Announcement

**Accountable for Me** · December 5, 2006, 01:20 PM

AM I AN ALCOHOLIC ????

Welcome

Hi Tammy,

Welcome, I am new here too. An alcoholic is defined in different ways. My ex husband told me it isn't necessarily how often or much you drink, but it is the damage it does to your life. Self destruction, altered moods, hostility, physical dependancy etc...

Only you can really define whether you are an alcoholic or not. If it seems to be interferring with your life at all and you can't stop the drinking or the behaviour, then more than likely you are.

Why don't you read around the threads and maybe see what insight it might give you. There are a lot of great people here that share their own personal stories good and bad.

:welcome:

**irishlady** · December 5, 2006, 03:16 PM

AM I AN ALCOHOLIC ????

Hello Tammie,

On reading your post the phrase which jumped out at me was.......I do believe I have very low self esteem, and when I drink I have more confidence.........Perhaps if you addressed the low self esteem issue first and somehow got a handle on that, then you could find your confidence in yourself will improve and come from within rather then from a bottle. I can empathise with the low self esteem thing, as it's one of the things which made me drink. It's not going to be easy trying to change but it is so worth all hard work.

Here's wishing you luck, and keep on posting and reading here,

Louise xx

**Kitty** · December 5, 2006, 06:48 PM

AM I AN ALCOHOLIC ????

Hi I totally agree with accountable for me,

My partner drinks practically every day, sometimes a couple of glasses of wine sometimes a whole bottle of wine and a few beers, but he never gets drink and his behaviour never changes in the slightest, he just does it to chill out.

I doubt his daily drinking does his body much good but his emotional state remains unchanged and he never reaches a state when he is not in control.

I on the other hand can go up to 4 days without a drink but when I do drink I'll drink till I black out. I then spend the next few days dry, wrestling with the fellings of guilt about the things I did (or had to be reminded of)

So I agree, it has less to do with the amount you drink, and more to do with why you do it and what impact it has when you do.

:thanks:

Kitty

**TAMMZ78** · December 6, 2006, 11:49 AM

AM I AN ALCOHOLIC ????

HELLO AGAIN,

I KNOW I CAN GO WITHOUT A DRINK FOR A LONG PERIOD OF TIME, SOMETIMES WEEKS. I GUESS THAT IT IS WHEN I GO OUT THAT I FEEL SELF CONCIOUS AND I DRINK TO EXCESS TO LET GO. I THINK WHAT LOUISE SAID IS THE ISSUE IN MY CASE. IF I COULD FEEL MORE CONFIDENT ABOUT MYSELF THEN I WOULDN'T FEEL THE NEED TO DRINK SO MUCH . I WILL START TO WORK ON THAT.I KNOW IT WILL BE HARD AS THERE ARE MANY REASON'S WHY I FEEL THE WAY I DO AND IT WILL BE A LONG JOURNEY BUT I KNOW I HAVE TO DO IT BECAUSE JUDGING FROM THE INCIDENTS THAT HAVE HAPPENED WHEN I HAVE LOST CONTROL IN THE PAST - I NEED TO SORT IT OUT.THANK YOU FOR YOUR INPUT. IF ANYONE ELSE HAS ANY OTHER ADVICE, I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU X

TAMMIE XXX

**narilly** · December 6, 2006, 10:31 PM

AM I AN ALCOHOLIC ????

Kitty,
That is exactly how I drink. The black out thing is so awful. I wake up and have no idea of what I said and I am so embarassed.

**dove** · December 7, 2006, 12:47 AM

AM I AN ALCOHOLIC ????

Hey tammie and kittie,
I have the same 'drink till I black out' problem. It always seems to be just a time to relax for me though. I am always so busy that it's almost like I have to give myself permission not to be by getting wasted.
I'm not glad for you all if you feel the same way I do somedays, but I am glad that others know how I feel. Somedays - especially the hungover days - can seem so lonely.
Dove

**TAMMZ78** · December 7, 2006, 04:37 AM

AM I AN ALCOHOLIC ????

HIYA

I CAN RELATE TO THE FEELINGS OF LONELINESS AND EMBARRASMENT THE NEXT DAY AFTER A REAL BENDER. I OFTEN WAKE UP WITH BRUISES AND I DON'T KNOW HOW I HAVE GOT THEM. JUST LAST WEEKEND I WENT TO A PARTY WITH A COUPLE OF FRIENDS AND MADE A COMPLETE FOOL OUT OF MYSELF. ONE OF MY FRIENDS WONT EVEN TALK TO ME NOW. I KNOW I HAVE TO STOP DRINKING THIS WAY. HOW DO REBUILD MY CONFIDENCE TO STOP THIS DESTRUCTIVE PATTERN OF DRINKING . IT REALLY SCARES ME BECAUSE I TURN INTO A REALLY AGRESSIVE HORRIBLE PERSON NOW WHEN I DRINK TOO MUCH AND I JUST WANT TO BE AN ABLE TO HAVE A DRINK AND HAVE FUN LIKE I USED TO.WHY DO I TURN SO NASTY BECAUSE I AM A REALLY NICE PERSON USUALLY.

TAMMIE XXX

**Bluemoon** · December 7, 2006, 09:41 AM

AM I AN ALCOHOLIC ????

