Friday, October 27

[xtexan]

Hello everyone:

Somethings been nagging at me all day. I mean incessantly. I wanted to start this, with this nagging question.

Lets say you won the big lottery. I mean you won like the powerball jackpot. After all the taxes, and stuff, you have over $100 million dollars free and clear to do with as you please.

If you have been abstinent for several months now, would you start drinkiing again? I mean, you would be not bound by responsibilities. All your wants and needs would be taken care of by servants, driving would be done by a chauffeur, etc. All that money to spend. No job to burden you. Just everything you could want that can be bought with money, is now at your whim.

No medical cost worries. No worries of losing a job. What would you do? I have been wrestling with this one all day, and I still have not come up with a resolution. I keep thinking about that movie "Arthur", where Dudley Moore is set to inherit $750 million dollars, and he is a happy, giddy drunk.

Think about it, and let me know what you think you would do.

Neil

[Guest]

Friday, October 27

you and I think alike

When I was drinking I wished for this--ah no worries. My answer is no. All the money in the world would not fix the way I felt inside and about myself. Not to mention the awful hangovers. There are plenty of rich and miserable people in this world.

I still wish for it to happen, but for new reasons. I could be free to do the job I wanted--which would be opening up a yoga studio, with all sorts of holistic things going on. I would have the $$ to first open one up, have the time to take teacher training and keep it going--even though most yoga studios barely break even. Another dream of mine is to become a certified teacher and volunteer my time to at risk youth or battered woman.

You are right on target with something I was thinking about earlier. A woman started a statement tonight. "I have a problem that I don't think I am at risk of going out and drinking over, but I need to talk about it". I got to thinking about even though I may not drink over this or that--but I can still be as sick as I was drinking, just without the drink. I truly believe that excessive drinking is a sympton--not the root cause. I was thinking about 2 people at work that rent more time in my head than I should allow--this keeps me sick. But also, unfilled dreams can also keep me sick. Which lead me to thinking, well, my dreams may never become realities, but if I don't at least begin to point myself in the right direction they definitely will never happen.

So today I am thinking about what is important to me, if I never had to worry about money what would I be doing--and how can I work my schedule to include some of those things. I have two young kids, and I do LOVE being a mom--so maybe some of those dreams need to be put on hold--but it doesn't mean that they will never happen.

Kim

And if you are snooping around today Lori--I love you--we will talk soon!

[Guest]

Friday, October 27

bump

bump

[dilayne]

Friday, October 27

Good morning Neil.
I've thought about this often..mainly because I spent a good many years imprisoned by financial concerns..having kids young, being a single mother..there never really was enough..I never believed there would be enough..as soon as there would be money though, I would spend it..just to insure the continued drama. My husband and I accumulated a good amount of debt over a few years..for various reasons on top of mere survival..he got sick a couple of times and had to be out of work..he's a carpenter and I'm an artist..we don't make a lot of money..Finally we were forced to do go through a debt consolidation program, which we did over the last 3 or 4 years...just this year we paid off all but one credit card. We have a long way to go as far as feeling financially secure..our retirement plan is simple..pay off the mortgage, take care of our health are the two major things we can do..we have no savings, no IRAs...

What I'm trying to say is that I learned that my relationship with money is just a reflection of something that goes on deeper inside..if I'm feeling spiritually bankrupt (I think that is an AA term) then I'm probably experiencing some fianancial form of bankruptcy..and all the money in the world won't correct that. If I'm in that place...I'll find some way to sabotage it and recreate my situation..I'll make bad investments, I'll give it away...I just may do it (in Eckhart Tolle's words) in more luxurious surroundings.

I don't think I would drink again at this stage...just because I know that it isn't about what I have on the outside..and that looking back, I've learned so much from having to work my way out of a deep financial pit...it's really been a gift..just like the addiction has been in many ways...of course, I can say that from this side of the fence. I know there was definitely a time that a lottery winning may just be the thing to have me drink..but in hindsight I see why...to drink would be the perfect way to sabotage the winnings, and myself..once again..I guess I've done it enough times to know the cost of it. BUT, I've never won the lottery, SO I can't honestly say what I would do..money stuff goes really deep...I suspect that the 'wolf', as we are speaking about on another thread, could become pretty cunning under those circumstances..or another player may be activated in service to the ego..and that would be the archetype, the 'trickster', who might try pretty hard to tell me that I could get away with it.

Sorry this is so long...you all just get me going! :0)
Namaste, and have a wonderful day
Di

AF 11 days, Goal is Abstinence and to eat better, resume regular exercise, drink more water and meditate

[MonaCat]

Friday, October 27

Interesting question you pose Neil.
In my mind money and my drinking problem have no relationship.
If I had limitless funds, I'd make AF easier, like go to spas, have massages, have my own personal trainer, my own hypnotist.

[dilayne]

Friday, October 27

MonaCat..Oh yessss, wouldn't that be lovely!
Lady Di says Hi! :0)

[xtexan]

Friday, October 27

Thanks to all for replies so far.

I guess in my own mind, it's the long term goals. I would like to believe 100% that if I had a monster windfall of money, that it would enable me to have an even easier time being AF.

