Sunday September 17th

[YoungAtHeart]

Good Sunday Morning Abbers!

I was writing this long post, but then I realized it really belonged under My Story. LOL! So I copied it into My Documents, and I'll finish it sometime and then post it. I was getting carried away again!

I don't have anything that profound to say this morning. Your Mayor is feeling a little befuddled with dealing with some less than honorable people yesterday.

I'm struggling with feeling angry after the band picnic last night. The other parents were great--very understanding and supportive of both Madison and me, but the band director refused to even meet my eyes or acknowledge me in any way. Hummph!! The band and color guard looked great, though. Clearly, losing Madison is not going to change the earth's orbit after all!

However, the most disturbing thing last evening was that Madison came home and told me that she ran into Mr. A at a local eatery, who was her teacher from an advanced class that she had dropped in the first week of school to STAY IN BAND, and Mr. A. asked her why she had dropped his class when she also dropped band. Apparently the band director has run and told Mr. A. that Madison dropped out of color guard and made it sound like Maddy is just a quitter. Madison is outraged, and I am absolutely astonished!

So maybe this can be our topic after all.....HOW DO WE COPE WITH OUR DISAPPOINTMENTS WITH OTHERS? We all know how to blot it out with booze. How have we dealt with it in the past?? What are better ways of dealing with it now?

Madison is planning on confronting Miss H. about discussing her situation with other teachers at school, and she is also planning on going to the guidance office with a complaint about the matter. After she has done this, I MAY follow up with an e-mail to Miss H., expressing my feelings about the situation.

Thanks for bearing with me everyone!!!

Lots of love!
Grateful for all you give me!
Kathy:l

[lushy]

Sunday September 17th

Sadly I still drink through my dissapointments, but that serves no one, especially me. At the time it seems the logical answer but rationally I know it is not. It is all about immediate gratification for me in those moments. I applaud you Kathy for not giving in to drinking over this. May I be so strong some day!!!

[Guest]

Sunday September 17th

Hi Kathy, Lush and all other Absvillans!

Happy Sunny Sober Sunday -sorry for your problems Kathy - I'm not a mother, but have two step kids and two gorgeous grand-daughters, and I know that you would feel much more annoyed about injustice to your daughter than perhaps you would if it was against yourself - I would wrap my girls in cotton-wool if I thought it would help, but it doesn't, and of course they are fine, happy and healthy, but if something or someone were to hurt or upset them - GRRRRR -the Terror would strike!!!

No wine at all this weekend - yippee for me - and Monday is on the way, so I have jumped the first hurdle and the race is on - lots of love and stuff

TARTAN

[YoungAtHeart]

Sunday September 17th

Thanks for your kind words Lush and Tartan. Hey Lush, trust me, I drank through them too, until recently. It is easier to get a little abs time under your belt when things are calm. Do that, and then you can try tackling the frustrations. JUST KEEP TRYING!

Tartan, starting Abs just before a weekend is so brave!!! I would always start at the beginning of the week to get up a little momentum before facing the weekend!!! I really applaud you!!:wd:

I read over my first post, and there was hardly anything there except about me. I'M SO SORRY. This has been a tough few days. I promise that I'll be a better Mayor on my next stint when the dust has settled. But you've all been great to me, and I thank you all deeply.

Anyway, I am looking forward to everyone checking in today, cause I'm feeling rested and more capable of LEADING again!

Lou, does you do nails? I'm needing a fill...

See you all later!

Lots of love,
Kathy:l

[cv1]

Sunday September 17th

Morning all, it is a good Sunday and it finally ISN'T raining in the Capitol, so this is an excellent start. I think it will only last one day, but I'll enjoy the heck out of it!

Kathy, I would definitely follow through and ensure that the guidance counselor and the teacher's administrative leaders understand that one of their "leaders" is overstepping her authority and acting in an immature and destructive manner which could have huge repercussions for their students. It completely sends the wrong message about what responsible adult behavior should be. Kids learn by example and it sounds like the band leader needs a little reminding that she is a teacher and not a child and so has to behave in a proper manner, not act like a kid herself.

I'm sorry things are going bad and you're still feeling out of sorts because of it. Perhaps as soon as you take action to resolve it, you and your daughter will begin to feel better.

To all else, and to those coming back, like Macks, have a great day! Time to let the dog out!

[sujul]

Sunday September 17th

Good Morning Abbers!

