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**Newyear** · September 15, 2006, 10:41 PM

Little Pity Party

Oh Kathy- now that made me feel really guilty...I would just say:new: but I guess that just wouldn't be right!
I did read your post but I have no kids and no husband and no...ok well that's it I guess. I have to tell you that when I was reading it I was thinking - 'wow, what nice family stuff' I know it is stressful to you but it sounds like you have a wonderful daughter and I know you are just extremely proud of her.
She has a great mom and she will make good decisions....or learn from the not so good ones.
It just made me think of hustle and bustle of family activity- your daughter...can I say it again??? Sounds Just Wonderful! You should be very proud of all she has done. And I'm glad to know there are honerable people out there like you who stand by their committments - good for you! Really- I think that just goes to good character and your daughter sees you doing that too.

Well - hope you have a wonderful evening. Thanks for being so very nice to me too. I appreciate it more than you know - meant a lot.
Lisa

**wellseasoned** · September 15, 2006, 10:51 PM

Little Pity Party

Kathy

In my book, you have earned a little pity party!

I'm tipping my Dixie cup of h2o to you!

Jenn

PS Hubby and I saw Black Dahlia tonight for date night. Good date - movie was not great. Anyone else see it?

**Guest** · September 15, 2006, 11:44 PM

Little Pity Party

a great lesson in life

I think this is going to be a great lesson for her. Sometimes you have to do what is best for yourself--even if it is going to upset other people. Too many times we forge on because of what other people want and expect from us. A great lesson in standing on your own two feet and knowing what is most important for you. Any good person in her life is going to want that for her--and it is great to learn who wants that for you--not what is best for them.

**TheKanga** · September 16, 2006, 12:49 AM

Little Pity Party

Stop It Already!

Look, all this talk of 4" thick memoryfoam mattress topper's is gettin' this old Kanga hot under the collar.

**cv1** · September 16, 2006, 06:55 AM

Little Pity Party

Kathy, I'm glad that you are letting your daughter do what is best for you and you have every right to vent, be angry, be protective as a strong mother is! I know that you probably feel a little under appreciated as well, since you've been leading the charge with the sewing and apparently, the band leader doesn't get that either.

I'm sure this doesn't help you feel better, but I hope the rant did let you get out expressing yourself.

**YoungAtHeart** · September 16, 2006, 08:32 AM

Little Pity Party

Thanks, I feel Better

Thanks Lisa, Jenn, Kim and CV--I appreciate your responses. It felt really good to RANT!! :H A good night's sleep also helped a lot. A had a strange dream about big bear being outside the window, and it was very scary, but when I tried to investigate, it turned out to be merely a big dog. Maybe making things bigger in my head than they need to be??? Morning brings a new perspective, too, and it was nice to wake up to your responses.

I appreciate your support and your affirmation of my as a mother. I have tried hard to be a good mom, so getting that feedback was pretty important to me!

Thank you all, again!!

And Mr. Kanga! You naughty boy! Where is your playmate, Tawny?? Does she know you're over here flirting??

Hugs,
Kathy:l

**vinophile** · September 16, 2006, 08:40 AM

Little Pity Party

Bien touche (well done) Kathy, to bring this back to our attention.I don't think this is a pity party as these are feelings that if ignored( and I guess that's exactly what we did) or buried,rear their ugly head later.These are the feelings we don't want to drown in a bottle of wine later on as we did not deal with them properly.

First,it is so hard to see a deserving child get passed over time and time again for a position for which they have worked so hard. It is especially hard to watch if your child seems to take it all in stride and continues to work hard in the hopes of acheiving said position later. I think it is harder on the parent than on the child.Perhaps it is a lesson in that hard work and perseverance do not always pay off. Girls (mind you I don't have any) often are very verbal about their frustration and will vent.Mothers (especially) absorb all this. It's harder on the mother than the child. Be happy that you are a mother to whom your daughter can vent. I could not certainly vent to my mother and therfore the frustration and hurt stayed within. I'm sure this is not the case with your daughter.

It is also hard to see a child quit an activity which has become such a part of your lives. This is especially true when they are in their teens as it's our signal that yes,indeed,they are getting ready to move on with their lives.
When my oldest son quit hockey I was devastated. He was fine.I think it bothered me as it was one way in which we connected and I felt without it I would lose a part of him.Realizing that I have worked very hard to make sure we connected in some other way. i don't think my husband was able to do that(yet) and his communication with my son is still not the way it was.
So get out those study guides for the SAT,s and ACT's so your daughter can have HER choice of where she wants to go to college(Actually I think there is so much more to college applications than scores but that's a whole different post)

Lastly,you are such a wonderful person to continue sewing flags for a group that, it seems, has not been fair to your daughter at all times. Am I correct in remembering you sewing flags last spring????Does this continue all year??? If so you might want to reconsider your sewing responsibiltiy to them. Maybe give them your "notice". Whatever happens you do not want to sew feeling resentful. Perhaps the sewing was in part a connection to your daughter and now that she's no longer doing it your time would be better spent with her in some other way.
Perhaps.... I don't know what I'm talking about.But I am a parent who has been though something similar. It's hard for me as these are feelings that are not easily expressed. They are easy to bury or drown with alcohol but they never go away.Best to deal with them,act on them, and then file them away with a big PHEW!!!!!!
Good Luck and let us know how it goes.

**mojomuppet** · September 16, 2006, 10:04 AM

Little Pity Party

ok im the mother of a 17 year old girl that gave up alot of her extra stuff to study also.thank the gods they are smart enough to do this.waht i am pissed about is the band leader giving her crap about it. i would have had at that persons head for making that girl cry. i say rant all weekend if you have too!

**sujul** · September 16, 2006, 10:37 AM

Little Pity Party

:l :l Kathy! :l

From my post on our "daily' thread:

"I have a lot to learn from you in terms of keeping my commitments....thanks for being such a wonderful role model not only for your daughter but for all of us here! You have worked and are working so hard and your wonderful daughter is your gift to the world--and we are grateful. We SO need a new, more responsible generation of GOOD PEOPLE! Thank you. (And just remember that that manipulative so and so has to live with him/her self...you've got MUCH better company!)"
:h
susan

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