June modders

[Lila]

Well, it is June 1! Modders, thank you for having me back, I left rather suddenly awhile ago, had a bad few days, and needed to come back here.
For me, I intend for June to be a real time of healing and gathering strength.
I really look forward to sharing with you all.
Lila

[ToMyHealth]

June modders

Lila - Thanks for starting June thread off. Welcome back! Some history?

I'm very new. Been reading lots & few posts, planned for Memorial Day for my start date so on Day 4 AF with 21 or 30 day AF as goal, then have plan in place for moderation. Things are going well, and not sure I will want to start over as each day I'm feeling better and better. Am starting to sleep better and things taste amazingly better. Plan to go visit health store to buy L-Glut and All-in-One today. I'm not experiencing cravings so far so not sure if necessary but....want the All-in-One when I read how it helps one's nails. Tried Kadzu but they made me feel dizzy. I may try again now that the alcohol should be out of my system.

I also look foward to a daily c/i and may switch to night time to do such.

[rebirth]

June modders

Hi Lila and TMH,

I have been taking L-Glut for the past three weeks but I dont think it has helped to be honest. I took it mainly for my sugar cravings but that hasnt really changed. I could still eat three doughnuts if I allowed myself. lol.

So June is another month when I shall be applying moderation in my lifestyle...that goes for alcohol and especially food. When I quit drinking I ate like a demon to compensate for the lack of drinking. But now I have my drinking in control so there is no more excuse to binge eat.

The past seven weeks have been fabulous as I have have finally decided to get off my butt and exercise! There is definitely a surge of seratonin that I get after a workout. It has become my natural high.

x

[j-vo]

June modders

Morning all,
I haven't been here for the past couple of weeks as I've had a hectic schedule with the end of school and my son's busy schedule. I plan to get back soon to get and give support. I've been doing well with moderation, especially with the long holiday weekend last weekend. I've been pleased.

Today is our last day of school!

Talk to you all soon.

[rebirth]

June modders

Hi j-vo I was wondering where you got to. Glad to see you back.

[ToMyHealth]

June modders

Successful Day 4 - almost bedtime and I'm full from dinner so no worries whatsoever. Had an aha moment tonite. I got the bug to re-arrange furniture. After I finished the thought occurred to me in the past I would have been sipping on a glass of wine for hours doing something like that, then I'd have to have one to admire my "creativity". Didn't even cross my mind until I was done and then certainly not tempted. Did not make it to health store. Any opinions amongst you on recommended supplements? Instead walked 2 miles, played 9 holes of golf, took a short nap, biked 5 miles and moved furniture.

J-vo - when you have time, say more please about the moderation. So far this hasn't been that difficult (only 4 days) but weekend is coming up, pretty sure I'll be just fine yet really do not want to think that never will I enjoy a glass of wine again on the lanai with my dh or out for dinner with friends. I just think this abstinence period is exactly what I need to do now.

Good night.

[Lila]

June modders

hi Modders!
TMH - I love arranging furniture, fixing up the house, all that. I would recommend Kudzu, that really helps.
My history - I am a single mom of 3 kids. I am shy, depressive, prone to anxiety and stress! I am in grad school, too. My advisor loaded me up, now am failing an important class and feeling awful. (did i already mention that?) 19 credits this semester. And I am blaming myself! I am usually an A student, or A-. Anyways, am devastated.
Rebirth - I want to exercise again! You're inspiring!
J-vo - thank you for the pm. i am trying to stay strong, i am pretty strong, but couldn't stop crying today.

Just in a few days, i will have time to sit in my yard and just look at the trees, pull up dandelions by their roots, can't wait. And then process this failure of mine. I saw a therapist - she said to have a "parent/child" relationship with myself. Not call myself a failure, just see things as an opportunity to learn. I go back and forth between the two - feeling okay, then feeling horrified and embarrassed that I couldn't pass. It was a Pass/Fail. Everyone passed, not me. Kids - twenty two year old students. Not single moms with 3 kids, with wayyyy too many credits that they thought they had to take. That my advisor said I had to take, and all at once.
I started SAMe, for depression and anxiety. Maybe I will get prescription stuff, not sure. Like antidepressants, not sure. I am a strong person, a driven person, but not a confident person. And I don't know how to get there. I will try meditation. And I will try lowering my stress load.
going on and on - but let's all have a great June!

[rebirth]

June modders

Hey Lila- Feeling down is not a good place to be but it sounds like you are getting the right advise from your councellor. I do relate to how you feel because the last time I was very depressed was during my marriage breakup. I use to wake up and cry, dreading another day that I had to face. I felt like such a loser. Sometimes I even contemplated suicide.
My excessive drinking did not help either!
But I turned it around and decided to move on. It took tremendous effort but i am so glad that I didnt give up. Just hang in there Lila. x

TMH- I love these aha moments! I am so active at night too. I get alot done once I put my son to bed. I use to also sit there and drink but now I exercise and do general housework till it's time for my bedtime. About a year ago I stayed active because I was trying not to drink, but now it's second nature.

I am also moderating very successfully. I only drink at weekends and never excessively. I stick to one drink an hour with a maximum limit per day...fridays I allow myself two glasses of wine, saturday four glasses and sunday two glasses. But I have cut down that amount recently because I still feel tired after the weekend. I love feeling energetic and bright too much!

Cher- I hope you are okay...

Have a great friday all.

