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I tried, and did well...then, it seems I stopped trying!!!

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    I tried, and did well...then, it seems I stopped trying!!!

    Some of you supported me over the summer months, so you may remember me. I was doing so well, but I'm back to drinking daily. Every night, practically, I drink until I go to sleep. I wake up 2-3:00am, with incredible guilt feelings, and in terrible psychic pain. Sometimes, I feel like I will never be able to quit. I love the IDEA of sobriety, of waking up non-hungover, of my kids feeling proud of me. Hope is somehow very far away. I need some help.

    thanks for listening.

    cry

    #2
    I tried, and did well...then, it seems I stopped trying!!!

    Oh Cry,

    I remember you way back in July when I first started posting here. I joined Sept 2008 and never opened my mouth.

    As you can see I've never shut up since.

    If I had a penny for every time I'd fallen off the wagon I'd be quite a rich woman.

    Have a good cry, it's very healing. Then deep breathes and water, water and more water.

    J x

    :l:l
    It could be worse, I could be filing.
    AF since 7/7/2009

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      #3
      I tried, and did well...then, it seems I stopped trying!!!

      Hi there Crybaby, its good to see you back here. Thats a great start.
      Drinking and quitting or wanting to quit is like a viscous circle sometimes, we want to, we know we can but just cant quite get there so we carry on with the destruction because its seemingly easier.
      Have you thought of putting a plan together to stop? This might include meds, supplements, support or a new regime?
      Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
      Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

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        #4
        I tried, and did well...then, it seems I stopped trying!!!

        crybaby,we all remember you as we all have been there,you know that this is a fine community which will help you & give support as best as it can.We all feel at the beginning that we cant quit,but it can & will be done,get back here and start posting your feelings and questions.you are not alone.odaat.


        :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

        Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
        I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

        This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

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          #5
          I tried, and did well...then, it seems I stopped trying!!!

          i think my hope bucket has run dry...

          I don't have any confidence that I can get through even one day w/out drinking. Every morning, I tell myself I will NOT drink, but by the afternoon, I just seem to accept the fact that I MUST. I have no will power, and I feel like a total looser. I believe my kids have given up on me; they now know to not try to talk to me after I've begun drinking. I'm not the person I ever wanted to turn out to be. I can't believe I've fallen this low once again.

          cry

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            #6
            I tried, and did well...then, it seems I stopped trying!!!

            Crybaby, please dont give up! You know you can do it, you did it last summer. Come on, its the booze making you depressed. Use our help to get you back on track.
            Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
            Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

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              #7
              I tried, and did well...then, it seems I stopped trying!!!

              come on crybaby jump back in here,you were here before you can do it.it doesent matter how low you fall, once you get back up so come on .


              :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

              Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
              I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

              This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

              Comment


                #8
                I tried, and did well...then, it seems I stopped trying!!!

                Hi
                I don't pretend to be any expert on this, I've only been here a few months, but could you start by thinking about cutting back what you are drinking each day, thats how I started. The idea of not drinking at all was way too scarey at first. Then eventually the idea of not drinking for one night, just the one, seemed not so scarey. Just take small steps, so the whole thing does'nt seem so daunting. I know its not easy, and I am not there yet myself, but it does get easier over time, and becomes more normal not to drink than to drink.
                You are not a looser, you are a good person who has a problem, and have come here because you want to solve the problem, thats the first step, and is one of the hardest.
                Wishing you luck, and be kind on yourself.
                Take care:l

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                  #9
                  I tried, and did well...then, it seems I stopped trying!!!

                  Hi I am feeling the same way with the guilt as I have 3 young children I can barely look at them I feel so ashamed I am new and today is going to be my first day to stop drinking you have already done it before I only hope I can to

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                    #10
                    I tried, and did well...then, it seems I stopped trying!!!

                    thanks to all for encouragement

                    Thank you to everyone for reminding me that I've stopped drinking before and can do it again. I took advice from one of you to try to drink LESS. For the last two nights, I've managed at least that. I haven't had to wake up hungover. Today, I have no alcohol to drink; the trick will be to drive home and not buy any. Please wish me well.



                    Gilbert, stay on this sight; it keeps you positive.

                    --cry

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                      #11
                      I tried, and did well...then, it seems I stopped trying!!!

                      Cry, I am routing for you here.
                      Stay strong on your drive home and maybe choose a different route?
                      You can do this, I know you can.
                      Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
                      Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

                      Comment


                        #12
                        I tried, and did well...then, it seems I stopped trying!!!

                        Gilbert, welcome to you.
                        It might be an idea to start up a thread of your own as you will get lots of support that way. And trust me, the support really does help.
                        Take care and look forward to seeing you on the boards Gilbert
                        Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
                        Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

                        Comment


                          #13
                          I tried, and did well...then, it seems I stopped trying!!!

                          crybaby;767400 wrote: I don't have any confidence that I can get through even one day w/out drinking. Every morning, I tell myself I will NOT drink, but by the afternoon, I just seem to accept the fact that I MUST. I have no will power, and I feel like a total looser. I believe my kids have given up on me; they now know to not try to talk to me after I've begun drinking. I'm not the person I ever wanted to turn out to be. I can't believe I've fallen this low once again.

                          cry
                          Cry, these words could have been said by most any of us. In fact, I too am where you are but tonight I didn't drink. Trust me my mind was telling me I needed it and I got into my car and headed to the liquor store but I kept remembering how badly I felt when I woke up this morning and told myself, NO! YOU DO NOT WANT TO DRINK! and tonight I didn't. I don't fool myself that it will be any easier this time than other times I have quit drinking but two things I am trying hard to focus on are: all the good things in my life that alcohol makes me miss out on and that I am not "giving up" alcohol but I am no longer paying money for and willing ingesting a poison that is slowly going to kill me if I don't stop. I'm hoping if I look at alcohol as what it truly is, a poison, I want feel like I am giving up something. To me the phrase "giving up alcohol" sounds like we are losing something of value and we all know this isn't the truth.

                          Gilbert, I hope you stick around and are successful with not drinking tonight. Please take care.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            I tried, and did well...then, it seems I stopped trying!!!

                            Crybaby - hate to disagree with you but... YOU CAN do it. You really can.

                            I was where you are (on a periodic basis!)... thinking I just can't do it. Well, maybe a day. Then "robot-me" would take over, and I'd be driving to the store...

                            BUT. Then I got enough disgusted to go 2 days... then 3. And I started to feel a glimmer of hope. Just enough to carry me through another day...

                            Will I stay AF forever? I doubt it. "Something" will happen probably where I will feel I "need" to drink to be able to handle it. But, maybe not.

                            I know that it's worth Trying.

                            And, Gilbert - I also hope you post more and get involved here - it's really a great site. I'm really sorry about not being so available when you were on chat. I was kind of in the middle of something w/the other person there... We both felt bad when you left! It was just a one-time type of thing.
                            Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down... Anais Nin

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                              #15
                              I tried, and did well...then, it seems I stopped trying!!!

                              Crybaby, for me the first day was the toughest. Then it was one day at a time.
                              Good luck.
                              Love and Peace,
                              Phil


                              Sobriety Date 12.07.2009

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