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**dilayne** · November 13, 2006, 08:13 AM

Monday November 13th

Mornin Macks! Tough break, but it sounds like you handled it great. I understand the Christmas stress..it's been something that I struggled with the whole time I was raising my kids..My mom had always created a 'big' Christmas..at least the appearance of one, even when she didn't have any money. I spent many years buying more than I should have for my kids, trying to fullfill this image I had of what Christmas was supposed to be like..When I matured and suffered from too much debt, I really wanted to minimize the material side of the season, but my kids were only half grown, and I'd already began a tradition that they expected me to continue with..I was torn for years because I was acting out a tradition that I no longer agreed with and I was teaching my kids something that I was struggling so much to unlearn..that Christmas isn't about how many gifts you could give or recieve. When my youngest was in high school I began to cut back drastically and felt guilty about it, but did it anyway because it was the right thing for me to do..now my oldest daughter is in the same boat..I've see her spend rent and utility money to buy gifts for not only her kids but her husband's family who also spend more than they can afford on gifts..she did it out of obligation. I've been trying to teach her to create her own tradition and that she doesn't have to follow her husband's family tradition blindly (they live in poverty but spend far more at Christmas than I ever have). I hope that you can feel great about Christmas even if the kids only recieve one gift each..it wouldn't be a tragedy if they only got your love and 'presense'..that's really all they want anyway, they just don't know it yet. I don't even remember many of the gifts I got at Christmas as a child..I do remember some rare happy moments..including seeing my mom and dad play together...it's the only memory of that that I have, but the memory is probably the greatest Xmas gift I ever got.

30 days AF for me today...I feel good but need to be eating better..and feel like I'll be addressing that this week.

I hope everyone has a great day!

**YoungAtHeart** · November 13, 2006, 08:25 AM

Monday November 13th

Gosh, Macks, what a trial!! You've had quite a few of them lately, haven't you?? I'm glad that you had a good weekend with your family BEFORE the sh*t hit the fan so to speak--and also glad there was no booze to help you console yourself at the other end of your journey either. I know this is no laughing matter, but part of me knows that in a few years, you will be laughing about this incident. Anyway, hang in there darlin!

Happy day 55 Mike, although it's 56 today! What an accomplishment for you! Almost two months, and you are sounding stronger and more committed with each passing day.

Got all my paperwork done yesterday, so I'm off to the accountant this morning. It will be good to get all of that done and out of the way. Otherwise, it's business as usual.

I really enjoyed Irish Lady's post yesterday about her list of reasons not to drink. I think I'll sit down and write one for me!

Di--I agree with you about Christmas. Because of my situation as a single mom, I haven't been able to afford as much to give as other family members at times. It has sometimes felt embarrassing, but frankly, I don't think that my family has given a darn. Also, when I have seen the amount of $$$ my sisters spend on gifts, it makes my head spin. On the other hand, one Christmas, I made my sister a wall-hanging Lone-Star quilt, the total cost of which came to about $25, but the amount of labor and love that went into it was priceless. She cherishes it to this day. Macks, I know that your a few of your kids are really young, but they may understand more than you know. You can explain. I have had to do that a few times with my daughter. She's been disappointed, but trust me, it does build character, and I know that your kids adore you. Remember, in giving them a sober dad, you are giving them a great gift already. XOXOX

Have a good day everyone!

Hugs,
Kathy:l

**southernbelle47** · November 13, 2006, 09:48 AM

Monday November 13th

Good morning all,

It was a good weekend here. We got to watch the wedding video and experience the thrill of it all over again.

Macks! What a night! I'm glad you made it through! I think car trouble is the worst.......not really, like you said the kids could have been there!
I have found that this is the school of life......and there WILL be test! Sounds like you made an "A" in spite of the situation.

I agree that Christmas should be more "Christ" centered. The spending has gotten way out of comtrol!
We used to save in a Christmas account when the kids were small. I don't care how much they get........when they get to the end of opening their pile, they ALWAYS say...."is that all"? I don't care if there are five presents or a hundred.....its always the same. My grandkids do the same thing!
Now we try to do less but more meaningful gifts. And make some memories that cost nothing. Like a walk in the woods and a fire out in our fire pit. They love it. Children still spell love.........TIME...

