Don't know how to begin???

[LA Woman]

I am tired. So tired of leading my life this way. This is my first message here...I actually found the site by typing in "are there any alternatives to AA"?
Funny, I first quit drinking 5 years ago and it lasted 6 months plus I joined AA briefly. I never told my story at AA, just sat there and listened and said I am not like these people. Some had been homeless, prostitues, abusers, etc. I just drank a lot every day, but never hide it or pretend it does not exist...so where can I go?? It was so hard to quit all the way when society is so geared towards drinking...obviously I fell off the wagon and decided I would be moderate about things. That lasted for some time, but here I am again.
I am 35 years old...just married for the 1st time this last month. Wine is my drink of choice and my back up is Jim Beam. I typically drink a bottle a night, some more on the weekends depending if I am out or not. My husband and i have been together for some time, so he knows and he drinks just as much if not more every day. We enjoy drinking together- it's what we do. Sad when that is your only hobby...
He is coming home from work in an few and I am going to talk to him about changing our lifestyle. I want to be able to drink and not be mean, and not forget and not have migraines the next day. He is a fun drunk and can moderate...I don't know if I can...Any advice??
I have been drinking for 18 years and have lost many friends/boyfrinds/etc. due to it. I have been arrested for drunken driving. I forget more than I remember now, even when sober. I know alcohol damages brain cells...is that why?
Too many questions and I guess I am not making much sense. Thanks for listening out there!

[tawnyfrog]

Don't know how to begin???

Hi LA Woman:welcome:

Take a deep breath ... and start reading. Read as much as you can absorb and you'll find many stories that could have been written by you. We all know what you're talking about.

It's nice to take that first step. Hope to see you around. This is a good place to be.

Tawny

[skootiemom]

Don't know how to begin???

Lottery?

Wecome LA Woman,

I think I was googling " symptoms of alcohol withdrawl" a few Sundays ago- when "JACKPOT"! I found this site! I am sooooo glad to be here. I am reading and visiting everyday. I have the book on order and have started some of the supplements. I feel so good, and relieved that I don't have to accept AA as the only way to sobriety. I too love my wine, love drinking my wine with my hubby, who loves his wine... but man, I was so tired of the fog, the headaches, which are all fading from memory. THANKFULLY I look to those here everyday to keep me reminded that the alternative is no way to live.

Stick around- you might become addicted!

Skootie

[tumadre]

Don't know how to begin???

L.A. WOMAN-
I, too, have reached a point where I'm tired (and pretty concerned about those brain cells). You will find an abundant amount of support, humor and information here on this site. Keep reading/ask questions/tell your stories.
My husband and I have a relationship with alcohol...At the end of the day, it's our signal to "just stop". We get to sit down and relax. If we're traveling, we drink almost non-stop. It's a flirtation for us: "Can I buy you a drink?" is the cue that we want to spend some together.
Two years ago, I went cold Turkey. It became very clear to me that I had a biological craving for alcohol, and my husband, though dependent due to daily drinking, could actually just walk away without a great deal of unpleasantness. As supportive as he was then, he really couldn't understand the addiction.
This time, I'm trying moderation. It's different. He's being very careful to only pour me a drink if I ask for it. I'm still new on this journey. I have no answers. I just wanted to share that with you, to keep in mind for when you talk to your husband tonight.
I wish you love, and luck.
tumadre

[Preciouspinot]

Don't know how to begin???

Welcome LA Woman..Your story is the same as alot of us...went to AA...doesn't fit our profile...love wine.. a bottle a night...tired of being tired..the morning fog ect and so on

It gets better. I definately recommend the supps and the CDs

Read and post and hopefully, I'll see you around

[Mollystar]

Don't know how to begin???

Hi LA,
I too am a newbie, well I found this wonderful site only 3 weeks ago, and feel I have been given a chance to change! I am now on day 8 AF, read the book and started the supps yesterday. I am going to try to abstain from all alcohol for 30 days, that is my goal at the moment, and I am sure it is gonna be like climbing Everest in a pair of pumps! I no longer want to drink in the house alone, sneaking it in this cupboard, that cupboard, only for the kids to find it, cos they worry about my health, and I know it cant be nice to see your mum out of it most nights of the week. I want to make the most of being here and knowing there are people just like me who want to change, makes me feel stronger. I drink strong lager and if I dont go to the store then I dont drink even if there is a cupboard full of wine and spirits at home, strange but true. I find it more and more embarrassing asking for my strong lager cos it is what you see the homeless people drinking on the streets of London! So I go to a different store each night so it looks like I drink only once a week! So stick with it girl, it can only get better, maybe now is your time!

[LA Woman]

Don't know how to begin???

Thanks to all who replied to me tonight...I never thought there were so many who understood and are dealing with the same as me. I had a few sips of wine tonight, then did some yoga so I would not keep drinking. Here's to all of you for your words of encouragement...

[lillian]

Don't know how to begin???

hi LA woman. i know where you arecomung from. i stopped drinking fro6 days then suddenly weakended and have drunk 2 bottles wine a night for the last 4 nights. Its hard to stop isn.t it. Used to go to AA and did stopdrinking for 2 years. Dont't feel inclined to go back there. Therss got to be another way.! So youre not alone. this site is brilliant. I found it by accident 1 month ago

[Popeye]

Don't know how to begin???

Hello LA, you make perfect sense. I am trying to get out of the same place as you. I found this place a few days ago. It is brilliant, with some brilliant people on it. I found a lot of great support. I personally find it very hard to stay sober for more than three or four days, but with the help of my new mates I have managed for nine days now - nearly a record. I jump on and off this site a lot during the mornings before work, and in the evenings. It is quite addictive. Interesting what you said about it being your only hobby. I have just bought a fishing rod to give me something else to do on the occasions when I would otherwise be drinking. I haven't used it yet.
Anyway, good luck. paulb

[libmit]

Don't know how to begin???

Hi LA Woman,
I'm new too - about a month. I was googling alcohol moderation and found the book. After reading the book and discussing it with my husband, I jumped right in and ordered the supps, cd's and topamax (on 25mg now for 3rd week). I'm moderating - drinking 1-3.5 drinks a night. Husband now drinks slightly more than me, instead of me drinking way more than him. The topa is great, but I really think the combination of the three really makes it. I still have the urge to have a drink around 5-6 pm, and I worry that I'll want a bunch, but after 1-2, I don't seem to want any more, and I drink so much slower. It's only been 3 weeks, but I feel great. You can do it. Read the book!
Libby