Craving

[helen mary]

Happy Tuesday everyone! This thing, this problem with drink is really talking to me today. My mind is saying "for goodness sake you don't have a drink problem, you can have a couple on Saturday night" (we have some family coming down, it will be a boozy affair), and then the sober/new me says "for goodness sake you do have a problem and having a drink on Saturday night is not the be all and end all of life". So many mixed feelings today. Does this happen to anyone else, its only Tuesday and all I can think of is Saturday Night and I KNOW I will want to drink with everyone else and yet I know I can't. Truth is, half the people that will be there have a drink problem, takes one to know one so to speak.

Not articulating very well today, forgive me.

[lilyluvr56]

Craving

yes...it happens all the time. that's why you have to take it one day at a time. you have to get past today, before you can even start thinking about saturday. everything will be too much to handle if you are already thinking about the problem you might have on sat before you even have made it through tuesday. try to be AF for tuesday...that's all you have to do for now! i will try too!

[spacie]

Craving

Well it finally happened to me my thread deleted itself with a click of the mouse what a pisser so we start again...

Hello,

I think you need to change your mental message to - I cannot have a drink Saturday night or any other night. Once you get past the thought of drinking you will feel relieved and can start thinking about other stuff. It will creep back in but just push it away. You can still have fun and party without drinking and from what I've observed over the years the people that don't drink seem to be having a lot more fun than I. I used to think they were whimpy and party poopers but that's not true is it. Think about making everyone a nice breakfast the next day because many of them will be feeling like dung, but you won't.

What are you going to hold in your hand, I'm finding that I can drink anything I want and the calories are okay because I'm okay, I now drink frufru drinks, chocolate milk, hot tea/ice tea, flavored lemonade, and I like anything with vanilla and cinamon. Whatever you do don't entertain the thought of drinking it will take you down that ever so slippery slope. If you can think it, it can happen.

Save the cheerleader save the world, I like saying that, you'll know what it froms if you've seen the tv series "Heros"
Later,
spacie

[mikeupnorth]

Craving

Yes it happens -- not as often as it used to but it still happens. There is a little monster inside me lurking just beneath the surface, waiting for a moment when I'm feeling a little weak or tired -- or even happy -- and then it starts to do its thing. What does it do? Does it come out with fangs and claws bared? No, it whispers. "You can have a drink. Just one. You can handle it." Or "You've been good all this time. You deserve it." It's clever, this beast. It knows me well.

But I know it well too.

I've fallen for its lies for far too long. Now when I hear its whispers I talk back to it. "Oh, I can have just one drink, can I? That's what you said last time, and I woke up on the living room floor, surrounded by CD cases and ashtrays, and no memory of the night before. Right -- just one drink. YOU LIE."

Or "I deserve a drink?? What the hell are you talking about?? Why do I deserve to dehydrate my body, act like a fool, risk my health, and wake up feeling like I've been run over by a dump truck? NO THANK YOU."

It would be easier to fight if it came at me with fangs and claws, but it doesn't. It's much more subtle, like a handsome man, come to swindle a lonely maiden out of her money. It's a silver-tongued devil. It's a beast from hell, what more can I say.

Mike

[helen mary]

Craving

Thank you Mike, Spacie and Lily. x

[Changeling]

Craving

I love your descrpition 'silver tongued devil' a beast from hell
you have so got this thing sorted.

[Changeling]

Craving

Mike

I so admire you
when I sign on I always loo k out for your posts
take care c

[irishlady]

Craving

Oh Mike I so agree with you. It doesn't rush at you screaming and pushing a glass of wine in your face, it's much more subtle than that. It creeps up on you like little wispy tendrils of mist which if you ignore will soon envelope you in a thick fog of longing for just one more drink. One thing though I have found and it is this....... instead of telling yourself you can't have a drink, try telling yourself you don't WANT to drink, such a small change in words but I found it made all the difference. I could almost feel my brain give a shrug and say " oh okay then, another time perhaps ".
I think this the first time I have posted on the long term abstainers forum but as I am now on my 52nd day of not drinking I feel quite at home here.

Speak to you all again soon,
Louise xxx

[xtexan]

Craving

Hi Irishlady!

I've been so hoping you would come on over here and see us. I must admit, I've secretly been rooting for you to join us as one of the "hard-core" abstainers. Don't know what it is, but I felt when you started here, that you and I had some sort of kinship. Maybe it's because of the Scotch-Irish ancestry on my fathers side.