I got a call this morning that my last uncle died at 5:00am. He has been sick for years so I'm relieved he isn't suffering anymore. I have many happy memories of him. His daughter was my best friend growing up. He took me along on trip to the beach and I spent weeks at his house whenever I could.
Heaven is a richer place today! His mom and dad and seven sisters are rejoicing ,I'm sure to have their baby brother with them again.
Oh to live a life so full and then move on to even more!

Have a good day.
Love,
Nancy:l

**Rach** · November 13, 2006, 09:57 AM

Monday November 13th

Hi Macks,

Sorry I am such a bitch, worrying about myself. You should be incredibly proud of yourself for not drinking under the stress that you where under.

( In Australia, I cant believe that you didn't know that you had blown a head gasket....Do girls in rte UK change their own tyres??) We are not rough but work to the conditions.

Anyway, you must be a loving husband and devote to your drinking cause, I had bone marrow testing today (not pretty) but will keep you posted.

It looks like my hubby will loose his (mine) right breast next week and we are not sure of the exact desity, but, I will still be Rach! (who probably should be as strong as you and not drink, but I am still working 40 hr week and raising 2 teenagers).

I once again apologise for rambling on about myself, please feel free to to do so if you wish to reply..

Rach

**Hawk** · November 13, 2006, 10:24 AM

Monday November 13th

Good morning everyone ?

Wow Macks! You cannot catch a break on vehicle problems. I hope it gets better and please try not to wroory about holidays. As someone else said, giving them a sober you is the best gift they can get. But I know its hard! My parents eventually cut down on giving us a ton of stuff and while the first year was strange, it is great now because the gift we select for each other has meaning. And my sister makes a lot of her gifts and those are the ones I treasure the most. Anyway...

I have been around for a while and get a great deal of support from this site and the people here. I have been trying the monthly abs board and I am feeling like maybe right now, its not the right place for me. I want to moderate and I know I should do the 30 days abs (2 weeks has been my max to this point) but I hate to say it ? our social life gets in the way! I don?t get out of control every night or weekend, but I do have 2 or 3 drinks during a night out or with friends or whatever. And there are times I have been just out of my tree (and annoying my husband). Those times are fewer than they once were and I?d lke to have no more of them. So anyway, I?m thinking maybe Monthly Moderation is the place for me. Everyone on the abs board has been so wonderful to me ? I hate showing up on Monday and saying ?Yes, I had a few drinks over the weekend.? Everyone here works hard on their abs and it makes me feel like a fraud! Help. I'm stuck.

**wwbarb** · November 13, 2006, 10:45 AM

Monday November 13th

Hawk, that could have been me posting. It's Monday, and here I am again! I peek in to check up on you guys - I did a legitimate six weeks stint and then fell off the wagon. I am on week three of topa, so we'll see how that goes. It's inconceivable right now to believe I can be abs for the month fo December or the rest of November, but I am going to do my best and aim for January. I am doing much better in terms of how much and saying "no" quite a bit more often. I am hoping that by the time I get to 100 next week I will be at a turning point, because I can already feel a difference.

Macks, hang in there. Your ship is coming in; I can feel it. Not only do I have the Christmas holidays, but both of my sons, my husband and both of my granddaughters have birthdays in November. It's nuts financially, and I HATE to shop.

Rach - praying for you.

Hugs to everyone else I missed.

**mikeupnorth** · November 13, 2006, 10:45 AM

Monday November 13th

Good morning Absville,

Sorry I don't have the time to properly address everyone this morning, as I'm off to see the doctor in a few minutes. Wow, there is a lot going on here right now.

Macks, sorry to hear about your mechanical difficulties and right before the holidays it's tough. What you said about being a million times worse: that's what I think alcohol would do to any problem I might have! However bad I might feel about some situation, I just close my eyes and imagine waking up with a hangover, and the problem is STILL THERE -- nope, I couldn't drink it away, so it just got worse. So hang in there.

