Wednesday, October 18

[YoungAtHeart]

Good Morning Abbers!

I hope you all had a good rest and are ready to face your day. I'm having a rather difficult time thinking up anything profound for a topic at the moment. So I guess I'll just tell you where I'm at. I'm feeling peaceful, tired, and not too many thoughts are in my head right now.

I've come through some major stressors in the last few weeks, some good, like my sister's visits and all of the good work we've done, and some difficult, like dealing with my ex and resolving the financial situation with him to my satisfaction. That has been very difficult to deal with and has stirred up a lot of feelings in me, because it hasn't only been a matter of working things out with him--it has also meant a lot of soul searching and battling with myself. Of course, you all know, too, about my dealing with my feelings about my daughter's growing up and getting ready for college! Your Mayor is feeling pretty drained right now!!

I have been having a lot of dreams, and I have been using them to guide me in understanding my true heart about how I feel. I also sometimes have some incredible insights into how I feel in those moments when I have just woken up before "rational" thinking takes over. I try to hang onto those thoughts and feelings to stay in touch with who I really am inside to help to guide me in my decisions.

We all have lots of things that we are dealing in our lives--feelings, issues, problems to solve. Things that demand patience, maturity, perspective. We're doing it without falling back on alcohol or numbing ourselves. (At least most of the time for me! )

What are you trying to deal with these days? What's it like doing it without alcohol?

Hoping you have a wonderful day!

Hugs,
Kathy:l

[Paddy]

Wednesday, October 18

Hang in there Kathy

Sorry to hear that. Life's not always easy on us, ey? But I guess, the best thing is to focus on the positive. We have life. And where there's life, there's hope. It's probably time for you to set new goals - like post-relationship/daughter-off-to-college cope-mechanisms

I've been sober for 3 days now, and I'm enjoying it. Finally getting back some self-respect. Even thinking of starting off a new relationship with my ex (a relationship which fell apart a few years ago, due to family pressure from her side - that's life in Asia, everyone's in everybody's business). Anyway, things seem to have settled, and we're ready to give it another go. So, all the more reasons to stay 'on the wagon'. Doing some distance learning as well, to keep me busy. Even though my job should keep me busy already. But you know how it is. You get home in the evenings, and that's when the alcohol demons come to plague you ...

Anyway, hang in there. You're not alone.:l

[mikeupnorth]

Wednesday, October 18

Good morning,

For not being able to come up with a topic, you've managed to come up with a good one, Kathy. Wouldn't it be nice if we could say, "Um, excuse me Life, but I'm really working hard to stay sober right now, and don't have the bandwidth to deal with anything else except that for let's say, the next 6 months at least. So if you don't mind, don't send anything too stressful my way during that time. Check back with me then and see how I'm doing and we'll talk about it." HA! If only we could. A 6-month vacation from all other stresses, to concentrate solely on staying sober. I am sure my brain could manufacture something to be stressed about. That is where half of my stress -- no, more like 80% of it -- comes from anyway.

Today is my 30th day without a drink (yeah!). I haven't gone this long without a drink in at least the last couple of years. And I honestly do not find myself consciously wanting one, or missing it. I say "consciously" because I don't have a craving that I am aware of, but I do feel stressed and just.... not quite right. I am not sure if the "not quite right" is due to not drinking, or if it's the topa, or I'm just wigged out about work right now, or what. Probably a combo. But I am hyper-aware of how I'm feeling, and very much on guard as I don't want to fall into any thinking that will make me conclude that drinking is justifiable, beneficial, or otherwise even possible for me. Any time the thought has crossed my mind I practice saying to myself: "That is not an option." I then move on. I don't dwell on the issue: I don't want to feed it energy.

My biggest stressor right now is work. I won't bore you with all the details but suffice it to say that I really love my job and don't want to leave, but have been really working myself silly just to keep up. By mid-afternoon I start feeling quite tense, and by the time I get home I am both exhausted and irritable. I recognize now that I used to "solve" this by drinking. Now I solve it by eating and going to bed early. Then I wake up at 4:00 AM. That just gives me a chance to start my next day off that much earlier (not such a bad thing, really -- better than drinking). I recognize that an exercise program would be just the ticket to break this cycle.

And I have come up with an idea to reduce the stress at work -- I am going to suggest a reorganization that will take some of the responsibility off my shoulders, and I am in a posiiton to do it. I've already run the idea by my department head and she agrees that it's a good idea. It will take some of the smaller day-to-day stuff and put it under a new supervisor who will report to me. That way I can get a weekly synopsis, rather than putting out all the fires myself. Now I just have to re-write a job description and get the job rolling....

