Just Plain Sucks

[maslow23]

I have many people here who have reached out and I appreciate that immensely. I think I need a fresh perspective and perhaps MWO can provide that. No drinking but the thoughts, oh the thoughts!!

Thanks,
Maslow (Ryan)

[JackieClaire]

Just Plain Sucks

Hi Maslow,

How about a plan. You could post it here or do it in a note pad.

My alcohol counsellor used to make me write a list of

1. What I like about drinking.

2. What I hated about drinking.

I could fill 2 pages with what I hated about drinking and about 1 line on what I liked.

J x

[beautifulred]

Just Plain Sucks

JC...Aint that the truth....Maslow, listen to JC

[startingover]

Just Plain Sucks

Great ideas JC
Also document your drinking history in graphic detail, the awful things that happened while you were drunk, the way you felt. And then to balance it out, write about what you want your new life to look like now you are sober. All the new things you can do with the money you save, the way your looks improve, the way your mood improves etc....

[mario]

Just Plain Sucks

yes great idea jackieclare, ryan post your thoughts and feelings as much as possible,by sharing them here it will help you and also possibly help others.we can all relate to what your going through,.goodluck.odaat

[stirly-girly]

Just Plain Sucks

Post, post, post

Hi Ryan - Stirly here again.
First, hope you made it through the evening and night but if not, don't beat yourself up about it. There are many Day Ones out there waiting to happen.
JC's plan sounds so right. You have to write it down and have it there in your face. And be honest about what you are writing. This is a place where we can hide our faces behind our computer screens but we can bare our souls to both ourselves and others who have or are going through basically the same process, of not letting AL control our lives.
I personally can think of tens of reasons why I want to stay AF but not one damn reason why I should pick up that cursed bottle again. And you have to remember what you're like when your drinking. Obnoxious?JRude?Verbally abusive? Physically abusive? Behave in front of your kids in a way that you would never do if you were sober? We have all had a few drinks and been a cheerful drunk, but some of us get past that cheeriness and end up being one or all of the above. Hurting our loved ones in ways we never would have done if we had been AF. I'm not saying that you are like that but I'm sure there have been many moments when you have been drinking that you regretted afterwards. (And I won't even mention the moments we don't remember due to blackouts and that others have told us about after all - oh the humiliation!!)
Edit insert: In re-reading this later, I see that I seem to have come down hard on you. I don't mean to. Mainly I'm venting about stupid things I did in the past to help you see your mistakes and avoid future ones. That's all. All is written with that in mind. To help you get AF and stay that way for a better life.
Everyone's advice on this thread sounds like it could help you a lot. Keep posting, keep venting your fears and frustrations. That's what this group at MWO has shown us so far. They really are here for us and we are all here to get healthy and to get our lives back to normal. You may never have the life you once did but it will be a hell of a lot better that what you're going through right now. Mario says "one day at a time" and I support that and add my own little stone to the pile. One hour at a time, one minute at a time. Whatever it takes for you to not let the booze control you. We are all here for you.
Stirly
:hug:

[Doggygirl]

Just Plain Sucks

Hi Ryan! Oh yes...those thoughts.

One of the things I have to do is be proactive about my sobriety on a daily basis. I don't worry about yesterday or tomorrow - just today. (or at least that's the goal!!!) I have very specific actions I take time to do every day. And I'm still spending far less time working on my sober life than I used to spend drinking. My daily activities include:

* Post here on the AF Daily thread and the AA weekly thread
* Attend an AA meeting (typically 5 - 6 days per week)
* Pray and meditate
* Read the readings and whatever my step work assignment is in the Big Book
* Read, write or both on my gratitude list

I'm not suggesting that this specific list is what everybody aught to be doing. This is just what works for me as a minimum to keep my head in the right place. It's worth the effort, because when I keep my head in the right place and stay humble and balanced, then I really don't have urges to drink. For me, being free from that burden of constant urges to drink is well worth what I do to get it.

Go Bears.

DG

[KateH1]

Just Plain Sucks

Hi Ryan, Lots of great ideas here for dealing with those "Thoughts". It seems that for the first 30-60 days we stay very focused on just Not Picking Up That First Drink! As time progresses we realize this is Step Number 1 to living Sober and Happy.

During my first year of sobriety these are some of the changes that I made and they helped me.

1. Come from a place of gratitude rather than deprivation
2. Came to peace with the past. This meant EVERYTHING....Abusive, Cruel parents, siblings, Ex.husband yada, yada, yada.
3. Understand that the Past does not need to affect my future.....I am in control of my thoughts and my actions! I am in control of my future and how I live it!
4. Write daily in my journal....everything that is affecting me that day.....Always End With Gratitude (sometimes I was only grateful for a roof over my head and a warm bed to sleep in!)
5.Take steps in becoming the person that I truly am....No Excuses!
6. Reach out to at least one other person...wanting nothing in return and no expectations!

There is a lot more.....these are just a few exercises.....I hope some of this helps!

xxxKate

[maslow23]

Just Plain Sucks

Thanks All for the wise words and suggestions. Fighting some serious depression and don't have the off switch in my head like I sure wish I did. I think this too shall pass, but it sure is taking a long time!!

[savon19]

Just Plain Sucks

Maslow - I relate (as I'm sure Most do!).

Amazing how we can convince ourselves we don't want to drink... and then those Wayward thoughts float through, usually with very Illogical "justifications" attached.

Have to learn to just observe those thoughts and let them float on through!

(Easier said than done sometimes...)