Good morning, fellow "long term abstainers"
That doesn't roll off the tongue so easily does it? We never really came up with a name for this place that stuck, like the other forum is "Absville." And we don't have a mayor, or a mansion, or a community center or any of that. But in spite of all that -- this is where I belong. I say that not because I don't still visit Absville or post there, or care about the folks in that forum (I do all those things). I say it because I am not in this for the short term. I'm no longer dabbling with abstinence. I'm not trying the shoes on to see how they fit. I'm not testing the waters. I'm in this for the long haul. I have to be. I know what it means if I go back: drinking myself to oblivion every night, doing very stupid things, and dying an ugly and early death. I don't think I'm being overly dramatic, either. I could easily drink myself to death. And if not, the kind of life I would live in the meantime would not be very pleasant.
So here I am, finally having made the decision that I need and want sobriety for the rest of my life. And here I sit, on day 55 sober. (I realize that is only a beginning!) In general I'm feeling pretty good. I don't struggle on a daily basis anymore about whether I will have a drink or not. In fact it is pretty rare for me to have any kind of urge to drink. It happens now maybe once or twice a week instead of every day, and when it happens it is a very casual, passing kind of thing. I find myself just observing the thought and letting it pass. Now I don't know to what extent this is the topa or the work I've been doing with my hypnotherapist or the other work I've been doing to "change my mind" about alcohol -- it's probably the combination, but I am very happy with the results. The thing is, I know I am not out of the woods. I know there will be a day, probably soon, during the holidays, when a strong urge will hit me -- and I want to be prepared for it. I still feel new and vulnerable, like a young tender plant exposed to the sun.
Perhaps even more importantly, I want to make sure that I have a place to go 6 months from now, or a year from now, to make sure I don't change my mind about staying sober. That happened to me once before after 9 months' sobriety in AA back in 2000. I never want to have that happen again.
There is a lot of advice and support here for people who are just starting out, but this is the only spot on the board for folks who have chosen long term sobriety -- and the only place where there are folks gathered who have any significant time under their belts. I can imagine it must get a little lonely for those of you with 6 months, a year or more who come here looking for something to help you grow. I hope that by the time I reach that point you all (Neil, Brigid, Gabby, Kate, others) are still hanging around, but only if you find it good for your own recovery. I don't know where else I would find such collective wisdom!
Anyway I guess what I'm doing here is lamenting Kim's leaving us, even though I understand and respect her decision to go. I'm also making a case for a stronger community for long-term abs support, to whatever extent it is needed or wanted. I, for one, hope that MWO can be a source of support for the long term. The board has been a great support in getting me through these first crucial days and I hope it can help me as I go to the next level, whatever that is!
Do any of you have suggestions as to how we can make this thing work better for us? Or are we already doing what we can?
Peace to you all,
Mike
That doesn't roll off the tongue so easily does it? We never really came up with a name for this place that stuck, like the other forum is "Absville." And we don't have a mayor, or a mansion, or a community center or any of that. But in spite of all that -- this is where I belong. I say that not because I don't still visit Absville or post there, or care about the folks in that forum (I do all those things). I say it because I am not in this for the short term. I'm no longer dabbling with abstinence. I'm not trying the shoes on to see how they fit. I'm not testing the waters. I'm in this for the long haul. I have to be. I know what it means if I go back: drinking myself to oblivion every night, doing very stupid things, and dying an ugly and early death. I don't think I'm being overly dramatic, either. I could easily drink myself to death. And if not, the kind of life I would live in the meantime would not be very pleasant.
So here I am, finally having made the decision that I need and want sobriety for the rest of my life. And here I sit, on day 55 sober. (I realize that is only a beginning!) In general I'm feeling pretty good. I don't struggle on a daily basis anymore about whether I will have a drink or not. In fact it is pretty rare for me to have any kind of urge to drink. It happens now maybe once or twice a week instead of every day, and when it happens it is a very casual, passing kind of thing. I find myself just observing the thought and letting it pass. Now I don't know to what extent this is the topa or the work I've been doing with my hypnotherapist or the other work I've been doing to "change my mind" about alcohol -- it's probably the combination, but I am very happy with the results. The thing is, I know I am not out of the woods. I know there will be a day, probably soon, during the holidays, when a strong urge will hit me -- and I want to be prepared for it. I still feel new and vulnerable, like a young tender plant exposed to the sun.
Perhaps even more importantly, I want to make sure that I have a place to go 6 months from now, or a year from now, to make sure I don't change my mind about staying sober. That happened to me once before after 9 months' sobriety in AA back in 2000. I never want to have that happen again.
There is a lot of advice and support here for people who are just starting out, but this is the only spot on the board for folks who have chosen long term sobriety -- and the only place where there are folks gathered who have any significant time under their belts. I can imagine it must get a little lonely for those of you with 6 months, a year or more who come here looking for something to help you grow. I hope that by the time I reach that point you all (Neil, Brigid, Gabby, Kate, others) are still hanging around, but only if you find it good for your own recovery. I don't know where else I would find such collective wisdom!
Anyway I guess what I'm doing here is lamenting Kim's leaving us, even though I understand and respect her decision to go. I'm also making a case for a stronger community for long-term abs support, to whatever extent it is needed or wanted. I, for one, hope that MWO can be a source of support for the long term. The board has been a great support in getting me through these first crucial days and I hope it can help me as I go to the next level, whatever that is!
Do any of you have suggestions as to how we can make this thing work better for us? Or are we already doing what we can?
Peace to you all,
Mike
And actually it works the other way around as well. The newcomers are not always a drag, from what I hear. They remind the old timers of where they do not want to go back to -- and often times they come in with an enthusiasm that one may have lost after 6 months or a year or 2.
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