Good Thursday morning Absville,
For those of us who work Monday through Friday, we?ve made it through ?hump day.? (Yeah!!) I?m working on two big projects, and starting to feel a bit drained. (as I usually do at this point in the week).
Now that I?m not going through the daily cycle of drinking and suffering terrible hangovers, I?m much more in touch with what my body is telling me. I can more easily recognize when I feel well rested or tired, full or hungry, nervous or calm. I guess that while I was drinking I really only had three basic states of physical being: drinking, drunk, or hung over. There weren?t very many long stretches of ?in-between? time for my body to establish any kind of equilibrium.
Which brings me to today?s topic, which is: how are we all feeling physically? How is our physical progress affecting our abstinence goals? How are our abstinence efforts changing the way we feel physically?
One of the things that attracted me to My Way Out was the fact that it was a holistic program, with a heavy focus on the physical aspects of the alcohol problem. I just knew there had to be physical roots ? and therefore physical treatments ? for my alcohol abuse. I had tried AA before, and got some very good things out of it, but was amazed that no one in AA ever talked about diet, exercise, supplements, etc. Reading RJ?s book was a revelation to me: I didn?t realize there were medications that could help reduce cravings. (I knew about Antabuse, and knew I would just not take it when I planned on drinking?.) So the idea of a medication, along with supplements, behavior modification, and exercise really seemed like a great combination. What makes it even better is that each person can modify it to fit their own situation and goals.
So I?ve chosen (through trial and error) to go with long-term abstinence and am very happy with that choice. I have chosen to use Topamax, which has helped tremendously with reducing cravings to almost nil. I?ve chosen to take vitamins, kudzu, extra L-Glutamine and Gaba. (Don?t know exactly what these do, but I assume they must help.) So far I haven?t begun exercising, except that I try & work in a walk here and there.
Now, at 22 days sober, I?m waking up early and feeling quite energetic in the mornings. I?m able to work hard throughout the day ? often without a break, which I realize is not a good thing. I find that I don?t have much of an appetite in the mornings any more and often skip breakfast. (Is this the topa? I used to eat breakfast every day.) I eat a light lunch and a medium to regular sized dinner. I have lost 8 pounds in about 6 weeks and wouldn?t mind losing another 5 to 8 pounds, but am not really trying. I find that I am tired quite early and often go to bed by 9 PM.
So I guess I would say that I feel good, but a bit off kilter. I think my body is still trying to adjust to the changes it is undergoing ? no alcohol, and maybe the topa is throwing me for a loop with the loss of appetite and the tiredness in the afternoon and early evening. I know I need to drink more water too. But in any event, I am better off than I was when consuming a fifth of vodka every other night, that?s for sure. So ? I need to drink more water and start exercising. Oh, yeah ? and stop smoking. That?s the other biggie. I am going to do that, but I?m cutting myself some slack. One thing at a time, Mike.
I know that in the past, whenever I felt my body taking a swing in any direction, that was a trigger for me to drink. Too much energy? Have a drink. Hungry? Have a drink. Tired? Have a drink. I don?t really have those cravings any more ? I honestly think the Topamax is responsible for that ? but I have accepted that drinking isn?t an option for me anyway. So today when I feel my body swinging from energetic to tired to hungry to whatever, I just have to go with it and hang on for the ride. It?s interesting to observe, and give it what it really needs at the time, rather than feed it the poison that I did for so long. That poison just masked the hunger or fatigue, but didn?t satisfy any real need. And it certainly didn?t do my body any good that I can possibly imagine. But food and rest are what it?s asking for ? so that is what I will give it. (I know, it?s easier said than done when you have that demon right on your back.)
I?m curious how the rest of you are doing. Are you tired? Are you energetic? Do you feel better or worse than when you were drinking? Is what you are doing making a difference? Is your physical state helping or hindering your abstinence goal?
So much of this program is really about the physical aspects of our disease, and its treatment, that I thought we should spend some time talking about it.