Hi Tammie -
Someone once said to me, you may not have alcohol dependency issues, but you do abuse alcohol. I think the term "alcoholic" covers a broad definition. I call myself an alcoholic not because I can't live without it, but because I don't stop when I know I should. Even though I hate myself for it. Even though I upbraid myself repeatedly. Even though I promise myself I won't drink today. I do it anyway. People without alcohol issues don't have these patterns.

Alcoholism is also pogressive - meaning if you stopped drinking today, and resumed next year, you would progress from yesterday's point, and not from another beginning. Make sense? You can never reach that point again. That beginning. When it was fun and not bad. It has progressed beyond that point, never to return.

Under the influence changes a personality. Feelings become grotesque exaggerations. Distortion. Nonsense. Dangerous nonsense because the drunk can't judge or mitigate nonsense. Grotesque exaggeration seems reasonable. YOU are not horrible, but what the alcohol does to your brain is, what the alcohol does to your brain's "sight", the distortion. The disfigurement of a simple issue, or even an imagined issue.

We are responsible to the point that we've chosen to take that drink. Knowing ourselves and our behaviours and we still take that drink. That makes us responsible for our grotesque actions. The details are that we don't mean the mean. But, they are only details to our loved ones. Our loved ones see us take that drink. Willfully. Perhaps they even join us. Or offer us. But, they are not responsible for us. They probably don't have the alcoholic issues and patterns. They can't understand. But we do, and that makes us culpable.

You're trying. You may need to distance yourself from alcohol for a bit; abstain. Then, learn to count, as my dad says. Moderate. Two (or whatever number) and no more. Take comfort from this site. We've all got the same problem - alcohol.

**lucky 2.0** · December 7, 2006, 02:59 PM

AM I AN ALCOHOLIC ????

I think the term "alcoholic" is a self-fulfilling prophecy and I chose not to use it for myself. I may drink too much @ times but it was a CHOICE, not a disease that made me do it. Just my $0.02 but I personally prefer positive self talk instead of negative.

All the AA'ers will tell me I am in denial and we will have to agree to disagree.

My best to all as we walk the road to healthier lives.

**TAMMZ78** · December 8, 2006, 08:00 AM

AM I AN ALCOHOLIC ????

HELLO AGAIN

I DO APPRICIATE EVERYONE'S COMMENTS AND ADVICE - THANK YOU X

BLUEMOON,

YOU HAVE REALLY EXPLAINED A LOT OF THINGS TO ME THAT I ALREADY KNEW, BUT DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO PUT INTO WORDS. THEY WAY YOU HAVE DESCRIBED MY PROBLEM IS EXACTLY TO THE TEE. IT REALLY HELPS KNOWING THE OTHER PEOPLE CAN UNDER STAND WHAT IT IS LIKE TO COMPLETLY LOOSE CONTROL OF YOUR THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS THROUGH ALCOHOL. YOU ARE RIGHT WHEN YOU SAY THAT I HAVE TO MODERATE MY DRINKING AND ONLY HAVE A FEW AND BE HAPPY WITH THAT. I DO REALISE THAT NO MATTER HOW MUCH I THINK I WILL BE FINE AT THE TIME THAT NEXT "VODKA" COULD PUSH ME OVER THE EDGE AND OUT COMES THE NASTY HORRIBLE PERSON I HAVE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT.I AM OUT AT MY X-MAS PARTY TONIGHT. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THAT I WILL BE GOING OUT WITHOUT THE INTENTION TO GET COMPLETLELY OUT OF MY TREE. WISH ME LUCK AND I WILL LET YOU KNOW HOW IT GOES X - I AM DETERMINED TO CHANGE !!!!!:thanks:

TAMMIE X

**Bluemoon** · December 8, 2006, 09:08 AM

AM I AN ALCOHOLIC ????

I am wishing you luck, and having not done the math to figure the tiime difference, I am thinking about you!

**SKendall** · December 8, 2006, 06:05 PM

AM I AN ALCOHOLIC ????

Tell us your story

Hi everyone, I've posted a few times, but haven't taken the daily "plunge".

I was born in Lancashire, spent most of my life in Toronto and then was posted to Dallas, and now to Washington State.

We live in the rain forest here and have an unbelievable amount of rain. When we moved here - early retirement, no kids (they are in Texas), I became hubby's retirement project. I was isolated, away from family and friends and have had some really bad times and lots of sober times.

Hubby became immensely controlling. We have been through counselling and are now ready to move.

I have received so much inspiration from this site, and love ever one (except maybeeeee 1) of you all.

I am making a concentrated effort to do mods, but I believe A.F. is my goal.

Thanks to everyone. KatesM, please done't leave, Tawny, please don't leave.

You underestimate how valuable you are to this community.

Thanks,

**newleaf** · December 26, 2006, 08:51 AM

AM I AN ALCOHOLIC ????

Am brand new here! Not sure how to navigate or use this site.

Did want to say I agree with Lucky!

**sammys** · December 28, 2006, 01:28 PM

AM I AN ALCOHOLIC ????

hello I am new to and they way it seems to me is that if the alcohol is getting you down anytime while drinking or the next day its time to say uncle and make a change that is what I am trying to do. Lets go for it and see what it is like to feel ok everyday and not fly under the radar because of hangovers and anxiety about what you did or said or what you going to do with yourself the next day.

Welcome Guest to My Way Out Forums.

Announcement

AM I AN ALCOHOLIC ????

AM I AN ALCOHOLIC ????

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment