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Eve11
September 14th, 2009, 02:26 PM
This is designed for moderators so for those of you who are AF, please disregard the statements that apply to occasional drinking.

1. Make your plan
We all know how important this is. Make a plan if you are planning on drinking. If you take supps take them on planned drinking occasions. Many studies have shown that L-glut (especially) can reduce cravings.

2. Start with a non - al beverage (especially if it's going to be a long night). At a party I hosted recently I didn't allow myself to have a glass of wine until the food was served. In the past I would have been sipping the minute the guests arrived. We've all heard to drink slow- have a non-al beverage in between. Be prepared for non-al beverages (especially if you are going to someone else's home) as they may not think to offer water/ seltzers etc. in between drinks.

3. Be careful of what images of drinking you allow yourself to see before you take that first or next drink. Rather than picturing the relaxed nice buzz feeling image - concentrate on how you feel the next day - imagine how you look with blood shot eyes or puffy or tired eyes from too little sleep. Remember how you feel, anxious, depressed, possibly humiliated or remorseful.

4. Learn to procrastinate. If you have the urge for that 1st drink and don't want it or the drink that should be your last one and you want another - think to yourself "I'll just sip some water/seltzer, etc. and wait 15 min. Keep trying to wait it out until the urge passes.

5. Use distraction. Get busy with a task, physical activity, or some type of mental pursuit that gets your mind off of drinking. Turn to someone for help! Come to MWO - go to the chat room, call an understanding friend.

6. Picture yourself with a caption underneath your name. I like to put the caption of what an Uncle said to my husband about me once "She should hear herself on a tape recorder when she's been drinking". Not nice - but could work from preventing that first or last drink I shouldn't have.

7. Substitute an image other than alcohol. Picture yourself with a tall glass of seltzer with grenadine and a lime twist.

8. Figure out your triggers and avoid them when able. My trigger is drinking at home. Not a good idea for me to open a bottle of wine thinking I'll have only one or two at the most as in the past I have failed doing that. I can go out (hubby drives) and have one or two and be fine but the bottle at home doesn't work for me. Record when things haven't worked for you and don't repeat the behavior.

9. Use the ignoring technique. Just as you ignore a child having a temper tantrum so you're not rewarding the bad behavior by giving it attention (even negative attention) ignore the thoughts of having a first or last drink but just repeating ignore, ignore or just say STOP!

10. Learn meditation which can help you control your thoughts. Use a mantra that helps you. AA has some good ones and encourages members to use: "One day at a time" "This too shall pass", "Easy does it", etc.

If all else fails, remember the negative consequences script. This is the one where you must replay in your head those memories of when you yelled at the kids because you were drunk or hungover and wouldn't have done that if you had remained sober, the time you had a fight with your S.O. because alcohol was involved, the time you woke up and couldn't remember what you had done the night before and were embarrassed by what you had said or done to someone, something you did wrong morally because your inhibitions were lowered. Really give yourself the memories before you take that first or last drink and say to yourself Is it worth it?

Hugs,
Eve11

akgirl
September 14th, 2009, 02:41 PM
Wonderful post!!

I'm printing it now...thank you.

:l
Ak

DeeBee
September 15th, 2009, 01:48 AM
What a fantastic post Eve!!
Thank you so much for taking the time to share -- this is just what I needed.
I too have printed it out.
Love Dee

ronnie
September 15th, 2009, 02:58 AM
Thanks Eve, your post has been a great help

one2many
September 15th, 2009, 03:03 AM
This is a great post Eve..thanks for sharing.

Sunbeam
September 15th, 2009, 04:48 AM
Thanks bunches for this, Eve. My favorite strategy is to just drink less. The less you drink on an occasion, the less you will go over your limit. The less you drink during a week, the less likely you will be to go over your limit on a different day. The less often you drink during a month....

mooderator
September 16th, 2009, 10:02 AM
All excellent reminders....great post. x

Eve11
October 31st, 2009, 06:58 PM
Sarasmiles,
Bumping this one up for you for tonight.:bump:

Eve11
December 17th, 2009, 10:01 PM
Lagrl & Bear73,
Bumping this one for you!
:l
Eve11

bear73
December 18th, 2009, 12:51 PM
thank you - does help i am drinking tomorrow and sunday but not today - max 3 drinks tomorrow and same sunday.
will report back on progress - hopefully finished work for 2 weeks today - tho may have to go in or be called up.

zed
December 18th, 2009, 11:47 PM
Hello there my dear old friends, Eve 11, Sunbeam, and lil' sis Deebee!

