downward spiral

[tawnywitch]

i started out here weeks ago and seemed to do well for me,even managed a week af, now i seem to be in a downward spiral, i am drinking more than i was, taking so many pill.s and even added eating far too much now, i am getting fat, so unfit and completly depressed i just cant seem to break this mood at all, where do i go from here, how do i get to the state of mind where i want to give up enough to actually do it?

[JackieClaire]

downward spiral

Hi Tawny,
I can't for the life of me remember if I said hello or not but :welcome:.
Have you had a word with your GP about your depression. Alcohol is a very well known cause of depression.

Do you want to go into chat for a bit.

Love Jackie xxx

[mario]

downward spiral

hi tawny witch when we start out on this road to recovery we are full of ethuisem and great expectations, and at the start it all seems that it is working....no problems. but we can feel burdened,inadequate,and over whelmed by expectations .before we came here we may have been easily caught in the trap of others expectations because we didn't know who we really are,now that your here it gives you a chance to understand yourself better,which in turn helps you to set your own goals,you need to see clearly what expectations are yours and which belong to someone else,pause today to make sure you are fullfilling your own needs first.,hope this helps

[rubywillow]

downward spiral

Tawny,I have enjoyed reading your posts and love your avatar. Is it someone in your family? If so, there is a great starting point. I'm sorry you're feeling so down right now, but we do go through cycles during our journey. You have managed some good time by your own posts, and can do it again. No one knows what the 'magic' is that pushes us over and shows us the life we can be living. Take just today, Tawny, and plan it. Stay here all day if you need to, or find anything else to change your habit. STOP before you pick up, either food or drink, and think about what you are feeling, what you want, how this action will affect the rest of the day. Then, if you're able to resist, congratulate yourself, and do something nice for yourself. What do you enjoy, or did you enjoy enjoy before AL took over? It's the same story for all of us - we lose ourselves in the poison and madness of the drink, and it takes time to recover the true person we are. Remember, you are not the AL. You deserve happiness. We are here for you.

[savon19]

downward spiral

(I agree with Ruby - CUTE kid! Yours??)

When drinking, it seems Impossible to think we'll actually feel Better.. NOT drinking! The hardest is to believe that we'll feel Mentally better!! I picture it as almost being inside a web. The view from inside the web is... a web. We can't see from inside that there's a "NON-web" world out there!

(Now, I say all that after having a pretty strong urge on this morning of Day 8?? Whassup with that? I was feeling very strong these past few days and now am getting shaky.)

[tawnywitch]

downward spiral

thanks yes its my youngest, hes nursing a broken collarbone at the moment, fell off his horse but got back on and did two more jumps before going very pale, hes a great little boy and thats why hes my avatar, i am feeling much more positive thank you for the support,love and hugs Tawnywitch

[shirazgirl]

downward spiral

Hi Tawny,
Alcoholism is such an ugly misunderstood condition. I am on day 28 and am finally starting to develop new patterns and habits. I truly believe we have to get some AF time under our belt in order to change the way we perceive al. It isn't easy and their have been moments I almost cracked. I am nowhere near the finish line but it can be done if you truly want to get out of the "hell hole" of repetition. You will not miss the hangovers, self loathing, guilt and blood shot eyes. The benefits definitely outweigh the few hour buzz. Keep coming here. Sometimes it takes a few times. I know, been there done that. Your little boy is quite something. That, in and of itself is a great reason to be sober!