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    Maths

    ROMANCE MATHEMATICS:
    Smart man + smart woman = romance
    Smart man + dumb woman = affair
    Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
    Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
    OFFICE ARITHMETIC:
    Smart boss + smart employee = profit
    Smart boss + dumb employee = production
    Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
    Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
    SHOPPING MATHS:

    A man will pay ?2 for a ?1 item he needs.
    A woman will pay ?1 for a ?2 item that she doesn't need.
    GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
    A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
    HAPPINESS
    To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
    To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
    LONGEVITY
    Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
    PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
    DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

    A woman has the last word in any argument.
    Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
    HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

    Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals!
    I don't care who you are...Your not walking on water while i'm fishing..
    One drink is too many... A thousand is never enough...Sober since July 2nd 2009

    #2
    Maths

    Very funny, Macks!!
    AF as of August 5th, 2012

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      #3
      Maths

      mackamus you are too funny

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        #4
        Maths

        Love the funeral one!
        sigpic
        Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
        awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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