Sunday , Dec 10

[Olly]

Good morning all...

Gee, I'm the first awake? And, I slept in! No bad (drinking, black out) dreams last night, and not much waking up. Ahh, the sweet rewards of AF and TIME. I too had fitful nights when I first cut back on the drinking... but then again, I was waking up at 2:00am and 4:00am and 6:00am every night while drinking. But, with time, I've settled into a good sleep routine. I'm feeling really good... rested, no trace of a hangover (it's officially day 13 for me) and ready to pick up the book I'm reading, keep relaxing and enjoy a quiet Sunday. I expect next weekend will be Christams chaos here.... so I'm going to make the most of this last Sunday before the holiday madness.
Have a good one all!
Olly

[blondie]

Sunday , Dec 10

Sunday 10 December

Olly, Olly Olly
Do keep up! We're starting to think about beddie-byes down here now!
Day 13 - Excellent. Doesn't time fly! And I don't race to tick off another AF day on my calendar first thing now. I guess it's the start of what, eeek, "normal" people do in the mornings! (no hangover/greasies/alcohol to contend with!)
Hope you have a relaxing day.
Painted another room in my house with nary a thought of a rewarding drink spurring me on (nor one to cool me down in this 30 degree heat). People having bbqs all around these days which triggered something in my brain, but as I listen to them progress, and the alcohol takes over, they sound loud and ugly (particularly the "cackling" women. Shudder!)
Off to do some weights and read some more Deepak Chopra (as always, thank you Xtexan for your suggestions).
Have a wonderful day everyone
Blondie

[Olly]

Sunday , Dec 10

Hey Blondie, sweet dreams tonight. Guess what? My intentions for a relaxing do-nothing Sunday have turned into a spring-cleaning the kitchen... I mean, every little inch, inside and out. Where did this come from?? Wow, I'm shocked. Last time I did this I had to pop of bottle of wine to gulp as I went to make the job "fun". Yep, I use to consider fun as "cleaning while drinking"...how ridiculus is that? I started back on my supps yesterday and I"m wondering if maybe that's where this huge energy burst is coming from. Whatever, bring it on!!
I just came here to send a PM to someone and saw your post. Thanks.
gotta get back to it,
Olly

[capto]

Sunday , Dec 10

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Good Morning Absville. Capto, Day 9.

Just as soon as we talked about how changed and difficult our sleep patterns had become, I slept all night for the first time in maybe 20 years. My eyes didn?t just groggily open, they popped open. I knew what had happened?I had slept peacefully and comfortably all night long. I hope this will soon be the norm for all of us.
*****
Olly, you alluded to the above this morning.

Blondie, hi. Xtexan, over in Fitness, has been an inspiration to me as well. Loved your ?cackling? adjective.

Lisa, my trainer/advisor handed me a 7 page questionnaire, which among other things has body fat%? Have no idea how they do that. I did discover that the Precor Elliptical machines (my favorite) have a heartbeat measurer. Maybe, I will come on over. I think Xtexan?s motto was ?the more diversions, the better.?

Mike, hi. I tried walking and biking, but find I need the discipline of ?going to the gym? to be regular. Go figure. I think you are the one who put me on to Allen Carr? I?m one-third in. Great Avatar.
Best to all today,
Cap

[dilayne]

Sunday , Dec 10

Morning' Glories..(just posted this on another thread, but wanted to check in here as well)

I just can't keep up with everyone personally right now..but want to send a special hug to Gypsi..and big hugs to everyone who needs them and big cheers to everyone who wants them!

I'm doing pretty good..spent all day decorating the house and enjoyed it..got a little cranky with tangled Xmas lights...just have no patience sometimes with things like that! I'm trying more and more to live in the moment, because it's the only thing that is really real...I experience occassional milleseconds of 'it' and know it is the only way to peace...I think I'm over the holiday stress..just decided not to go there once I remember that I have a choice...of course, I have to remind my self of that fact every day!

I'm going on 9 weeks of ABs..(I think...my official AF/AB day was Oct 16th). It's really very nice to just eliminate the 'issue' all together be closing the door on it...for me, life is just too damned short to be doing battle with the 'A'..I feel the energy being redirected..granted..it's still a little blurry as to where that energy is going, but at least it isn't to the battlefield, and for that, I'm grateful.

Have a lovely Sunday friend!
Di

[mikeupnorth]

Sunday , Dec 10

Good Sunday morning, Absville!

This is really such a wonderful community. I love to see my "old" familiar friends here, yet there are always new people too. And each new person brings something special to Absville and makes it a richer place. I'm so glad you're all here... coming to this board each morning, reading and posting EVERY DAY has helped keep me sober. Not to mention the tremendous support and helpful suggestions I've received along the way from other MWO members...

Anyway as I sit here this dark cold Sunday morning, sipping coffee, I'm looking at your posts about how different you feel when not drinking, how much better you sleep, etc. One of the things that comes to my mind is that I have my weekends back. When I was drinking, I would lose a HUGE chunk of my weekend to drinking and hangover, and before I knew it, it would be Monday and time for work again.

So here is what a typical Saturday was like when I was drinking. I regain consciousness at some random spot in my apartment -- perhaps my bed, but just as likely my couch or sometimes the living room floor. After about 5 seconds of internal assessment I realize that YES, I am hung over. A jolt of adrenaline goes through my body and I have to hold off a panic attack. I jump up and get a glass of something to drink: whatever I can stomach that isn't alcohol. I search my memory of the night before, which is usually spotty at best. I look around my apartment for clues as to what I did. I try to clean up the ugliest evidence. On particularly bad mornings, when I can't remember ANYTHING, I go out and check the status of my car. I try and eat something -- at least a little cereal or fruit -- and then lie down. I may or may not have a headache or upset stomach, but I feel poisoned, dehydrated, "pickled," like the waking dead. I just want to sleep it off. Sometimes if I can't fall asleep I take something to make me drowsy and turn on the television and drift in and out of consciousness all day. I keep the blinds drawn, I turn off the ringer on the telephone, and if anyone knocks on the door, I don't answer it. I am in my own personal hell and will not come out until I am ready.

That was how I chose to spend one day per week for the last several years. Of course I was just as badly hung over several other days of the week, but I had to get up and go to work. Saturday was the one day I could just withdraw from the world and luxuriate in my misery. Yeah, drinking was a lot of fun.

Now, I have my weekends back. I can do with them anything I want, and it's amazing how much I can do when I have both Saturday and Sunday. I have plenty of time to run errands, do housework, and get some much-needed rest. But I no longer spend 24 hours on my couch wallowing in self-pity and remorse, so I've regained a lot of time that used to be wasted. That, along with the 8 hours that I used to spend drinking on Friday night.

I've said something before about the difference between the words "abstinence" and "sobriety." I tend to use the latter. That's because the word abstinence (to me, at least) implies that I am denying myself something that I want, need or would otherwise partake of. It makes it seem that I am deprived somehow. [Given all that I talked about above, why would I ever want to put a drop of alcohol in my body again?] Sobriety, on the other hand, is a natural state of being. Drunkenness is unnatural. Of course it doesn't matter what word I use. What matters is what goes on in my head. I just cannot think that I am depriving myself of something, or that I have "given up" something. If I start thinking I am deprived, I'm at the top of a very slippery slope. What I've done is return to a natural state of being -- and, God willing, I can stay that way.

~ Mike

[pansy]

Sunday , Dec 10

Dec 9

Morning all ... (ha, ha - December 10 ...melatonin grog - at least not booze!!)

Thanks to all who expressed concern about my sleeping. I slept on Saturday morning for about 9 hours and was AF last night. After 9 mg of melatonin, also managed to get in some sleep last night. This issue has followed me since childhood, off and on, and rears its ugly head once in a while. Definitely, I am going to do a sleep study this summer (I am saving all my sick days for my parents right now). I know it is bad when the prescription drugs, which I rarely take so as not to build a tolerance, do not put me out. I do feel - as Mike said - "rebooted." Thankfully, did not need dart gun :H

Mike, you are getting how much daylight now? BRRRRRRR. Fairbanks, cannot imagine how cold. Well, I will check on wunderground.com ... LOL

Olly and Blondie - You two are in the Southern Hemisphere? Christmas and BBQ? Congrats on Day 13 Olly. Enjoy the smell of BBQ, Blondie. I am watching my bay freeze over. No, I am not in hell.

Capto - Day 9 - That is great! I am going to join gym, too. Curves does not do for me. Hours too weird, so I do not go. I also need the structure of going to the gym. Although I don't anticipate a hard winter here, they do not salt or plow the sidewalks ...no more falls for me. I would not mind trying cross country skiing, but not sure we will get ENOUGH snow!

DiLayne - Congrats on week 9! It is great that you are still sharing success with the board.

Melon - Cannot send you the cute avatar I found by PM. Can anyone tell me how to paste a .gif file into a regular board message or attach to a PM?? Just a cute pic, melon.

Happy abs day to all,
Pansy



Who is going to feed Felix his Christmas Mousey? Keep your eyes out for his little treat. He has been such a good Felix all year long, REALLY!!!

[mikeupnorth]

Sunday , Dec 10

daylight

Hey Pansy -- and for anyone else who finds this interesting --

Sunrise today is 10:44 AM, and sunset is 2:46 PM. That gives us 4 hours and 2 minutes of possible sunlight. We are approaching winter solstice, when we have something like 2 hours and 40 minutes of daylight. We're losing about 3 minutes a day right now. (Fairbanks is below the Arctic Circle so there's never a day when the sun doesn't come up.)

The normal high for today is 4 degrees, the normal low is -14. The record high is 45 degrees, the record low is -55. We are having a warm spell right now: it's currently 11 degrees (above zero).

[lucky 2.0]

Sunday , Dec 10

Mike's posts always inspire me. My Alan Carr book arrived yesterday and I plan to read it cover to cover today. Also, I just ordered Campral and am hopeful it will help me as much as it did Kate. I am really ready to make healthy choices on a consistent basis.

Be well all.

[pansy]

Sunday , Dec 10

Lucky!

Hey Lucky,

Enjoy your book, I am sure it will give you some good info - have a nice day reading. I found the same ducky last night when I was hunting for you (Felix likes to hunt for mouseys, but also for Christmas ducks). I have enough topa to last for a about 6 mos - but I am interested in how you find the campral.

Happy Holiday Season Duck,
Pansy

[pansy]

Sunday , Dec 10

BRRRR Mike

Hi Mike,

I do find your info interesting. My ex BF grew up in Fairbanks - I know that at some locations there is much less light. That would be farther north and within the Arctic Circle it does NOT come up during this time period? I used to print out the tables for my students and they were shocked to see the changes in the amount of daylight. But a high of 4 ... BRRRR.

The winter solstice is something I await every year and I spend a good hour over Christmas writing in my planner the amount of daylight gained per week past that point. This peculiar activity may seem somewhat morose, but I am not the one complaining about February being a bleak month! Each day brings more light :H

Thanks Mike, for everything you bring to the boards.

Hugs,
Pansy

[vinophile]

Sunday , Dec 10

Happy Sunday !!!!!
Now that my computer is back in order I can really start to communicate;something I really need to do to pull my act together again.
Let me start with my Friday night folly. I came home in the evening and decided to start the xmas decorating. I put on some xmas music and pulled out all my lights,holly, evergreen etc... I was going to get a lot done. About an hour into my decorating I decided a glass of wine would be nice. I had been AF for the week and decided I "deserved" a glass of wine to "put me in the spirit". Olly I ,too, am a " drink and clean" person so I guess this was not too out of character for me.
Five glasses later I am still surrounded by my decorating paraphanalia and the lights are all twisted. Di, if you think lights are a problem sober you can imagine what a problem they are after 5 glasses of wine (on an empty stomach as of course I hadn't eaten).
I woke up the next morning early as I realized I had to eat something.When I entered the kitchen I noticed there was blood all over the back door and throughout the kitchen. I did a quick body check only to confirm that I had no cuts... all clean. My husband came down stairs and rushed out the door to an appointment he was late for but gave me enough time to see that he was uninjured. At that point I didn't want to ask him if he could "remind" me of why there was blood all over the kitchen floor and the back door.
After a good 20 minutes of "what the heck happended last night" fortunately one of the dogs came downstairs next. He had blood on his nose and then I remembered that he and the other dog had got into a fight when I called them into the house for the night. In my state I probably called them into the house with some food and then just dropped it on the floor,at which point they attacked each other.
so I woke up yesterday morning to a hangover, blood to clean up and lights to reset at they were all over the place......Now is that how we deal with xmas stress???????
I learned a big lesson on Fri night.
I ordered supps ftom the site and am ready to go at it again.
Must run but will be back.
You are all an inspiration ( and funny as well)

Janet

[KatieSmiles]

Sunday , Dec 10

Hi Everyone!
Today I will not drink nor will I become a chat addict!~ wink to pansy and lucky

[pansy]

Sunday , Dec 10

Welcome Katie!! Hope you went snowboarding last night - you are so much cooler than I am.

Hugs,
Pansy

[Newyear]

Sunday , Dec 10

Good Morning!
Allie (kitty cat) and I have been sitting here reading all the posts. Sometimes she makes it out of her chair or the bed to sit in my lap. I've been meaning to say too that the camera adds 10lbs too....(Allie actually asked that I mention that)

Olly- thanks for starting us off this morning. Happy lucky day 13! And Happy day 13 to you too blondie!
I used to really enjoy the drinking and cleaning thing too. Funny how it sounds like such a good idea and then you get very little actually accomplished.
Capto- glad your thinking of getting in the gym and joining some fitness talk. I think it has helped me immensely. Maybe partly for the distraction. But I'm starting to think it is for the stress relief too. I used alcohol to relieve stress and now I think the exercise is helping with that whithout me even realizing it. I haven't thought - oh, I'm stressed I think I'll go workout. In fact, I've been working out mostly early in the morning before most of the stress starts. Hadn't thought about it much but I guess it makes sense.
Dilayne- Great job on 9 weeks!! I started af on oct 28 so I'm just a bit behind you. I had thought about breaking it but I don't think so now.
Mike - Thank you for that post. That is partly why I decided to not talk myself into having 'one with friends' - which I was invited to for this Tuesday coming up.
I don't want to go back to wasting my weekends either. I'm so tired of worrying about 'what happened last night'. Thankyou. Oh- and thanks for the weather report- I can't even imagine it being dark that long. Although I have to say I really have wanted to visit Alaska for a long time. So, you're living my dream right now
Pansy - I love that felix is dressed for the occasion! Glad you got some sleep last night too.
9mg would sure do it for me...I've been taking 1.5 a night lately. Can't seem to go to 0
Lucky - enjoy the book...I think I'll have to get it. Seems everyone thinks a lot of it.

And Janet....wow, what a scary morning that must have been for you! Glad you are ok.
Why does drink and clean always sound so darn good? Yea for your computer being up ok now though!

Hi katie- I think I may be addicted to this website!! happy AF day to you!

Lisa