I received a notice to some thread that I guess I have been subscribed to, in which there was some recent activity, and that brought me back on here... it's been a looooooong time.

Thought I'd come in to see what was up with the old Mod Squad... looks like a lot of the old crew has moved on... but still some of you guys here, which is so nice to see, not to mention that the Mod Squad remains alive and kicking with new peeps around.

Miss you guys, and hope that you and your families are all well these days, going into the new year season.

I am still in Beijing, but I plan to re-locate to India early next year, with a little luck. It's cold as all-hell here in Beijing these days... thinking of Deebs who must be sweating in the high summer months in SA! What a strange round ball of a world we live in, isn't it?!

Anyway, as an update: my moderation has been pretty good the last few months. Earlier this year, my partner and better half finally moved here full-time. So we have been together and that has helped me curb my appetite for blitzing out a whole lot, since she isn't much of a drinker.

I still have my drink in the evening... but it's the glass of wine (or two, sure). And not every evening... it's more like, every other evening. So, an evening off every couple of days... which means 3-4 nights a week with a drink or two on those nights. On the non-AL drinking evening, I replace the wine or the 2 glasses of single malt, with cups of green tea instead... and it feels good that way.

I guess what's also important is that thanks to my better half being around and cooking and taking care of me, etc, not being left to my bachelor ways, I eat well, good home-cooked, healthy food, and I eat a lot of fruit, as well as drink juice, etc. So that goes a long way to make me feel better, and I really haven't had a big hangover in ages... fruit and lots of non-AL fluids during the day. For me, I feel this mkes all the difference, and I feel cuts down the "overwhelming" desire to sink into too much wine when the evening comes around.

So moderation IS working for me. I get my buzz on, yes, but I stop with the buzz. Mostly. And that's really nice. And it's something I can live with.

Love you guys. Take good care. I'll try to check in sometimes... I have wanted to, but my life just got busy, and I stare at the computer all day long as it is with work and the world of email and being in touch with family/ friends (since I live away from them)... which is why I've been away, cutting down time in front of the comp as much as I can.

Time is the greatest gift.

Merry Christmas to you all, wise, lovely people. Have a healthy holiday season, and a wonderful new year. Filled with patience, and more wisdom.

Zed

Sunbeam
December 19th, 2009, 06:23 AM
ZED! We all love and miss you, it is so good to hear that you are doing well. I also am fine, but want to keep working at more AF weekends (weekdays are easy for me). You sound great, and it is always good to be in a healthy relationship (especially when it's cold out).

SKendall
December 19th, 2009, 10:04 AM
Great post, just what I needed today.

Eve11
December 27th, 2009, 12:07 AM
Zed!! (( )) Big Hugs!!!
So good to hear from you!!

Read a post today by Sarasmiles that tugged at my heartstrings and made me think of you so it was a happy co-incidence to hear from you again. It is sad when folks move on - and as I've learned my time here many different reasons occur as to why they do. Some of us oldies are winding down and not posting as much but it's a great supportive place and I hope to keep coming back even if it's not as often.

We did make it to Thailand so thank you for your p.m. last year about the country. It was fascinating!!
We put India on hold and are going to Austrailia instead in 2011 (family) and somewhere closer in 2010 like London or Scottland (just hubby and I)

My mod program continues in a positive way where I haven't had any bad problems with it other than a bad hangover here or there as I tend to overdo it at least once a month or every two. So that part is discouraging but I keep working it. I know the AFers slip too so I just pick myself back up and keep fighting the battle.

Glad to hear you and your lady are doing fine and sounds like she's bringing out the best in you!!! P.M. anytime - post here anytime. We all loved your stories that had so many word pictures and really miss that about you not being here. We've had some gems leave - that's for sure - but we keep getting new pearls so it all balances out.

Hugs,
Eve11

Delta Moon
December 28th, 2009, 09:33 PM
Eve, you ARE my guardian angel! Thanks dear friend! Good to see zed and the crew again!

lenaleed
December 31st, 2009, 12:03 AM
ZED!!! It's truly a God Thing that I dropped in on this thread. I never thought I'd get the chance to say:

You saved my life. Really. I'm not kidding. Thank you.

I kept in touch with Kid for a while after he was banned from here. I'm going to copy-and-paste this post and send it to him.

A year ago I found this site and felt right at home on the Mod Squad thread. I know it was a year because I remember getting up early posting with my morning tea. I shared as my daughter had the thrill of experiencing our President's Inauguration. Remember, she was the pretty girl who looked cold near the reflecting pool! You promised to look for her on CNN!!

