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tumadre
November 16th, 2006, 05:24 PM
REAL HEADLINES!!

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[No, really?]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[Now that's taking things a bit far!]

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
[ Do they ever read what they write?]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
[What a guy!]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-sos!]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[See if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[You think?!]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
[Who would have thought!]

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspects Homicide
[They may be on to something!]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!]



Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
[He probably IS the battery charge ]



New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[Weren't they fat enough?!]


Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]


Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[Taste just like chicken?]


Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]



And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
[Did I read that sign right?]

TracyA
November 16th, 2006, 05:33 PM
LOL! The high school dropouts is my favorite. No child left behind, at least none living. :H

Don't you sometimes wonder what editors are thinkin'?

For the record, all the outer planets have rings, including Uranus. ;)

Tracy

MKR
November 16th, 2006, 05:52 PM
:H :H :H One more keyboard gone!!;)