Please, someone give me some advice!

[SusanA]

My name is Susan and I'm 38 years old and am in a tailspin that I can't seem to break out of. I have a serious drug and alcohol problem and I keep asking for help, but I guess I'm asking all the wrong people.
It is 8:30am and I've been up all night doing cocaine and at this point I'm trying to deal with the guilt. This seems to be an every weekend situation. I start off with a couple of beers and start feeling invincible. I can handle it this time. I currently drink beer every day. Any where between 1 and 7. I have two children, 6 & 10 and a wonderful husband. He thinks I drink too much too and I can see the disappointment in his eyes every time I look at him. I just want to call him so desperately right now and ask him to come home and help me. But I am so afraid of what will come of it all. I am terrified of disappointing my children. I hate the remorse that I experience every morning. But by the time I get off work at 2:00pm I'm already trying to talk myself out of that beer. Why can't I stop? I hate this life I have created for myself. I went to my physician and asked to be put on the topomax. He said he wanted to do bloodwork and to come back in a month. A MONTH!!! I don't have a month. I want to start getting better right now. What can I do? Please help if you can.

Desperately, Susan:new:

[xtexan]

Please, someone give me some advice!

Hi SusanA:

I am now sober no drugs, no ciggies, and no alcohol over 11 months. I never took Topamax to get that way either.

I binge drank, smoked 2 packs a day, and took pain pills while I drank.

Have you read the MWO book yet? You can download it from the store.

I used a lot of different things. Lots of vitamins and supplements. Get the kudzu and the glutamine. Find some way to meditate or relax. The book advocates the hypnosis CD's, and I use a light/sound machine.
Read or listen to positive things. I use audio books on my morning commute of "self-help" and motivational authors.

Exercise! I do running, bicycling, weight lifting, active isolated stretching, and calisthenics. It will strengthen both your body and your mind. They are not separate from each other. A stronger body will naturally lead to a stronger mind and more emotional stability. This is so important, and many don't do it because they thought that exercise is more painful than hangovers and self-loathing. It is not! You can start with just a 15 minute walk down the street if you are not in shape. It works!

I am 50 years old, and drank hard for 35 years, and I tried a lot of stuff to quit. I finally realized I had to do a whole lot of things all together, and do them again and again to succeed. Just doing one or two things alone half-heartedly always led me back to drinking.

Also, read and post here in whatever section you choose. Everyone here has been desperate and felt alone, and out of control. You can get back in control.

You can start right now, without the Topa if you want. Others may have suggestions on how to get the Topa if you feel that you need it sooner.

I'm behind you. We all are.

Be well.

Neil

[betty boop]

Please, someone give me some advice!

Hi Susan, :welcome:
welcome to the site. I've recently found the site and whilst I can't offer advice (because like you i've only just addmitted my problem). I'm also 38 but while I don't do drugs I binge most nights on red wine, sometimes up to 3 bottles and on weekends even more. This thursday I drank so much (again) that I can't remember my daughter going to bed at 9pm, and woke up covered in bruises that I have no idea how I got. My husband had even phoned my mum to wake me & my daughter to get her ready for school because he leaves for work at 5.30 & he didn't think I would be capable. As you have said the guilt is amazing and you never intend to do it again, until you finish work and the cravings start. I actually called my husband to come home like you considered and he says he will do anything to help me, and i'm tring moderation. I know it's still too much but i'm having one bottle starting at 7pm, and sipping it instead of gulping. It worked last night and i'm feeling good for tonight.

All the best, & PLEASE keep in touch, perhaps because we're both at the same stage we could help each other.

Take care, Paula xx

[tumadre]

Please, someone give me some advice!

Paula & Susan-
There are so many wonderful, supportive people here, who have been exactly where you are...they understand what you're going through, including me. We started out with a cry for help, and we were heard. Download the book, order the supplements, start reading the stories. Tell your own daily struggles. I know it's scary, and I know how hard it is. With the help of all of us, you can do this.
Tumadre

[bdl]

Please, someone give me some advice!

Please, let this be the Last time I quit.

I found this site by accident thsi morning. Again last nite I had too much to drink and cant' remember much of anything past a certain point. I am so tired of living this way. Hiding out and lying to cover up my drinking. I want this to be the last time I have to quit drinking. What a sad way to live ones life. I am hopeful that I will get some help and support with you all. Thanks :new:

[betty boop]

Please, someone give me some advice!

Hi

Hi bdl

Like you I am new, for me i'ts good. Since finding it i've not stopped yet but I am monitering my drinking and already feeling better. What would you like to acheive for tomorrow?

Thats what i said to myself and i'm on my 3rd day of moderation,

Take care. Paula xx

[pamelasue]

Please, someone give me some advice!

I can relate to a lot of the comments above. I am 35 and have had problems with drinking wine and beer.
Too much time alone sends me to the liquor store for one bottle. then back to the liquor store again later. and then again...

my life is manageable but i lose my weekends this way and an occasional week day. i am taking a break from drinking, it's now day 6. Drinking alone at home is definitely going to stop.

[Java]

Please, someone give me some advice!

i feel like we are all the same person before joining here i felt so alone in my problem. I thank everyone for your courage in sharing yourselves with us. We are all blessed people.

[ihavebeenherkind]

Please, someone give me some advice!

On this site, at least as far as the MWO program is concerned, if you scroll down on the Message Boards and go to Message Board History and then go to Best of the boards, I found that to be very helpful.

[Java]

Please, someone give me some advice!

me too

[betty boop]

Please, someone give me some advice!

WOW

This is one of my 1st threads that I posted on, I can't believe how far I have come, this has made me cry ..... I'm sure that it's a good message to all of you new people out there...

By the way I'm now on day 12 AF....can't believe that i'm the same person ....

Thanks to you all

Paula xx

[Popeye]

Please, someone give me some advice!

Well done Paula.

[betty boop]

Please, someone give me some advice!

Thanks Paul,

I'm actually pleased that someone found that thread, saturday nights are usually a real big drinking night for me, but after being reminded of where I used to be, tonight hasn't been a problem.

Thanks all.

Love & Hugs, Paula :h :l :h :l

[Java]

Please, someone give me some advice!

reading these is helping me through my first night AF, thanks guys, i cant wait to post tommorow and say i made it i know how excited i will feel.

[Beaches]

Please, someone give me some advice!

Good job Paula. Isn't it amazing and wonderful to see how far we can come.

NP