I rarely come here because I have been liberated from alcohol via the Sinclair Method. I recall we share a fondness for New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc and single-malt scotch.

I didn't know where to begin finding a Way Out when I first came here. But the old Mod Squad thread was always such a safe place to begin the search. I started there. I jumped around to the other threads. I found My Way Out on the Mod Squad thread because it was such a safe, comfortable place to begin the journey, and a safe place to seek refuge when things got rough.

I love you, Zed. I'll never forget you. - Lena

mg72
January 1st, 2010, 10:45 AM
Thank you Eve for the post and starting this thread. I also printed it and will put in my "staying in control book"

Eve11
January 26th, 2010, 02:12 PM
Bumping this for our new "modders" and maybe it will entice Zed to come back and post a line or two as we all loved hearing his adventures and how well he painted his words with pictures for us.
Hugs all,
Eve11

letgolaughing
January 26th, 2010, 02:32 PM
thanks for bumping...a very nice read indeed :)

DeeBee
January 27th, 2010, 01:20 AM
I'm only seeing Zed's post now -- thanks for the bump Eve.

Eve11
May 1st, 2010, 04:00 PM
A BUMP FOR YOU!

:bump:

Bumping this thread up for NewOne and any other lurkers who are considering trying to
moderate their drinking.

:l
Eve11

PHOTOGIRL
May 6th, 2010, 11:11 PM
Thanks Eve!

Coming back to MWO after a long break ... and lots of wine :mad: and logged onto your thread - I've lost my way recently (and some would say the plot :H) and I know I have to do something about my drinking. My secret drinking (on the days when hubbie says we're not having a drink ....) has got well out of hand - I can go through a bottle of vodka a week. He's been away for a few nights this week and it's been a bottle of wine a night ...:upset:
So, now that I've learnt how to private browse on my laptop (:H) I've felt the need to re-visit MWO and hopefully get back some stability in my fight against AL.
Also, hubbie has insisted and booked me in for a Well Woman full health check which I'm convinced will have bad news .....:upset:
Your thread is just so straight forward and obvious it's like "duhh!" I especially like the picturing yourself with a caption underneath .... I'd dread what some of my family and friends would put in that caption ...
How I always face any stressful time is thinking "if I could just wake up 6 months from now ...." and have got over the hard times I'm currently facing. That's what I'm wishing now - if only I could go to sleep, wake up and then be back on track - it's getting back on track which is always difficult for me but when I do - I'm great ... like the saying goes "when good she was very very good but when she was bad she was horrid!" And, to get back on track, I need to find a substitute for wine and when I do have wine, think ahead and say "I don't want to shout at my little girls because I'm hungover and feeling crap" - that REALLY touched a sore point!
So, Eve, thanks a million for your post that I've stumbled upon - it will really make me think in the future :l

Eve11
May 7th, 2010, 01:24 AM
Welcome back photogirl!!

We look forward to learning more about you. Ruby Tuesday is where we post our weekly goals (usually Sun-Tues) and then return a week later and share how we did.

The long term moderator monthly thread is where we post our daily struggles, successes, personal stories, etc. For May this month it's entitled MAY we moderate well! A little play on words. :-)

Come join us!

:l
Eve11

Tipplerette
June 30th, 2010, 10:16 AM
Just printed it. My new moderation bible. Thanks alot.

Eve11
July 8th, 2010, 02:30 AM
You're welcome!!

Hope it helps. Remember, we're here to support you.

:l
Eve11

Eve11
February 12th, 2011, 10:15 AM
Gidget,
Bumping this one up for you as you were asking for mod tips. Don't want to re-invent the wheel so sharing some tips I put on paper for myself and others.

Good luck and enjoy your trip. We were in Hanoi last year. Crazy drivers!!!! And all of those scooters.
Stay safe.
:l
Eve11

KundaliniGirl
February 19th, 2011, 06:02 AM
:bump:

Ringing Cedars
February 19th, 2011, 10:21 AM
I printed this off a couple of weeks ago-that and reviewing my INSPIRATION 1-9 doodle map often--keeps me in a much better place now.

rebirth
April 12th, 2011, 08:47 AM
Great tips Eve!

Bean
July 16th, 2011, 11:44 PM
Thanks Eve. I think the drinking at home alone thing is definitely bad for me. Must. Be. Eliminated! How are things with you?

lifejustis
July 17th, 2011, 01:22 PM
I drink 2 to 3 glass of wine when I come home from work. I know it has turned into a habit. Im i considered a alcoholic?