I can't STAND it! I have been typing for about 20 minutes in response to your post, Kathy and I must have hit the wrong keys because I suddenly lost the whole screen page and my post has gone into the ether.....:upset: It was good too!

I am totally pressed for time here but I just could not NOT respond to what you,,,

For one thing I am totally outraged at the behavior of these people--aside from anything else this is totally unprofessional! What kind of example are they setting for their students?? The band woman is behaving like a kid in junior high!! Clearly, she is seeing this as some kind of personal rejection instead of supporting Madison in making some excellent priorities in her life....and obviously her own self-worth is somehow wrapped up in all this...pathetic! The woman needs to grow up! The art teacher too! Jeez, these folks are teaching kids??? Astonishing...

Now, my response to your question as to how we deal with stuff like this by not drinking.... First of all, I had to get to the point where alcohol was just NOT AN OPTION. It's not like I make a decision that I will not drink over situations like this, but that there is NO DECISION to be made.....

Bottom line in this instance is: THEY'RE NOT WORTH IT! Not worth you giving them your power--because that's what you would be doing...ceding your power to their childish behavior. I know the band woman has no idea what you are struggling with here, but imagine she did and the satisfaction it would give her to know that she had had such an impact on your emotional wellbeing! After all, that was her intention (to make you feel bad, guilty, etc.) when she avoided you at the picnic....SHE can't deal with this and she wants you to pay for it with guilt...

The next "bottom line" is: IT DOESN'T WORK! We already know that alcohol is a liar and a cheat. It promises to help us get through our anxiety, our depression, our pain...but it's a total fraud...just think it through...don't only imagine how that first sip would taste...but also let your imagination move to an hour later, two hours later, ten hours later, the next morning... You already KNOW how it will play out! >
This is where we have to develop alternate coping mechanisms....the lie of alcohol has to be replaced by the truth of something else....deep breathing, going for a walk, reading something inspiring--even reading a trashy novel or watching yet another rerun of "Law and Order"--remember from a few weeks ago on the board here: we have to do WHATEVER IT TAKES!

You--and Madison--deserve better than your retreat into a wine bottle! Maybe you could go out and enjoy a special dinner together...get a manicure....buy a new outfit...go to a good movie....

I'm thinking of you today--I've already shared this story with my nearest and dearest and now we're both outraged about these so-called "teachers".....

Send me a pm if you want to "talk" about this more....

Sorry, folks, I'll get back to y'all later....actually, I'm on my way to the ordination of a good friend....
:l :l :l
susan

[gabby]

Sunday September 17th

Good Mornin guys,
Busy day yesterday and today for me. "Almost" read everything.

Kathy I loved what you did as Mayor for the weekend. Really busy posts and good ones. Gosh, I think you do SUCH a good job choosin the topics and keepin it goin (I do the same thing...look for something to talk about off something someone said..he he) Anyway you do so good and then you say sorry for it. But everybody else thinks it was so good.
And then I do the same thing. Make a big long post on something good and you guys like it and write about it and I still find something to worry about, think I offended someone, or think it was stupid or something. lol

Kath.....what are we going to do?

Gotta run and go to work, Hi everyone and bye. gabby

[Bambino]

Sunday September 17th

Hi Everyone.

In middle of cooking sunday din dins. Roast beef and tattis, yorkshires and LOADS of veg - prefer the veg actually - only have One potato - not really into them.

Kathy - don't waste your energy stressing out on this stupid woman. And Maddy is a smasher. Strong Young Lady.... Good for her. Have posted before that I think she is wonderful - and takes after her mummykins !!!!

Jock - you doin ok? Good for you for not drinking over the weekend. Was going to make a joke then about Scots, and bein tight - but think peeps here are a bit tired to take my sense of humour at the mo !!!! So I'll keep my trap shut - always gets me into trubble !!!!

As far as disappoinment and dealing with it - in the past I used to throw the odd plate at a wall, but now - mainly I come on here and that calms me.

Would also like to thank Camper, who was concerned about me being up at 12 at night last night - after harrowing day, and 1 hours sleep the previous night. Thanks camp.... slepy until 12 midday today - still tired, and feelin a bit ratty ( not mousy as my avatar shows !!! )

Lush - know about the immediate gratification thing...; Quick fix - tisn't lomng term solution as we all know the next day. - Hope you are ok - thinking of you . X

CV I hope you are ok - are you still in cleansing mode? I hope you are feeling good .