And Rach -- I obviously cannot say I understand how you feel but I have had close family members go through the same situation so I know it is hard. I also know you can beat this thing and live a full and happy life. I'm sending good thoughts your way, from far away.

Di -- congrats on your 30 days!

Hi Kathy, Nancy and Hawk!

Have a good day everyone.

Mike

**mikeupnorth** · November 13, 2006, 10:46 AM

Monday November 13th

A special hello to you, Barb. We were posting at the same time!

Mike

**Hawk** · November 13, 2006, 10:52 AM

Monday November 13th

Rach -

we must have been posting at same time. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

**lucky 2.0** · November 13, 2006, 10:56 AM

Monday November 13th

I did not drink yesterday. I will not drink today. I am now accountable to the statement.

My best to all-
Lucky

**YoungAtHeart** · November 13, 2006, 05:44 PM

Monday November 13th

I want to start by offering my support to Rach. My thoughts and prayers are with you. You are hardly being b*tchy by thinking about yourself at this time. In your shoes, I doubt I'd be thinking of anyone BUT me. I'm glad that you told us what is going on with you, Rach. I hope the results of your bone marrow testing come back with encouraging results. Please do keep us posted.

Nancy, I appreciate your attitude about your uncle. I know on one level that it must be hard to lose him, yet your strong faith carries you through. Bless you sweetie! Your memories sound precious!

Hawk, you have to do what feels right to you at this time. I will say that Absville is for people who are trying to stay abstinent. I know that I have had my share of slip ups, and I have always been supported. However, if you can't commit to trying right now, then you have to be where you think you can make a commitment. There is nothing worse than feeling like a fraud! I do want you to know that I value your contributions here on MWO no matter where you chose to make your "HOME"!

Barb, you are making progress, I can tell. As far as saying a complete "NO" to booze, my "magic number" was 200mg on topa. I hope yours is lower! I know that it has been for some people. Keep on keeping on!

Hi Mike! It's good to see you here. Hope your doctor's appointment went well.

Hey Lucky, keep up the good work! It's great to see you posting here!

I had great news at the accountants. The IRS owed me money!:happy: I chose to do the mature thing and let them keep it against this year's taxes, as I haven't been able to put away as much as I liked this year, so this will help me catch up. That was very good news to me. Oops! I just realized that I forgot to tell my accountant that I put money in an IRA in 2005. Hmmm. Yet another topa dopa moment! I guess I'd better call him and get him to revise the forms. Duh.:blush:

Hey Macks, I'm thinking about you and your car. I hope everything works out okay.

Hugs to all,
Kathy:l

**TracyA** · November 13, 2006, 05:44 PM

Monday November 13th

Good Day all.

Macks - sounds like the weekend from heck! It sounds like it didn't really knock you down though - maybe it just pushed you around some?

You are in my thoughts.

It's great to see everyone's posts. It is a struggle - it's a hard thing to give up booze, like a messy breakup with your very best friend ever. Hang in, all.

I'm finally home, incredibly tired. Running on about 9 hours sleep total over the last 48 hours and must attend class tonight because I don't dare miss anymore. Finally found the topa unpacking - the cosmetic bag it was in was in my son's suitcase!

Gotta fly.

Tracy

**Paddy** · November 13, 2006, 08:16 PM

Monday November 13th

Good day Abbers, good day Rach,

First and foremost my thoughts are with Rach. It must be quite traumatising to go through all this, ey? It's funny how we sometimes think - oh this could never happen to me. Ok, Kylie, Anastacia, but those girls have a very rough lifestyle (which may be true, but how do we know?). And then it strikes. Mind you, I have a male friend who's going through the same thing. So it's not solely a women's problem anymore.

Anyway, not much comfort. But at least we are here. Keep posting, we'll do our best to cheer you up, ok?

I'm off to Laos today. I'll be back online on Thursday. So, you guys be cool and stay away from you-know-what .... (yup, there's me again ... Pot calling the kettle bl..., oops, African-American).

**MonaCat** · November 14, 2006, 09:01 AM

Monday November 13th

Kathy, can you e-mail your accountant or drop a note by fax? You really need to get this information to the accountant, so you can save some more tax money!

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