All in all, life is good and things are going well. I just have to get past this little hump in the road. It's a small thing compared to what many people in the world are dealing with. And I try and remember to take it a day at a time, although that is easier said than done sometimes.

Hope you all have a good day ~

Mike

PS Congrats on Day 3 Paddy!

[southernbelle47]

Wednesday, October 18

Good morning Absville,

Oh mannnnnnnn!! I was sure that if I got up this early, I would get the prize! Oh well..maybe tomorrow! I could use a spa vacation!

Hey Kathy........looks like to me that you have come along way with your "dealing " with things! Having your sis there will be good I think. You know, with Mandy going off to school and all.
I'm happy the x thing went well.

:welcome: Paddy.........looks like you get the prize today!!

My doc visit went well yesterday. I have a uti.....gave me an antibotic and I'll be better very soon. I even feel some better already. I knew it had to be something. I just wasn't bouncing back after all the wedding stuff.

I'm off to have some fun and "girl time" with a very good and longtime friend today. She lives in Atlanta now but we "talk" alot. When we do get together, it's like no time has passed. She doesn't drink so that will not be an issue.

This has been a good AF week for me

My coping tool box:

Prayer- relationship with my Father
A good friend
All of you
Books to read
Eating "slow" food
Water
Sleep-rest
Growing-picking flowers and "slow" food
Work
Baths
Doing something for someone- randon acts of kindness

OK.going back to bed for a snooze.....
:h to all who come here.......post or no!!!!
Nancy & Belle

[southernbelle47]

Wednesday, October 18

Hi Mike.......we were posting at the same time!
I hope work goes well for you today. Don't forget to take time to eat.

Nancy

[Mackeral]

Wednesday, October 18

Good Morning all,
Morning Kathy and Paddy,Kathy, i did have a good rest last night thankyou...A bit to good..We woke up late this morning and its like a mad house here in the morning when we wake up on time...So you can imagine what this morning was like...

I had a bit of a tough night last night...Man utd where playing on the telly....I used to love watching the match with a few cans....but thats something i've spoiled for myself now...I cant do that anymore...I enjoyed the match..but its not quite the same.

Right....What am i dealing with and how am i dealing with it without alcahol?....Well, like you've said before Kathy, its quite stressful having such a housefull...In the past, when all the kids had gone to bed that would be my time to open a can...I think what i was doing is just throwing as much down my neck as possible to try and switch my brain off if you like...I just wanted to be numb,and not care about anything....Like a lot of people here i am a real worrier...Drink helped to block all the worrys.....But they dont go away.

As for dealing with it without alcahol..I suppose i have to face my worrys...Address my problems...stop hiding...
Drink was a bit like a comfort blanket to me...Its time to grow up.

Paddy, nice to see you here in Absville....Paddy dosnt really sound like an Asian name...( i could be wrong )...Congrats on day 3...and it is nice to get some self respect back isnt it?

Be back later...Have a good day Abberdabbers....Mack

[pussycat]

Wednesday, October 18

Hey Kathy..

As you know. I'm new but I think that you are doing some good work.
Staying with uncomfortable feelings and trying to sort them out is critical for staying mentally healthy. Trying to push those feelings away is what gets people like me drinking. I'm very impressed with your strength and resilience. My shrink is always telling me to do just what you're doing.
Keep up the good work that you're doing!
P.C.

[Mackeral]

Wednesday, October 18

We were posting at the same time Mike and Nancy...I'm rushing out the door at the moment....Hope you both have a good day....Speak later...Macks

[Mackeral]

Wednesday, October 18

And you Pussycat....I'll get out the door in a minute

[YoungAtHeart]

Wednesday, October 18

Hello Again!

That's right, Paddy wins the prize for the first to post today. And Paddy, since your wish is to work things out with your ex, your prize will be an all-expense -paid 10-day holiday at an alcohol free resort of your choosing. AWAY FROM ASIA, OF COURSE!!!! The two of you will have a suite with several rooms so that you can be together in luxury and also have alone time to think. You won't have to worry about ANYTHING, including meddlesome relatives! How does that sound??? You can talk things over at your leisure and figure out how to make things work better this time! Just let me know where you want to go, and I'll send you there in my magic bubble. It's much quicker than an airplane and no security check points either! Since you're new to Absville, I'll let you know that I got my magic bubble a while back in an earlier topic on general discussion. I'm like Glenda, the witch of the North from the Wizard of Oz.

While we're at it, for those of you new to Absville, everyone here gets a house and a profession/career/job of their choice. You pick your house--make it the house of your dreams! You can paint it any color that you want! I own a quilting and crafts shop and my house is painted turquoise blue (what a surprise)! So DARE TO DREAM!

And congrats on DAY 3 Paddy!