Doggygirl
July 17th, 2011, 03:51 PM
Hi life. I just noticed your post and wanted to say :welcome:

I think only you can decide if alcohol is a problem for you, and if so, to what degree.

For me, the key to figuring that out was not so much about how often I drank. It was really more about what happened WHEN I drank, and what happened when I tried to NOT drink.

I reached a point where once I started, it was extremely difficult to stop. I was also not able to reliably decide when and where I would drink (or not) and how much. If I woke up and said "I'm not going to drink today," it was impossible for me to do that. I would always end up drinking anyway. If I said to myself "I will only have 1 drink tonight" - I really couldn't do that. Once I had the first one, I was going to have more even if I had decided I didn't want to.

"Loss of control" over alcohol does not necessarily mean DUIs and lost jobs and marriages. "Loss of control" to me is being unable to make a decision about AL, and stick to it. I can't stick to any decisions about AL if I drink. So therefore, I don't any more and that is the best thing I've ever done.

There are people here who have figured out how to successfully control their drinking in a reliable manner. I suggest reading a lot of posts and getting to know everyone. You will figure out what is true for you.

DG

SlipperyPete
July 17th, 2011, 11:11 PM
Hi Life. Welcome!

It's hard to tell if someone is an alcoholic or not. In AA they say that only you yourself can say for certain whether you are or not.

However, I think a good question to ask yourself is how drinking has affected your life. For many alcoholics, we spend much of our time thinking about alcohol. We'll think about how we're going to get it, how/where we'll drink it, etc. Do you plan your nights around alcohol? I couldn't socialize with people unless alcohol was involved.

Like DG said, being an alcoholic isn't defined by external events, like arrests. Many alkies never get arrested, can keep their jobs, and by all outward appearances don't seem to have a problem. Yet they are suffering on the inside. Conversely, Dick Cheney was arrested twice for DWI, yet he doesn't appear to be an alcoholic.

Feel free to ask us any more questions and let us know how you're doing!

Eve11
July 19th, 2012, 04:22 PM
Bumping this one up for Dave

Dave,
I'm bumping this one up for you and to all of the new modders to our site. Dave, hang in there with your plan for 30. So much of it (I think) is the psychological part of having a drink - so enjoy your "fine" Arnold Palmer or have an O'Douls with the guys!! I find it works for me!!
:l
Eve11

DfromCT
July 19th, 2012, 10:34 PM
Thanks, Eve. I went with the Arnold Palmer, over O'Douls, and was thankfully sober through golf and cards. Didn't play any better but had as much or more fun doing so, and didn't have to worry that Johnny Law was going to pull me over on the way home.

Everyone and anyone, moderator or AF is welcome on this post, all viewpoints are encouraged.

Dave

DfromCT
July 19th, 2012, 10:35 PM
Hey, Lifejustis...WELCOME and feel free to share more of your thoughts, fears, and experiences. GOOD LUCK!

Dave

Cashregister
August 2nd, 2012, 06:02 PM
Hi all what a brilliant post to bump up. I am not an alcoholic and can say that with certainty as my adopted mother IS and I've seen and lived through, the destruction it causes to the alcoholic and their family. I have been drinking a bit more than usual lately as both my parents are Very sick (amputations, pneumonia etc etc etc ). I live with bipolar disorder type one ( more up than down but the ups ain't fun) and after talking to my psychiatrist about the drinking we decided that I should try to be dry for about 6months so I can work out some better coping mechanisms for this period in my life than the ones mother gave me, which didn't do anything at all (lol love that song). I am on day six and have had no side effects except for a little insomnia. I don't feel like a drink and there's plenty in the house. I was not drinking every night and my limit is about five drinks on the meds I take. Last weekend however, after hearing my father has to have more "taken off" his other foot I had a total emotional meltdown and drank nearly three bottles of wine over about ten hours and then passed out.
So here I am to get the help and motivation a shrink can't give me. I don't intend to drink again for months but you modders are lovely and I think I'd like to be on this side of the divide if I slip.
And please don't say I'm in denial cause I'm not I know my issues and so does my shrink :) I do have a tendency to turn to AL when I'm faced with tough situations but they have to be pretty tough. I've moderated for years - couple of drinks on weekends, or if not going out mostly none at all.
In psych terms I'm a situational drinker.
Thanks for reading if you got this far! So can I hang out with you for six months, pretty please? :)
Cashy xxx

vlivengood
August 2nd, 2012, 06:52 PM
Cash, welcome we are a very nonjudgmental group here, we are a small group though and it can get quiet here at times we hang out mostly in the monthly MOD SQUAD so the August mod squad for now....

