Things Hallmark cards never say.

[Mackeral]

My tire was thumping.



I thought it was flat



When I looked at the tire...



I notic ed your cat.



Sorry!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~



Heard your wife left you,



How upset you must be.



But don't fret about it...



She moved in with me.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~



Looking back over the years



that we've been together,



I can't help but wonder...



"What the hell was I thinking?"



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~



Congratulations on your wedding day!



Too bad no one likes your husband.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~



How could two people as beautiful as you



Have such an ugly baby?



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~



I've always wanted to have



someone to hold,



someone to love.



After having met you ..



I've changed my mind.



--------------------------------------

----------------------------------------------------------



I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.



I never believed in Hell until I met you.



//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////



As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...



That you're not here to ruin it for me.



################################################## ##



Congratulations on your promotion.



Before you go...



Would you like to take this knife out of my back?



You'll probably need it again.



************************************************** ******************************



Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!



(Available only in Tennessee, Kentucky & West Virginia)



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~ !



Happy birthday! You look great for your age.



Almost Lifelike!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~



When we were together,



you always said you'd die for me.



Now that we've broken up,



I think it's time you kept your promise.



//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////



We have been friends for a very long time ..



let's say we stop?



ize: 12px;">+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++



I'm so miserable without you



it's almost like you're here.



================================================== ===



Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.



Did you ever find out who the father was?



%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%



Your f riends and I wanted to do



something special for your birthday.



So we're having you put to sleep.



)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))



So your daughter's a hooker,



and it spoiled your day.



Look at the bright side,



it's really good pay.







"************************************************* *****************************"

[wwbarb]

Things Hallmark cards never say.

Cutting, pasting and forwarding, my friend!