Mike has got the words this time. He has it dead on target.

I am sort of reminded of Kevin Neelon on "Saturday Night Live", when he was doing the "subliminal man" skit. You know he would read a bunch of words in a loud clear voice, and then slip something in under his breath between phrases. The demon is like that. An example:

My I am feeling pretty good today. (have a drink)

I think I will go to the movies this evening, and see that new Casino Royale (have a drink)

Maybe afterwards I'll go and do some early Chrstmas shopping, (deserve a drink)

Then when I get home, I'll do some exercises and take some supplements. (why not drink?)

So the demon is the small type subliminal suggestions, that seem to get louder and louder. It's tough to shut that 'lil creep up sometimes, but if you just ignore him, you always know he's in there plotting against you.

Today, I've been running around the house on my time off, doing a multitude of things that have long been put on the back burner. I serviced the water pump and tank system for my deep well, and started on some electrical work to put a closet light in one that lacks it. Getting to those projects long put off, because they were not absolutely necessary is a good way to kill the boredom, and stay away from the TV. I often find that the TV slips subliminal suggestions in to drink all by itself, unless I carefully choose what I watch.

Also, doing some reading. Any of you here ever read Tielhard DeChardin? Also, paging through some of Deepok Chopra's "Book of Secrets" as a comparison and contrast. After a chapter of two, I'll get up, and do some chore around the house, and then mix and match. Got to keep the variety going, to stave off any boredom and the ever present demon.

Be well.

Neil

[Guest]

Craving

the bully

Mine hasn't spoken to me for awhile--maybe he is mad at me and not speaking to me--hopefully it stays that way. Mine used to tell me "just this one night, one night isn't so bad"......because quite frankly we never had a conversation about one drink--it was always about "just this one night". Mine was like the bully on the playground...trying to entice me to play with fire. What could one night hurt? Well, after nine months of not drinking-I decided that one night would not be so bad. I had 3 drinks that night. Then it was 2 weeks later and I had 3 drinks again. Then 1 week later I had 4 drinks. The little jerk lured me in. Making me think that I did have control. The beginning of that adventure was November 2003. I slid back in slowly--until it was an obsession again. I did not get out until August of 2006--with at minimum one full year of hell. That is what "one night" means to me now. I played with fire, it got going slowly, but once it did it I couldn't get the flames put out. I hopefully have learned from that experience. One night, one drink it doesn't matter...I don't want to risk it again--I was lucky to get out with minimal scars this time.

[Guest]

Craving

Hi friends,
Back from Yosemite, and wow...what an appropriate topic. I battled major cravings while on vacation. I thought it would be simple, but it wasn't. I found myself waging war in my mind both nights I was away. Thank goodness "sober Gina" managed to win, but not by much. Still very young in this sober life stuff. My only tool was my boys welfare and my daily supps. We had a wonderful time, no doubt! But, I am very much a morning person. We were up at the crack of dawn, and back to the hotel by 1 pm...lots of hours to kill and deal with head on. Hope you all are doing well.

[Guest]

Craving

Gina, Discovery, xtexan, mikeupnorth, ALL!
You are doing something I don't know I will ever tackle. I commend you and think you are all doing wonderfully. I wish you continued success, always.
You are brave and smart and healthy.
Love to all.

[irishlady]

Craving

Hello Neil, thank you for your kind words, you won't realise what they mean to me, but for reasons I won't go into just now it's a bit like being in the playground at school and the top gang allow you to join them, thanks.

Louise xx

[Guest]

Craving

irishlady

Irishlady,

I think you will love this gang....I am so glad that you decided to join us. I am as well Irish on my Dad's side and Swedish/Scottish on my Mom's side. Makes for for very fair skin! I have suffered some major sunburns.

Welcome!

Gina glad you are back--sorry to hear about the battle in your head--so glad that sober Gina won! Sober Gina will keep getting stronger and soon she will beat the living pulp out of the other one!

Kim

[helen mary]

Craving

Welcome Irish Lady! I am in the UK and my husband is Irish and lots of my ancestors. I also go there quite regularly and feel really at home - trouble is - they are a nation of drinkers! Hard Core Drinkers, and the pubs are fantastic, they have such atmosphere.

The messages about cravings have been fantastic and really helpful - what would I do without this forum, I love coming here.