(Why is everyone sending me senior citizen jokes?!!! )
FAMILY
Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96
year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the
other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94 year old yells
back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and
pauses. "Was I going up the stairs or down?" The 92 year old is sitting at
the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head
and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful," as she knocked on her
wooden table for good measure. " She then yells, "I'll come up and help both
of you as soon as I see who's at the door."
_______________________________________________
"I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!"
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March
day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?" "No," the second man
replied, "it's Thursday." And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have
a beer."
___________________________________________
WHAT A CHOICE
A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As
she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say, "Supersex."
She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him,
she said, "Supersex." He sat silently for a moment or two and finally
answered, "I'll take the soup."
____________________________________________
OLD FRIENDS
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they
had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities
had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they
were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad
at me . I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of
your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me
what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she
just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to
know?"
_____________________________________________
SENIOR DRIVING
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just
heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77.
Please be careful!" "Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's
hundreds of them!"
FAMILY
Three sisters ages 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together. One night the 96
year old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the
other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?" The 94 year old yells
back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and
pauses. "Was I going up the stairs or down?" The 92 year old is sitting at
the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head
and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful," as she knocked on her
wooden table for good measure. " She then yells, "I'll come up and help both
of you as soon as I see who's at the door."
_______________________________________________
"I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!"
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March
day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?" "No," the second man
replied, "it's Thursday." And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have
a beer."
___________________________________________
WHAT A CHOICE
A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home. As
she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say, "Supersex."
She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him,
she said, "Supersex." He sat silently for a moment or two and finally
answered, "I'll take the soup."
____________________________________________
OLD FRIENDS
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they
had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities
had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day, they
were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad
at me . I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of
your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me
what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she
just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to
know?"
_____________________________________________
SENIOR DRIVING
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just
heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77.
Please be careful!" "Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's
hundreds of them!"
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