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Sunday 1st October

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    Sunday 1st October

    Hi everyone,
    :welcome: Miss Dixie,
    Well here I am on my computer at 5 in the morning, having woken early because of over-indulging last night. I have been looking at my tracker record for September. 10 days AF and 6 days moderation. This is WAYYYY better than anything for at least seven years!!!

    However, the tracker has made me think:

    If I start to drink its hard to stop.
    I use weekends as an excuse to get blotto.
    I deliberately dont take supps at weekend so I can drink(planned then!)
    Its harder to moderate after drinking for several days.

    I have a very busy schedule this week so I have decided to try to be AF until Friday but if it works do I continue? Instead of drinking like a fish again at the weekend and starting a new battle next Sunday night.

    Sorry to go on. It is the Sunday morning muse obviously!

    I will think of you lot instead. Mkr Mary, I think you are awesome. I've been admiring your tracker record all month and with all that you are going through with your parents I don't think you need to worry about one little slip. I just wish I knew how you do it. My dad had cancer for years and it was very hard to get through some days. I remember one time when after working all day and travelling to Christie's Hospital at night and then taking my dad's partner home I was faced with trying to find a late opening chippy to eat. I found one and went in. It was full of pub drinkers. I was behind a huge, tough looking guy with tattoos, scars, body piercings...(you get the idea). He turned and looked at me.

    " Don't worry love, It won't always be as bad as it is now," he said and then ordered his curry and chips. Such kindness from the most unlikely looking source.
    Must go now. Love to all as always.

    Waves 2
    xx:h

    Loved this, Jude:

    "My healthy choice today is to live these twenty four hours as a bright potential untarnished by yesterday..."
    Enough is enough

    #2
    Sunday 1st October

    I love you all but i dont even want to talk about it.
    Over 4 months AF :h

    Comment


      #3
      Sunday 1st October

      hey muffins

      Well, I have basically cut off one of my very best friendships because as much as I love him - He is very manipulative - he is gay (not that it matters ) - and he is an gambler and will take my money at any excuse ...) - which, tends to get worst when he drinks...... We got into some trouble on Wed night. I drank more than i wanted to, spent way more than i wanted to and got into waaaay more trouble than i wanted to. Put it this way. He is not suffering any repurcussions from this night and I am. BIG TIME. And so I am now trying to deal with the consequences of my actions. He, however, never has to deal with any repercussions. He gets away with everything and then laughs about it. And then because he gets away with everything he can convince himself he doesnt have problems. I dont think this person is good for me and it really saddens me because we have been good friends for a long time...
      SO, that being said, I love you all - I am not trying to be quiet - just dealing with stuff.
      Oh, and hubby went to the local "Markham Fair" last night which I chose not to partake in and called me so drunk that he couldnt speak. He is staying at a friends. Hmmm. SO AM I AM A LITTLE ANNOYED. so... i guess my point is, i am not trying to be quiet...i am just "pondering".....yes...."pondering"....
      Love you all
      Jen.
      Over 4 months AF :h

      Comment


        #4
        Sunday 1st October

        just checking in . . .

        Greetings, everybody--

        Jen, I wish that I could give you a big hug!:l You are such a sweetheart. I can sense how sad the situation with your friend and now, to top it off, your husband's behavior have you feeling. I hope that you will be gentle with yourself. Bask in how cared about you are here. Remember, you always have your Muffins in your corner.

        Jen, Laura, Rachele, Mary Anne, Luscious Molly, Waves, Dilayne, MKR, Mary, Judie, Trish, Ivy, Tawny . . .
        who am I forgetting? Anyway, you, too!

        I've missed you all. I haven't been posting because I've had the worst flu of my life and could barely think straight. Not that that kept me away from the wine, oh no, the flu could never be THAT bad!

        Today is a bellwether day in my life. My beloved father-in-law, my wise, warm and cuddly dad (my other dad is a good person, and kind, but very reserved), is on a plane heading for the opposite coast. We tried so hard to keep him here but, in the end, being near the most accessible physician in the family, who also happens to be his devoted son, seemed the best solution. Dad's heart is wearing out after more than 100 years of steadfastedness and love and we want his last few months to be safe and comfortable. Dad is not at all cognitively compromised and he knows that he will not be returning home. It is easy for people to say that he has lived a good, long life, and, in many respects, he has. Even within recent months he has driven himself to his volunteer jobs and has remained a ceaseless advocate for the civil rights of others some of whom, like me, are not of his ethnic suit. Dad is the sole person of a huge family to survive the Holocaust. He came to America as a middle-aged refugee, met met my late mother-in-law and settled into the city he is now leaving to raise a family and to fight for the rights of others. I remember the first time I met him. I was so frightened that my not yet inlaws would freak out because I wasn't the nice, Jewish girl they wanted for their son. Instead, they embraced me. Over the years, my father-in-law has comforted me when my husband has been unkind to me. I couldn't see him off at the airport because of the small risk that my flu was still contagious. I'm trying to be optimistic that being near my brother-in-law will allow him a little more quality time, especially time with my brother-in-law's kids. He has been a wonderful Zaide to my kids. The one hope is that in the generations that predated the Holocaust, numerous ancestors passed their 100th birthdays.