For those of us who work Monday through Friday, we?ve made it through ?hump day.? (Yeah!!) I?m working on two big projects, and starting to feel a bit drained. (as I usually do at this point in the week).
Now that I?m not going through the daily cycle of drinking and suffering terrible hangovers, I?m much more in touch with what my body is telling me. I can more easily recognize when I feel well rested or tired, full or hungry, nervous or calm. I guess that while I was drinking I really only had three basic states of physical being: drinking, drunk, or hung over. There weren?t very many long stretches of ?in-between? time for my body to establish any kind of equilibrium.
Which brings me to today?s topic, which is: how are we all feeling physically? How is our physical progress affecting our abstinence goals? How are our abstinence efforts changing the way we feel physically?
One of the things that attracted me to My Way Out was the fact that it was a holistic program, with a heavy focus on the physical aspects of the alcohol problem. I just knew there had to be physical roots ? and therefore physical treatments ? for my alcohol abuse. I had tried AA before, and got some very good things out of it, but was amazed that no one in AA ever talked about diet, exercise, supplements, etc. Reading RJ?s book was a revelation to me: I didn?t realize there were medications that could help reduce cravings. (I knew about Antabuse, and knew I would just not take it when I planned on drinking?.) So the idea of a medication, along with supplements, behavior modification, and exercise really seemed like a great combination. What makes it even better is that each person can modify it to fit their own situation and goals.
So I?ve chosen (through trial and error) to go with long-term abstinence and am very happy with that choice. I have chosen to use Topamax, which has helped tremendously with reducing cravings to almost nil. I?ve chosen to take vitamins, kudzu, extra L-Glutamine and Gaba. (Don?t know exactly what these do, but I assume they must help.) So far I haven?t begun exercising, except that I try & work in a walk here and there.
Now, at 22 days sober, I?m waking up early and feeling quite energetic in the mornings. I?m able to work hard throughout the day ? often without a break, which I realize is not a good thing. I find that I don?t have much of an appetite in the mornings any more and often skip breakfast. (Is this the topa? I used to eat breakfast every day.) I eat a light lunch and a medium to regular sized dinner. I have lost 8 pounds in about 6 weeks and wouldn?t mind losing another 5 to 8 pounds, but am not really trying. I find that I am tired quite early and often go to bed by 9 PM.
So I guess I would say that I feel good, but a bit off kilter. I think my body is still trying to adjust to the changes it is undergoing ? no alcohol, and maybe the topa is throwing me for a loop with the loss of appetite and the tiredness in the afternoon and early evening. I know I need to drink more water too. But in any event, I am better off than I was when consuming a fifth of vodka every other night, that?s for sure. So ? I need to drink more water and start exercising. Oh, yeah ? and stop smoking. That?s the other biggie. I am going to do that, but I?m cutting myself some slack. One thing at a time, Mike.
I know that in the past, whenever I felt my body taking a swing in any direction, that was a trigger for me to drink. Too much energy? Have a drink. Hungry? Have a drink. Tired? Have a drink. I don?t really have those cravings any more ? I honestly think the Topamax is responsible for that ? but I have accepted that drinking isn?t an option for me anyway. So today when I feel my body swinging from energetic to tired to hungry to whatever, I just have to go with it and hang on for the ride. It?s interesting to observe, and give it what it really needs at the time, rather than feed it the poison that I did for so long. That poison just masked the hunger or fatigue, but didn?t satisfy any real need. And it certainly didn?t do my body any good that I can possibly imagine. But food and rest are what it?s asking for ? so that is what I will give it. (I know, it?s easier said than done when you have that demon right on your back.)
I?m curious how the rest of you are doing. Are you tired? Are you energetic? Do you feel better or worse than when you were drinking? Is what you are doing making a difference? Is your physical state helping or hindering your abstinence goal?
So much of this program is really about the physical aspects of our disease, and its treatment, that I thought we should spend some time talking about it.
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