Macks, glad the sticky carpet has gone - can imagine you stuck to the carpet - desperately trying to make it to the sofa, but havvin to stand and watch tv !!! I know it wasn't that bad - look - you see - can't help myself =- sarcy jokes... My fishy little friend don't mind tho ---- do you?

Hi to Lou - hope the salon is doin ok - sounds like you have been busy =- can you book me in for a trim - on my head hair !!!!!

hi to everyone else I have failed to mention , but Love to you all.

Liz
xxxxx

Oh and Liverpool have just been beaten by Chelsea 1-0 = Booo Hisss

[xtexan]

Sunday September 17th

sujul wrote: This is where we have to develop alternate coping mechanisms....the lie of alcohol has to be replaced by the truth of something else....

Susan:

I read your post, and many good points. Many, many good points. The quote above is right on the mark, and has been the absolute core of my recovery the last nine months. That is a gem you put down there.

I wonder what was in the post you lost? That has happened to me so many times. I get some really good stuff down, and then POOF!! If I know that a post will get to be a long one, I quit and move to a simple word processor for a little insurance.

I got to thinking, when things get rough, would I drink a quart of gasoline? Would I drink a quart of kerosene? No, but I used to put a quart of another flammable fuel in my body. I heard that Indianapolis racers are going to 100% ethanol (booze alcohol) next year. So instead of imagining a sip of beer, or whiskey, or whatever....I imagine a sip of gasoline poisoning my body. I imagine vomiting until blood appears. I imagine having tremors of the hands, and a headache that leaves me begging for mercy. I imagine depression so deep, that I can do nothing but lie in the bed for a whole weekend because I got plastered on a Friday night.

Anyway, good one there! Very astute!

[lushy]

Sunday September 17th

See? This is why I come over here even though I am not abs yet. You all have something profound to say. I like your idea Xtexan of imagining I am drinking kerosene because essentially that is what we are doing. Susan, everything you said really hit home with me. I have to get to the point where it is not an option at all. I plan to be AF during the week so maybe that will be a new beginning for me. I will not keep wine in the house so that will help. Kathy, you have my admiration how you have embraced abs so well. I am sorry you are going through a frustrating time. Sorry if I forgot anyone here but I have gotta run.....Happy Sunday and thanks for being here!!!!

[Newyear]

Sunday September 17th

Good Afternoon-
Kathy- just wanted to add one thing to the many good responses to your school issue going on.
Your story reminded me of something that happened to me when I was probably a junior in HS.
My phys ed teacher found a journal of mine that I had left in the locker room by mistake. She took the journal and read it and then called my mom.
She told my mom that there were some things in that journal she should really know about.... To be honest I don't think there was anything all that bad in there.. crushes or maybe tried smoking a cigarette...don't know. Anyway, my mother impressed me so much because she told that PE teacher that unlike her, she respected the privacy of her daughter and would never consider reading my private journal. My mother was furious at the PE teacher and told her to gve me back my journal. And my mother never asked me about the journal.
I had such respect for my mom over that. It made me feel important and that I had some dignity and that she respected my privacy. It made a huge impact on me. She stood up for a principal and she supported me.
I know you have a different situation going on there but I was just thinking that maybe you could think of your response to this thru the eyes of your daughter- because in the end she is the one that matters here. No matter what her decision - and no matter what her teachers response is - the important thing is how she feels about herself and you can help influence that.
You can't change what they do - the world has crazy people. But you can help your daughter deal with it and help her put it in perspective.
Anyway..my two cents for what it's worth.

Hello to everyone else too!! susan, cv, tartan, lush, exetan, bambino and gabby!!! whew!
Hope everyone has had a good weekend. So, I'm packing for my trip to New orleans. Almost done. I've got the itinerary, and my work clothes and a book and my pc...and toothbrush...melatonin so I can sleep well tonight-
I'm still not well- sinus infection for the last week. I did finally go to the dr and have some meds for it.
I'm looking forward to reporting out my lack of alcohol consumption later today...and then later this week.
Not easy being AF in NO. It's basically the reason for going to New Orleans...isn't it? Or maybe thats just how I thought about New O:H

Better get back to packing. I'm sad to leave my kitties alone for so long :upset: but I have a good friend who will kitty sit for me. But last time one of my babies peed in my shoe to let me know their displeasure..
hope this time is better! hiding my shoes
Lisa

[cv1]

Sunday September 17th

Hi Bambs...and all else, I almost had to leave the computer because yes, Bambs, still in cleansing mode, on Day 14 and your dinner description sounded TOO yummy. Tomorrow starts what they call the power mode for the next 7 days, 5 herb sets, 4 shakes and one raw/steamed veggie meal....I'm being really quiet so as not to rock my boat because that is the key for me. The next week it's shakes and herbs only. But it will be really worth it, like climbing Mt Fuji again!

