confused

[NewEagle]

I've been drinking off and on this weekend...not full blown, trashed drinking, just a little here and there. These days, it seems I am able to moderate most of the time. Still, I may quit completely someday.

I am trying to sort out my thoughts. Life is so weird and confusing some weeks. I am sure I have OCD. I am also sure I was abused when I was young. I guess I'm trying to figure out where one ends and the other begins. I do think I am beginning to get some things now.

I think I have sexual confusion sometimes stemming from the abuse I went through. I then keep dwelling on those thoughts because of OCD. Drinking runs in my genes too. My family history is filled with heavy drinking. (Actually, compared to my ancestors, my drinking is tame.)

How do you move past realizing you were abused? I finally feel like I have my OCD under control and now I am finding myself admitting some hard truths to myself. Maybe part of me likes to suffer? Maybe part of me likes to feel down? Or maybe I keep pulling back more layers, healing different parts of myself and getting to the core?

[KateH1]

confused

New E...A history of abuse truly complicates life. It is not something that one can just "Decide to let go"...it takes therapy. I know. I have lived it. The good news is that you can overcome it. It takes some really deep work and therapy. Good for you for searching.....good for you for looking for answers. Keep searching and you will find your way!

Best Wishes,
Kate

[Guitarista]

confused

Hi Eagle,
I'm sorry to hear of your troubles. I know there are a few folk's here with abuse in their history, so at least know you are not alone. Just want you to know that i hear you friend, and i wish you all the best on your journey.
This is a great community too, and i reckon you'll get some benefit from sticking around.

All the best.......G-Force.

[redhibiscus]

confused

Since you asked, I think drinking, even a little, complicates things because it effects your mood and your body. With a history of abuse, therapy would be so helpful, but it is important to find someone who you connect with, so you can sort things out. OCD can be helped with therapy and medications, but all this takes alot of hard work. You have three things you want to work on: drinking, OCD, sexual abuse. It is alot and sounds scary, but it will be such a relief for you when you begin to face all this stuff that is dragging you down. You sound like a wonderful, thoughtful person and I hope you are able to find the help you need. This is probably not a journey to travel alone. Think about it...you deserve the best, you really do. Sending you strength and hope.