        So if I have been especially quiet the past week, you now know that I wasn't running away or rejecting anyone. I've just been caught up in my feelings.

        Jen, back to you. I know that this is presumptuous of me to write but what you are going through will pass. You're strong and well-loved. Believe in yourself.

        E

        P.S. to Waves--I loved your account of the tough-looking guy. I, too, have found that some of the unlikeliest people can be so right on. Hang in there!

        Comment


          #5
          Sunday 1st October

          waves... take you meds you brat lol
          jenn... i been told that if you loan 20 bucks and you never hear from then again it was a good deed,saved yourself some hassle. try this ignore bad behavior. hard to do when drinking i know but baby you are killing 2 birds with one stone.(that is normally a good thing..not in your case)
          jenn...pondering is a good thing do it often
          e... he sounds like a god to me may he finish in peace

          Comment


            #6
            Sunday 1st October

            HI Everyone, Reading everyones threads this morning really helping me get connected to the group, I feel this is a big part of what is helping in this program for me.Along with the topamax,I was wondering if waves2 was taking it because it really helps me stop from wanting to continue to drink on and on.I was never able to just have one or two like I am now thats why when I was in AA,it was always defense against the first drink they felt the first drink would set off some sort of obsession that made you want to continue to drink and drink for me I feel the topamax has short circuited it for lack of putting it another way.Maybe it doesn't work for everyone like that.JUst a thought.Eustacia,What a wonderful man your father in law is,I was glad to have read about him and sad for you,it is a hard time of life with aging parents I am living that myself.Well I am off to brunch birthday celebration for my 79 year old mother.I have to be careful of the muffin,have a great day all,love,Mare

            Comment


              #7
              Sunday 1st October

              :heart: :flower: :happyheart: Dear Mare--

              Happy 79th to your mom!

              E

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                #8
                Sunday 1st October

                Mary you are right. I am trying without Topa at the moment. If I can't improve i can see myself having to order it.

                Won't be on again now probs till next Friday.

                Love to all XXX

                Ps happy birthday to mom. See if Imagine can magic a cake.
                Enough is enough

                Comment


                  #9
                  Sunday 1st October

                  Morning (well, afternoon, LOL) everyone! I didn't let myself get on the computer all morning b/c I'm studying.

                  I feel a lot better today. Still not great (had too many carbs for breakfast and that makes me feel sleepy). But I'm focussed and will worry about drinkiing tomorrow (ala Scarlett O'hara :-) )

                  I hope everyone is making it through the weekend ok.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Sunday 1st October

                    Hi all, thought I should check in. I am feeling very disconnected from everyone right now. I have read some of the post, but do not have the energy to try to add anything. I love the muffin story, the last part with Allie was just a crack up. Wish I was going with her!

                    I got sick about 2 weeks ago and hurt my arm at the same time. I have been in and out of Kaiser a couple of times. Right now it seems I have a whopping case of bronchitis. Can't sleep and nothing is helping with the cough. I play with the kittens alot at night. Finally had to try wine, it worked a lot better then the drugs they were giving me for the cough, so doc said, cut out the meds and go to the wine and reg cough syrup for the nighttime. That seems to be working better. So much for modern chemistry!
                    Brandy with honey would probably be better, but I don't like the stuff.

                    Thinking about all of you and Hi to you new folks, this is a great group, you will like it here.

                    Laura
                    Humor is just another defense against the universe!

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Sunday 1st October

                      Laura, I was really getting worried about you and glad you checked in. Honestly, I have found wine to work better than over the counter drugs as well. I am sorry you have been having a rough time of it. I hope you are on the upswing and taking a lot of downtime for yourself. Yes, the muffin story cracked me up as well this morning.

                      E, I am just so sorry for your FIL having to move away from you. You sound like you are just so incredibly close to him. You and he are in my prayers. It is just so sad......

                      Mare, glad to see you back. Jen, grab those pom poms and head over to the muffin story thread and add something witty - it might make you feel better. Anyone else I am forgetting, I am sorry. Have a good Sunday!!!!
                      I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Sunday 1st October

                        Hi Ya'll, just a quick note to check in. Hope everyone's having a great Sunday! It's my "Friday" finally... I'm beat... but gotta get ready for 1 more night of work. Catch ya later.:l , Judie
                        The only thing worth stealing is a kiss...:flower: zwink:

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                          #13
                          Sunday 1st October

                          :welcome: , Dixie!!
                          The only thing worth stealing is a kiss...:flower: zwink:

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Sunday 1st October

                            Happy 79th Birthday to Mary's Mom! Attached files [img]/converted_files/141128=56-attachment.jpg[/img]
                            :h :h :h :h

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Sunday 1st October

                              checkin in.....gotta go though.


                              Love you all!

                              See you soon.

                              Enjoy your Sunday!:l
                              :h :h :h :h

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