No reason to limit your stay to six months though :)

Cashregister
August 2nd, 2012, 06:57 PM
Ok just not sure where to be re the site. I just read someone telling an obviously very intelligent and very young man that he should never drink ever again it was ludicrous, I mean how better to put off an intelligent young man. Arrrggghh!!
Sorry :)
Too true about the six months but do often life gets in the way and other health issues need priority sometimes. Thanks Cashy xxx

Stewarts
August 3rd, 2012, 02:33 PM
Welcome


Cashregister;1359138 wrote: Hi all what a brilliant post to bump up. I am not an alcoholic and can say that with certainty as my adopted mother IS and I've seen and lived through, the destruction it causes to the alcoholic and their family. I have been drinking a bit more than usual lately as both my parents are Very sick (amputations, pneumonia etc etc etc ). I live with bipolar disorder type one ( more up than down but the ups ain't fun) and after talking to my psychiatrist about the drinking we decided that I should try to be dry for about 6months so I can work out some better coping mechanisms for this period in my life than the ones mother gave me, which didn't do anything at all (lol love that song). I am on day six and have had no side effects except for a little insomnia. I don't feel like a drink and there's plenty in the house. I was not drinking every night and my limit is about five drinks on the meds I take. Last weekend however, after hearing my father has to have more "taken off" his other foot I had a total emotional meltdown and drank nearly three bottles of wine over about ten hours and then passed out.
So here I am to get the help and motivation a shrink can't give me. I don't intend to drink again for months but you modders are lovely and I think I'd like to be on this side of the divide if I slip.
And please don't say I'm in denial cause I'm not I know my issues and so does my shrink :) I do have a tendency to turn to AL when I'm faced with tough situations but they have to be pretty tough. I've moderated for years - couple of drinks on weekends, or if not going out mostly none at all.
In psych terms I'm a situational drinker.
Thanks for reading if you got this far! So can I hang out with you for six months, pretty please? :)
Cashy xxx
Hey, I responded to one one of your other posts, now I see your story more clearly. First, you are not in denial and your definitely not an alcoholic. Like you said, you unfortunately had to live with it with a loved one and I (as I'm sure we all) have friends that are addicts and their experience is much different (and a lot scarier).

I'm on meds too, I said it in the other post, while I'm not recommending drinking on meds (I mean on I do), you know that there are facts and myths as to what a med may or may not do to you with alcohol; also, as you know, it depends on your body chemistry. I take 300 mg of Welbutrin and 20mg of Prozac. I notice the same, if I do drink, if I keep it to 3-4 before, before 10pm on a weeknight....fine...on a weekend, where I can sleep more, it can go to 5-6, but I still try to avoid that.

Again, welcome, and as everyone pointed out...no one here is judgemental and we are all trying to support each other.

j.

Cashregister
August 3rd, 2012, 06:30 PM
Thanks J answered on the other post sort of. Yeah it's different for everyone - I happen to be one of those sensitive little poppets who meds affect very quickly and my dosages are very low. When I was in my late teens and twenties I was a true Cadbury drunk (glass and a half of milk in every block - dunno if you had that advert over there??') if the joke doesnt work I drank about 3 wines and I was what we call pleasantly pissed down under!! That's still very much the case for me, and combined with the meds I can feel tipsy after half a glass! Still when the proverbial hits the fan sometimes I overindulge and boy do I pay for it - I get soooo sick I think I'm going to die. I want to learn from people here how to see triggers coming and how to work out my own plan of action ( in conjunction with my docs ) so that I don't treat bipolar triggers with alcohol etc etc. I'm lucky in one respect having bipolar as it has led me to really examine my life
And know my moods - I've had to or I would have been dead - I did get suicidal and I acted on it twice both times I was so manic, thoughts racing, highly agitated and just wanted to stop, get off the bus. Not a good look :( but that was all years ago and now I am so much more in control thanks to a decent med regime. Now to cut out using alcohol to self medicate - day 7 AF and I just want to re examine my life without booze for a while - abstinence long term is not my goal, life long term is !!! :)

Eve11
October 12th, 2012, 05:53 PM
Lasha,
I wanted to bump this one for you. I couldn't rename it for you (can't rename original titles) so I will private mail (pm) you to look for it. We are glad you are here!
:l
Eve11