERY yummy red wine that hubby bought for me. It was the Hitching Post Pinot from the movie "Sideways"! He actually found it and bought it for me! It was DELICIOUS if you can find it (sorry, I'm sure I should not be promoting wine here....ooopppsie). I do have a headache today, in appropriate topa style. (YES, the topa gives you worse hangovers, Mary!) Good job sticking to 3 drinks though and being AF during the week. That's awesome. Stick with it!

I'll be around for a while this time again. Won't go disappearing

**Saint Jude** · September 11, 2006, 01:36 PM

Monday September 11th

Hi Everybody

... Thoughts & prayers, going out to everyone on this day of rememberance:l ... Still hard to grasp.:h

Well yesterday, I guess I came kinda close to being "Bear Bait!" I was out on the river w/my doggie & stopped to pick some berries & flowers @ this one little beach. Before I got off of my kayak, I noticed a bunch of fresh tracks coming down the hill out of the trees to the river. I couldn't tell what they were, because of the soft sand, but there was a lot of them & fresh. I had a funny feeling, but I really wanted these flowers that were right there... I usually let my dog run along the bank when I stop, but for some reason I kept him on the boat. After picking flowers & berries, I got back on kayak, paddled back to truck, & was loading up to go. About 15 min later a fisherman came zipping up in his boat, to tell me they'd been watching a Mother bear & 2 cubs...right there where I was!!! For the past 2 days!! They were camping across the river from where I was! He told me to make sure & make some noise if I stop along there again ... so as not to suprise Moma Bear!! Thank God I had my stereo on my kayak!! And thank God I didn't let Bungee go runnin along the river right there!!

I'd love to see Moma & babies!! But from the river... not up tooo close!!

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