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MKR
September 25th, 2006, 01:56 PM
HOSPITAL CHART BLOOPERS.... Actual writings from hospital charts:

1. The patient refused autopsy.

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.

7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

12. She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

14. The skin was moist and dry.

15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

tawnyfrog
September 25th, 2006, 02:19 PM
WOW! Circus sized ...

Thanks for good early morning laugh.

lushy
September 25th, 2006, 02:29 PM
I do medical transcription for a living. Trust me some of these mistakes are easy to make. It is easy to let your mind wander and not pay attention to what you are typing. And doctors will say things such as the above and they do not make sense but, by law, you have to type it as they say it. They all make me laugh too, though. And sorry, but think I can do without a circus sized penis!!!!!

Guest
September 25th, 2006, 09:34 PM
Will copy this one and share it with my friends at my "old" job. Thanks for the laugh! Gina

mojomuppet
September 27th, 2006, 01:18 PM
to funny funny. im refusing my autopsy too!

Alcoholic
October 29th, 2012, 11:15 PM
Hahaha! Discharge status: alive without permission! That's my favorite one!

kuya
December 30th, 2015, 06:28 AM
Bump

These cracked me up!