Day 30, Mike! Wow! I think you need a special prize too! What is your wish? If I recall correctly, you had done quite a few AF days before that too. You're starting to get pretty good at this sobriety thing. Not that I think you can let your guard down either, but you are really working things well, my dear! Well done. I also think you have come up with a great plan at work! A little delegation never hurt anyone, and it can save us a lot of grief and anxiety.

Unless we are perfectionists. How many of us are??? "I have to do it myself or it won't get done right?" I know on the surface, I sometimes look pretty relaxed, but it's a disguise. I sometimes don't do things at all, because I'm afriad I won't do them up to my standards. Or I'm afraid to delegate, cause it won't get done the way I want it to. That has caused me a lot of stress. Do I see any nods of recognition there???

Nancy, I'm glad you are off to your girlfriend. You deserve some relatively AF time. Isn't it wonderful to have friends like your girlfriend? Even though the years pass, it's like the time doesn't. The friendship remains the same. And also, I am feeling awfully generous today, so a spa vacation awaits you upon your return home! Just for being you!:heart:

Hi, Macks, I would imagine that you could do a lot of worrying with a lot of kids! My experience is that most worries don't come true--they are just that--worries. You have done a good job staying away from alcohol despite your worries; keep up the good work. I know it was probably weird watching the match without a can. I felt the same way on the computer at first and when I was watching football. I used to write my casenotes and drink wine on Sundays when I watched football games. I think eventually you will get used to it if you stick with it. If you can, try and think of it as learning a new habit, and have confidence that you CAN LEARN a new habit. It's just weird at first.:sigh:

Thanks for being impressed with me, Pussycat. I'm trying, but my feelings catch up with me periodically and whoops, I'm down on my butt again! The good news is that I get up much quicker now. I'm with you on the therapy issue. I've been in therapy more years than I care to count, LOL, and I recently asked my therapist, "What is this, 'til death do us part?' " She's actually great though and has been very patient and tolerant while watching me slip and slide my way toward a greater understanding of myself and toward a sober life. I'm going to go read the other thread you wrote and try to respond, okay?

Anyway, I've been in consultation with Mike about our party on Friday night. Who all is coming, anyway? Do you want to have an actual party on chat, or just a fantasy party on the forum? My thought was to have an elegant dinner party with a lovely selection of AF beverages, and then dancing with a great band, but I fear that I have overwhelmed my co-mayor Mike with my menu planning. What are your thoughts??? I'll start a separate thread for the event planning.

Love to all!
Kathy:l

[Guest]

Wednesday, October 18

HAPPY 30 DAYS MIKE!!! Great job. I have a lot of faith in you that you'll continue to rise above this.
I've been tremendously stressed over the past 2 weeks regarding my work situation. It was 2 weeks ago today that I had the blow up with my old boss (the OB/Gyn doc). I have been able to come to terms and acceptance over that situation without alcohol. I chose not to go back to that enviroment one day/week through careful reflection of my thoughts. If I was drinking, I don't think I could handle this as I have. I'd probably be emailing him nasty messages or going back to work there again...and continue to numb myself. My boss at the hospital is still out sick. I was able to make a little headway yesterday. My charge wants me back NOW, so she stepped in and got the paperwork rolling. Hopefully, I'll be back to work on Monday!!
I will have to be on guard when all of this is over with. I tend to like to celebrate all the little accomplishments and often end up ruining the joy with drinking. Enjoying my Coach's oats and green machine smoothie this am. Going to a 9 am wt training class at the gym. Be back later....Gina

[mikeupnorth]

Wednesday, October 18

Hi all,

A quick hello before heading off to the salt mines...

Will stop in for a longer visit when I get home.

Looking forward to the party on Friday!!

Mike

[TracyA]

Wednesday, October 18

I'm on day 1. I knew I was walking on the edge. Had my own little party yesterday and feel like an idiot today.

Had a blast in chat though. Some folks here are crazier sober than I am after several beers.

Did some online shopping for stuff I didn't need. It's bad enough to do binge shopping when sober, it's like an alternate addiction. But with online shopping, both addictions come out and play together - which is really dang dangerous! :egad:

Topa will not be here for at least 10 more days, maybe more.

I'm looking at today trying to decide what to do next. I don't have class until 5:45 tonight and don't have to work. I could study if my brain wasn't encased in a dense fog. It better come out of that fog because I have a test tomorrow evening. Part of me just wants to go buy more beer. Part of me knows better.

Congrats Paddy and Mike.

Kathy, good for you for hanging in. Drinking does not help.

Hope everyone finds some peace in their day.

Tracy

[Mackeral]

Wednesday, October 18

Good man Mike on 30 days....Did it go fast or drag for you?

[gabby]

Wednesday, October 18

Happy 30 Mike