my girlfriend has a drinking problem which has now become mine . i say that because of the rules i've established in the past month .
a brief history:
she and i would drink together, or she alone . we have a great relationship , but 95% of our arguments were a direct result of her alcohol intake . she's so mean and hurtful when she's drunk .
there is no in between for her . it's either sober or blasted .
about a month ago , she drank 9 beers in two hours , which resulted in one of our biggest arguments in our 4 year relationship . after all was said and done , she promised me she was never drinking again for fear of losing me .
i told her i did not want that promise , because i didn't believe it , and , a promise like that should be made to herself .
i made my own promise to her : as soon as she had that first beer in her hand , that was my cutoff for speaking to her until the next day .
all went well for about 2 weeks until she lashed out one day insisting that if i can still drink , it should be okay for her to have a beer . i obviously cannot tell her what to do , but confirmed my promise to myself that i would not be present when she's drinking . i told her i would not drink anymore to support her in her efforts .
well . . . one beer to "wind down" has turned into the past 2 nights out of three of her coming home completely smashed .
i've never felt this way about anyone as far as romantic feelings go ; she's the one . i'm completely in love with her .
i'm stuck . i'm so in love with her but i feel like i miss her because it's the same pattern where she's a completely different person and i don't have that time with her .
in addition to all of this , her mother has serious alcohol abuse issues . it's definitely genetic . on one hand she'll break down and tell her how horrible that aspect is with her mother , but it's usually when she's holding a beer .
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO .
i'm asking for advice on some natural and/or psychological methods to help her cut down on/stop drinking .
do i ask her to go to AA meetings and i'd go with her ? do i sit her down again and tell her everything i've already talked about with her time and time again ? i don't know .
people will only stop when they're ready , and she said she was ready for fear of losing me . but that's gone .
please help me .
a brief history:
she and i would drink together, or she alone . we have a great relationship , but 95% of our arguments were a direct result of her alcohol intake . she's so mean and hurtful when she's drunk .
there is no in between for her . it's either sober or blasted .
about a month ago , she drank 9 beers in two hours , which resulted in one of our biggest arguments in our 4 year relationship . after all was said and done , she promised me she was never drinking again for fear of losing me .
i told her i did not want that promise , because i didn't believe it , and , a promise like that should be made to herself .
i made my own promise to her : as soon as she had that first beer in her hand , that was my cutoff for speaking to her until the next day .
all went well for about 2 weeks until she lashed out one day insisting that if i can still drink , it should be okay for her to have a beer . i obviously cannot tell her what to do , but confirmed my promise to myself that i would not be present when she's drinking . i told her i would not drink anymore to support her in her efforts .
well . . . one beer to "wind down" has turned into the past 2 nights out of three of her coming home completely smashed .
i've never felt this way about anyone as far as romantic feelings go ; she's the one . i'm completely in love with her .
i'm stuck . i'm so in love with her but i feel like i miss her because it's the same pattern where she's a completely different person and i don't have that time with her .
in addition to all of this , her mother has serious alcohol abuse issues . it's definitely genetic . on one hand she'll break down and tell her how horrible that aspect is with her mother , but it's usually when she's holding a beer .
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO .
i'm asking for advice on some natural and/or psychological methods to help her cut down on/stop drinking .
do i ask her to go to AA meetings and i'd go with her ? do i sit her down again and tell her everything i've already talked about with her time and time again ? i don't know .
people will only stop when they're ready , and she said she was ready for fear of losing me . but that's gone .
please help me .
Comment