Good Wednesday morning, Absville!
Hey Lisa – made it through another day AF yesterday! I must say it is wonderful to wake up every morning without a hangover. And it is nice to keep turning in time sheets without sick leave (aka hangover leave) on them. Eek. Oh well, water under the bridge, I suppose.
Anyway I’m beginning to feel that I’m settling into a new routine with sobriety. I’m breaking old patterns. I’m getting more used to coming home and filling my time with things other than drinking after work, so I’m not missing it that much right now. I’ve been getting up each morning and spending about an hour reading your posts here – and it’s time well spent, as it’s time dedicated to my recovery. And as for weekends, I’ve broken my old pattern and established new ones as well. Instead of Saturday being a day of recovering from Friday night’s debauchery, it is my day of getting work done around the house. And Sunday is church and NAP day – spiritual renewal and physical rest.
All that is to say that I’m noticing how the rhythm of my life is changing. We all have our routines, our rhythms, that we get into. We have our day-to-day rhythm and it gives us a sense of security. When we are drinking, that becomes part of the rhythm, and even though it’s unhealthy, we are comforted by it. Changing that rhythm can be unsettling at first, but it can also be very rewarding.
Neil – you talk about how you turned your life around 300 days ago when you stopped drinking and smoking and started exercising. That required a massive shift in the rhythm of your life. Maybe it didn’t happen overnight but it sounds as if you made the shift pretty quickly. And you made a commitment and have stuck by it. It also required a reversal of your thinking. I recall what you said about your calendar: how you were initially marking the days you drank, and then you started marking the days you exercised. You turned a negative into a positive.
Besides the daily rhythms, the routines we choose for ourselves, we are also at the mercy of the natural rhythms of life. We deal with the seasons, we have hormonal rhythms (yes, even men do), our energy waxes and wanes, we age, we watch children grow up and leave home, we lose loved ones. Our moods come and go like the tides. These are all a part of the larger rhythm of the universe itself. It’s all as natural as the sun coming up every morning and setting every night.
It seems that we expect that we should always be at the top of our game. We think we should be chipper, energetic, happy. But that’s just not the way we’re built. We are sometimes going to be lethargic, sad, or grumpy. Sometimes we are going to be sick, or feel like crying, or be lonely. And that is all OK. Those feelings come and they go. What’s important is how we react and what we do with them. Do we let them cause us to panic? Do we freak out and make rash decisions when we feel sad? It’s just part of the rhythm of life. Sometimes the best thing we can do when we feel this way is just go ahead and cry. Or laugh. Or throw something. But always, take a deep breath and remember that it really is OK.
Well who am I to say that it’s all OK? I’m just some guy sitting at a computer typing out some random thoughts late at night up in the wilds of Alaska. But I’ve had my share of the ups and downs of life, and not once has drinking helped in any of those situations. Not once.
So I guess the question of the day is – besides drinking, how do you deal with the rhythms of life? Whether you are talking about the day-to-day routine, which can get monotonous or stressful, or the more out-of-your-control kind of rhythm (hormones, feelings, life events), what can you do to stay centered and sane that doesn’t involve drinking?
I’m asking this for selfish reasons, you see. Because I really don’t know how I am going to do it for very long. I have some coping skills, but not many. So I’m asking for your advice. When I get bored with my new routine, or when I start feeling blue, I’m not sure how I’ll handle it. That’s why I’d really like to know your thoughts on the subject.
Or, of course, whatever you want to talk about.
Hey Lisa – made it through another day AF yesterday! I must say it is wonderful to wake up every morning without a hangover. And it is nice to keep turning in time sheets without sick leave (aka hangover leave) on them. Eek. Oh well, water under the bridge, I suppose.
Anyway I’m beginning to feel that I’m settling into a new routine with sobriety. I’m breaking old patterns. I’m getting more used to coming home and filling my time with things other than drinking after work, so I’m not missing it that much right now. I’ve been getting up each morning and spending about an hour reading your posts here – and it’s time well spent, as it’s time dedicated to my recovery. And as for weekends, I’ve broken my old pattern and established new ones as well. Instead of Saturday being a day of recovering from Friday night’s debauchery, it is my day of getting work done around the house. And Sunday is church and NAP day – spiritual renewal and physical rest.
All that is to say that I’m noticing how the rhythm of my life is changing. We all have our routines, our rhythms, that we get into. We have our day-to-day rhythm and it gives us a sense of security. When we are drinking, that becomes part of the rhythm, and even though it’s unhealthy, we are comforted by it. Changing that rhythm can be unsettling at first, but it can also be very rewarding.
Neil – you talk about how you turned your life around 300 days ago when you stopped drinking and smoking and started exercising. That required a massive shift in the rhythm of your life. Maybe it didn’t happen overnight but it sounds as if you made the shift pretty quickly. And you made a commitment and have stuck by it. It also required a reversal of your thinking. I recall what you said about your calendar: how you were initially marking the days you drank, and then you started marking the days you exercised. You turned a negative into a positive.
Besides the daily rhythms, the routines we choose for ourselves, we are also at the mercy of the natural rhythms of life. We deal with the seasons, we have hormonal rhythms (yes, even men do), our energy waxes and wanes, we age, we watch children grow up and leave home, we lose loved ones. Our moods come and go like the tides. These are all a part of the larger rhythm of the universe itself. It’s all as natural as the sun coming up every morning and setting every night.
It seems that we expect that we should always be at the top of our game. We think we should be chipper, energetic, happy. But that’s just not the way we’re built. We are sometimes going to be lethargic, sad, or grumpy. Sometimes we are going to be sick, or feel like crying, or be lonely. And that is all OK. Those feelings come and they go. What’s important is how we react and what we do with them. Do we let them cause us to panic? Do we freak out and make rash decisions when we feel sad? It’s just part of the rhythm of life. Sometimes the best thing we can do when we feel this way is just go ahead and cry. Or laugh. Or throw something. But always, take a deep breath and remember that it really is OK.
Well who am I to say that it’s all OK? I’m just some guy sitting at a computer typing out some random thoughts late at night up in the wilds of Alaska. But I’ve had my share of the ups and downs of life, and not once has drinking helped in any of those situations. Not once.
So I guess the question of the day is – besides drinking, how do you deal with the rhythms of life? Whether you are talking about the day-to-day routine, which can get monotonous or stressful, or the more out-of-your-control kind of rhythm (hormones, feelings, life events), what can you do to stay centered and sane that doesn’t involve drinking?
I’m asking this for selfish reasons, you see. Because I really don’t know how I am going to do it for very long. I have some coping skills, but not many. So I’m asking for your advice. When I get bored with my new routine, or when I start feeling blue, I’m not sure how I’ll handle it. That’s why I’d really like to know your thoughts on the subject.
Or, of course, whatever you want to talk about.
He was short, overweight and wore suspenders too!:H 
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