Even now, I have enough in my retirement account to quit right now, and just live much as I have been the last 20 years or so. But I want more. I want my retirment years to be VERY comfortable. Dreams of travel, and big boats and things. I've been living my day to day life below my financial means for years. The extra has all been socked away in retirement accounts.

It's just that I am not 100% sure that's what I would do, if suddenly I had $100,000,000. Maybe I'm only 90% sure that I would continue AF. After all, I've gone over 10 months now. But as Kate stated, if you become brutally honest with yourself, and really consider the possibility, what's the answer?

This is about exploring the deep reasons why we all drink, or have drank to destruction in the past. It's about what sobriety really means. Is there a dollar value that can be assigned to sobriety? I mean, in the real world of insurance, and lawsuits, and all that unpleasant stuff, human lives are routinely assigned a dollar amount.

I guess I really need to re-examine some deeper things here. Being brutally honest and all with myself. Thats something a hard drinker never does you know. A hard drinker always finds ways to lie to themselves, and I got to be quite the world class BS'er in that regard. I had years to polish my act.

Pondering,

Neil

[mikeupnorth]

Friday, October 27

This is a good one, Neil.

On the one hand, I think "What does money have to do with anything?"

On the other, I realize that the kind of windfall you are talking about would be pretty shocking to the system. I have visions of yachts and champagne and bathing suits and lots of food.

Money does some strange things to people and their priorities.

I'm with Kate on this one: I would like to think I would stay AF, but I can't say that I KNOW at this stage of the game that I would.

What I do know is this: the money would not make being an alcoholic any less miserable, and I hope I would remember that.

[spacie]

Friday, October 27

Money could by me oxygen chamber, a massage therapist, personal trainers, and pain medication, but I'd still feel dreadful and non-productive. Lots of money or no money I hope to never go back to boozing up.

What money could do for me, my family and friends is provide a sense of security a little more comfort, and the opportunity to help those less fortunate. Oh a couple of nice cars, an island, an airplane...

[chunkalunka]

Friday, October 27

haha

Yessssssss Of course! I would hire the biggest Limo and cruise with champagne in ice buckets magnums, i'd have botox, liposuction a boob job and more champagne ? U wanted a real answer u have one. Were all thinking it lets just say it. Man I would throw the kudzu in the bin chuck my job and cruise with a few bleached blond surfers, or maybe firemen, spraying me with champers ....... but I have to work. Shame.

[Guest]

Friday, October 27

part of me wants to say no to this question to offer hope to others (including myself) but i dont know.

i can honestly say i hope not but if i say i know i wont i feel like i'm putting myself at risk.
is my mind warped or what?
and kate.. dont bother buying a ticket for tonight.. i've got the winning ticket
kiss kiss
brigid

[xtexan]

Friday, October 27

Hi everybody:

OK, here is the kicker. This is the real meat of the matter, and what got me started on this.

Mel Gibson has a net worth of $850 million dollars.

Everybody on the planet by now, knows what happened to him.

This is pretty close to a billion dollars, and the guy is same age as me.

And that they say, is the name of that tune.

Neil

[Guest]

Friday, October 27

money

Your post reminded me of Micheal J. Fox. In his book he talks about his alcoholism--but what always stayed with me from that book--Living when no one will tell you no is very dangerous.

The really sad part of this with the Mel Gibson story--is its a classic example of how so many people have no clue what alcoholism can do to a person. I know in my drunken states I have said things that did not have an ounce of truth to them or reflected how I really felt. Thank God the media was never interested in any of my great performaces!

Kim

[SophieS]

Friday, October 27

I must be having a good day because when i thought about winning the lottery i thought No i wouldn't drink, I would party with orange juice and have a clear head to enjoy choosing the houses in Scotland, Tuscany and I quite fancy Boston. I wouldn't regret the shade of the Ferrari eithier...

I last posted when I was considering whether to allow myself to drink while on holiday. I guess a holiday can be like a minature lottery. I've decided not to. I think it is a big risk and not worth it. There are so many things I can enjoy other than drink. That's not to say Im scared about how much Im going to crave it especially with a husand who has beer for breakfast.

Can I ask what other people do when they are in a situation where they are craving? i run quite often but that is not always practical (high heels are a killer..). Do you use a quote, a memory or is it something like tapping yourself on the wrist?! i know we probably each find our own - im still trying to find the thing that will make this easier. Although Im doing well..

Sophie S

[southernbelle47]

Friday, October 27

Hi Sophie

A hubby who drinks beer for breakfast? That is a hard one to live with. Mine usually waits until noon!

What to do to stop a craving? Take the supps and go out and do some random act of kindness for someone in need. I don't take topa or any of that. I drink water and calming tea. Finding something to do with my hands helps ,like knitting or sewing. Reading interesting books that don't have people drinking in them is good.

Saint Augustine(354-430 AD) said:
"Habit if not resisted soon becomes necessity."
"Total abstinance is eaiser than perfect moderation".
"Patience is the companion of wisdom".
"Faith is to believe what we do not see; and the reward of this faith is to see what we believe".
Sophie.........Have faith that you can do this even with your hubby in the house. I do it and you can too.
God bless you.
Nancy