fragile

[beagle]

what am I but another bunch of words,written in a forum,on a website out of millions?
I don't know why but am feeling brittle emotionally & quite alone. Not lonely,but alone.
My husband has gone out for the evening & for me it's like the lid off the jar,things bubble up & overflow. Mostly tears & sadness.
I don't miss my husband when he goes out, I tend to feel relieved that he's gone for the night so I can have a cry in private. I am SO private in my emotions.
I've had half a valium & will try to go to bed rather than scoff the rest of the packet. Blasted valium is so short acting,it never works anyway.
God, I wish someone was in my time frame here for a response.

[one2many]

fragile

Hey Beaglebabe...I am here hon.

[beagle]

fragile

Thanks One2....I just feel like absolutely bawling.I tend to find that I'm so in control in front of bloody everybody that as soon as I'm alone,I can finally let it all out.
I feel so .....old, used up,dessicated,like a deflated balloon skin that was at last week's birthday party.

[Wally22]

fragile

Beagle, you still up? Want to go on chat?

[Wally22]

fragile

Oops cross posted, offer still stands
Beagle sometimes we all feel used up. You need a little pamper time. Just a wonderful quiet soothing time. Do you have any of the hypno CD's.
"Why not book yourself a massage. You will feel soooooo relaxed.

[beagle]

fragile

just popped my head in chat wally 22 - not a bugger there. Yep I'll go in, need someone to talk to. I'll god in for a bit now.

[one2many]

fragile

Hey Girl, I have been there..honestly.....

I have so many masks that i wear...one for the kids, one for hubby, one for friends and one for family...but when I come here I can take it off and bawl and rant and moan and I will know that the others here will listen and more importantly understand because they have been there too.

Having a good cry can be cleansing......get it all out but DON'T let it drag you down to the depths..use it to get out all the bad stuff but don't let it block out the good.

Focus maybe on a plan for yourself......things you are going to do differently, things you are going to change to make your life better......put it down on paper, make a list of the things that make you happy..or used to before the booze got in the way.

There is a way out of this hon...I promise, but you need to make the first step..realise what you want and go about getting it with little baby steps and then the woman you once were will begin to emerge..happy and smiling...

I am here for you every step of the way..pm me anytime....we can do this together....

You are WORTH it.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[beagle]

fragile

thanks One2 - lovely words that make me want to cry a little but then I see the size of your arse & I smile instead.
I reckon I might need some help in the coming days so I will take you up on the offer of a shoulder to lean on/a hand to pull me up so thanks again,& goodnight for the time being.