Halfway through and the next two weeks should bring the most results, so today, I decided something sweet might be good so I steamed some baby carrots, mashed them with some almond milk, added the cinnamon, cardamom and nutmeg with a dash of raw honey. Hmmmm, pretty darn good!

You sound like you're doing well, so that is great. Keep it up. I know the lows can come and get you sometimes but just duck a little bit and they go away!

Lisa, I was in such a rush I didn't respond, but please have fun in NO. Stay strong and busy. I haven't been back there since last December and I'm really feeling like I need to get back and see all of my old haunts, how my neighborhood is doing and everything else.

I'm glad that you are making it through the weekend!



I guess I should turn off the food network too for the next two weeks...lol.

Stay well all and have a continued strong abs/healthy day!

[lushy]

Sunday September 17th

What a nice story about your mom Lisa. Made me miss mine. Have a nice AF time in NO. You will do it....hope you feel better too.

[YoungAtHeart]

Sunday September 17th

Wonderful thoughts!

Everyone has such good thoughts to contribute each and every day here--it is truly great to behold!!! Susan, "NOT AN OPTION" is definitely the way to be successful at Abs! When you put the idea that alcohol is an option clear out of your mind, it makes life a whole lot easier. You just start looking for other options. I think that that is where the hypno tapes can be helpful for some, or even guided imagery, because you can start visualizing yourself making other choices besides alcohol before situations come up.

Isn't it good to see the sun again, CV??? I can't help but feeling a little more bright myself when the outside world looks so cheery and warm. I'm glad that your cleanse is going so well. Keep up the good work. Your sweet treat sounds pretty yummy actually! Thanks for your words of wisdom on my situation, as well.

Susan, thanks for your words of encouragement, too! Don't get your own knickers in a knot though, please!! Actually, just having a quiet day of sewing without distractions is a nice treat for me! I hope your friend's ordination is beautiful and spiritually satisfying. Enjoy your day!

Gabby, have a good day at work! I hope you have the time to check in later, fellow Honorable!

Yum, Liz, glad I don't have to sit down at your table. I'd blow up like a blimp in no time at all! Sounds lovely. I love Yorkshire Pudding, and it just loves my hips and buns!!!:H I understand why CV can't linger reading your posts for too long!!! I hope that you catch up on your sleep tonight, sweetie. It's important to get your rest.

Hey xtexan, nice to see you hop over here. Just visiting or are you going to hang around for a while??? You could definitely set up a shingle as an alternative healer! I've been reading some of your stuff on the holistic healing threads, and it is very interesting! I would like to get that image in my head too about drinking kerosene or something. I know that my wine was starting to taste pretty yucky to me, but I haven't gotten to the idea of poison yet. If I could get it that one step further....wow!!!

Lush, keep popping on in! That's how I decided to move over here. I kept popping over to read and I kept liking what I was seeing until I finally made the leap. If you can stay AF during the week, that will be a good start!

span style="font-family: Georgia;">Lisa, what a mom you had!!! I can't help but admire her. I just loved your story! I've gotta admit, I might have read my daughter's journal, but as long as she wasn't shooting heroin or anything, I would have left it at that and never mentioned it to her! But it sure wasn't the teacher's place to read it.

I've gotta say, thought, Maddy right now has a little bit of vengeance on her mind and would like me to be a little bit destructive too, but I am staying on an even keel with that and setting some limits about what I will and won't do with regards to this. I will certainly go to bat for her, but I'm not going to behave in a destructive manner!!!:H

Oh, and Lisa, we'll all be waiting with bated breath for your reports from the Crescent City, and we're all pulling for you to stay AF. I hope you have a great time, and please make sure you have some good stuff to do/books to read/distractions should you feel tempted!

Lots of love til later all!
Hugs,
Kathy:l

[vinophile]

Sunday September 17th

Quick late day check-in,
I'm so sorry you have to deal with such nasty,vengeful people at Madison's school!!!! Ithink the plan of action you told us about in your opening post sounded great.Certainly someone in the administration hasto be told about all of this. Great job,also, for keeping away from the wine at such a tough time!!!!!
It seems as if most have had a pretty good weekend. It's great to start the week on a positive note.
See you all tomorrow
Janet