moderation advice

[dove]

Hi all,
I'm new. I posted in the 'just starting out' list and got a suggestion to read in this list. I have a binge drinking problem. More of my story is in my other post if you are interested.
I am wondering if any of you have advice on not overdoing it during christmas. Are there any strategies you all employ to stop after one or two drinks?
One person suggested waiting until later in the evening to start drinking. I think that is a very good idea since during the holidays drinks start flowing at my husband's parent's house anytime after 2pm.

Any strategies for stopping after one or two though? You know just when the buzz starts to yank you towards 3, and 4, and 5......

Thanks

[Quiescent]

moderation advice

Hi Dove
:welcome:

I'm all about giving advice, although I don't ALWAYS follow it, I'm doing much better than I was before I came here.

The choice to make first is: Do I want to give up drinking forever? or Do I want have alcohol in my life and use it and not have it use me?

My choice is #2 for now and I'm not doing it perfectly but I have learned some things along the way.

Don't let other people pour you drinks that's bad!
Measure your drinks.....1 shot is 1 drink
If you are drinking wine you need to know that 5-6 ounces of wine is a glass and know what that looks like in the glass you will be drinking out of or measure it. or bring you own bottle of wine for the day and limit yourself to that bottle for the whole day (we are talking about a holiday party here not an everyday occurance...you can't have a bottle of wine everyday)
Decide before you go how much you will drink and stick to that number. That means starting later to me.
Drinking is a social thing to me so if I'm starting later that means I have to keep myself out of the socialness until later. That means go to the party later or keep yourself busy while others are indulging until later.
Have water sitting there in front of you at all times. I know sometimes I will pick up my glass and take a drink, just to pick it up and take a drink........pick up your water some of the time.

There are a lot of people here who have advice especially for long term moderation. I hope this will help for your party.

Remember drunk is UGLY! :yuk: :no: :egad:

Hugs,
Rachele

[Mighty Mouse II]

moderation advice

Welcome Dove! I think Imagine has given you great advice. Here are some of the things that are working for me. First, I drink everyday because that makes it a lot less likely that I will binge. I alo have spent a great deal of time analyzing exactly what things make me want to drink. For me, cooking, traveling, and stress were the three biggies. Then, I found alternatives -- I don't drink alcohol when I'm cooking anymore. I make a glass of tea in a big wine goblet -- took a little getting used to but now I can't imagine going back to drinking when I'm doing long cooking/baking days (I do allow myself some wine while making the last little preparations for dinner). Traveling, if by plane, I'm scheduling very early morning flights and if by car, I've been preparing myself the day before to commit to not stopping at restaurants that have alcoholic beverages while traveling. And finally, for stress, I have redecorated my bathroom and have wonderful music, aromatherapy and nice scents to help me relax. I should also mention that I rarely drink alone anymore. When I'm drinking with someone, I have a tendency to keep better accounting. Most of the time, I share a bottle of wine with my husband -- there isn't enough in there for anything to happen if we both drink it equally.

For a special day with relatives, I would suggest that you not drink until you get there. But plan some project before you go, or the temptation may be too great. When you first get there and are asked if you want a drink, say "maybe later, but I'd like to start with (something else)". This puts everybody on notice that you are watching your drinking so that they won't keep pushing drinks on you. Let your husband know your goal ahead of time. Then, at cocktail hour, have one and then tell everybody that you and your husband want to take a walk before dinner (exercise, even walking will make you want to drink less). Have a drink at dinner, but also have water or tea -- drink a little wine before you start eating, but drink water during dinner, then enjoy the last of your wine after dinner -- then offer to help clean -up -- don't drink during clean-up -- then have one more drink if you want it before you leave (but convince yourself that if you don't drink anymore you will allow yourself one when you get home (if you have some at home make sure it is only a small one, like one of the six ounze little bottles of wine, that way you will not be able to drink all night). What I have found is that by the time I get home, I'm often too tired to want to drink and I go right to bed.

These are the things that are working for me. Hope they help you!

MM

[Preciouspinot]

moderation advice

Both ladies have given some quality advice here. Just realizing you need a plan is a great first step. More than the generic "I'll drink less" tonight. Rachele is correct in that drunk is ugly. At your next party look around the room. When you're drunk, you can't carry on a clever conversation, you forget people's names and you don't exactly look your best.

[MKR]

moderation advice

All wonderful advise - have one more small piece that helps inspire me through a day into the evening

Waking up feeling rested, truly rested, eyes looking bright, skin looking glowing and realizing, moderation is what does that. Can't wake up feel great if you overdid the night before.

water, water and then some more water.

[dove]

moderation advice

Thank you, thank you, thank you all for the awesome advice. I know I can stay under control, I just need to do it! For the family christmas pary plan I think I will keep without alcohol until dinner and then have one glass of wine with dinner (and water!) and another later on if I want. I don't know if I can trust myself to have just one glass when cocktail hour (3-4pm) rolls around and not have another until dinner(8-9pm). Thank you for the advice about not letting others refill my glass. At these family things my husband's father always has a bottle of wine in his hand refilling everyone's glass even if it is not close to being empty. I've got to keep him from that!
We are flying across the country to see his family and are staying at their house - where the big party will be - so I know I am gonna have to be strong. Not many excuses will work with this crowd. I think I can do it.