[ToMyHealth]

June modders

Had a good day in spite of fact did not sleep worth a darn again last night. Ended up taking some Ibuprofen and then generic Advil PM. Then, of course, wasn't able to get up this a.m., slow start to day. Did manage to do Firm It Up (a Slim Series tape, approx 1 hr), got to health food store, bought L-glut (500 mg) capsules, they did not have the powder but at least with the capsules you can break them open. Mine say to take with food so just took my 1st one. Also bought Milk Thistle which I won't try until I see if L-Glut agrees with me, otherwise, I don't know which one is causing problems if that happens. May take Calm Forte tonight as I can't imagine that being much diff from Melatonin.

Rebirth - isn't it great to be getting a lot more done during the hours we used to spend drinking? Tonite I swept & washed garage floor, unpacked 3 more boxes of books, then went for a 2 mile walk. Glad your moderating is going well. Your program looks what I want to do but with ceiling being 3 drinks at any one time. I like the one/hour bit. Did you do AF period, and if so, for how long?

Lila - ugh!!! Overload; you don't need that with everything else you have on your plate. So glad you will get to smell the roses soon!

Friday night is big Happy Hour in our community. I almost went because I feel so strong in wanting to do this AF period, knowing I could drink either Diet Tonic w/Lime or even a non-alcoholic beer. Also, I'm here w/o dh and get kind of lonesome but I thought better of it. Have a good friend who often says "you can take away a lot of things from me, but don't take away my alcohol" and pretty certain she would be there and thought why tempt myself. Maybe next Friday when I have another week done.

AF Day 5

[ToMyHealth]

June modders

Lila - forgot - 1st thing I ordered was Kadzu along with the book. Made me feel quite dizzy. And that was taking no more than 2/day. As soon as I quit it, the dizziness went away. This was before I started my AF period and was already moderating, had taken one tablet one afternoon, went to visit son & he had bought me wine and it was a day I had an "okay" to drink. The wine did not taste right at all! Didn't stop me from drinking it but it definitely altered the taste. May try again in the future.

[Lila]

June modders

tmh - interesting reaction. it has always curbed my drinking. but i don't always take it. i guess i have been overloaded with courses, and not bothered. well, that is over.
rebirth - i never thought about how drinking affects the next day. I don't get hangovers, but maybe that doesn't mean it is not affecting me. you are inspiring me, actually all of you!

my course is over. i get an "Incomplete" and get to feel like a failure. My therapist said to nurture my inner child, not talk to myself that way. I got an Incomplete because I have no self-confidence. Well, I am strong and determined, but the self-confidence piece is sooo shaky. Okay, I had a bad childhood. Maybe I have to peel back that layer and deal with it. I left home very very early in life. She said it must have been for a good reason, and I have been wanting to have a good cry ever since. I had expected her to say how brave I was to leave home at 15, but it was how bad things must have been. Yes, they were. Can I ever be whole?
So they won't pass me right now. ugh!!! But now I am free, as of today. Summer vacation!!! Maybe I won't even take any more classes.
Not to "tmi" you all - just wondering if you all have had similar issues.

[j-vo]

June modders

Morning Modders,

Lila, that is an extremely huge load for you or anyone. Don't get down on yourself. Look at all of the credits you did receive this semester, write down all of the things you did accomplish. The young kids don't have the enormous responsibilities you have, especially being a single mom of three. You're incredibly strong to be able to do that.

Rebirth, sounds as though you're doing excellent. Your consistency with moderation is what we all want and you're a great inspiration. It can be done. Keep it up, girl.

Tomyhealth, nice to see you here. Moderation is a process. I've read the "Responsible Drinking" book and got so many tips to make moderation successful. It's a great reference and workbook. How long is your AF period?

Have a great weekend all!

[Lila]

June modders

thanks J-vo - I am coming around, now determined to have a balanced life, not run myself ragged.

[ToMyHealth]

June modders

Hello! Having a little harder time tonite. Interesting because I started the L-Glut yesterday. Last night being Friday did not even really phase me. I've had a very active day (run, lifted wts, played 18 holes of golf) so I am tired. Did not want to take even a short nap though because sleep is still a little iffy for me. I'm doing laundry, got my outfit ready for church tomorrow, and (please don't laugh) found myself missing my wine glass so I went ahead and poured my Club Soda with Limes in a wine glass. It helped.

J-vo - AF period so far is 6 days. Yeah me! I originally had decided to do 30 which takes me til June 28then read a 'controlling drinking' type book which recommended 14, but I want to do at least 21 (for the breaking/establishing new habit). I have a feeling it's going to land between 21 and 30. Am separated logistically from my dh and will meet up with him in Canada on June 25th where we will be celebrating granddaughter's h.s. graduation on the 28th. Plan to wait until at least then and that would give me 27 days AF. Just think by Monday, I'll be under 20 to go IF I want to look at it that way. I know, I know ODAT.

[rebirth]

June modders

Hey Modders
Happy Monday!

Lila- Yes I truly believe that we can be whole despite our emotional baggage. We cannot change what happened in the past but we can change the way we chose to think about it. I truly believe that. I love anything related with self healing...meditation.I am full of insecurities but it’s possible to become emotional strong and it can become a way of life.And you are strong. You just don’t believe you are. It’s not easy but just keep trying. X

TMH- Yes it’s great to have all this free time! Well done on your AF days so far! I started my sobriety journey exactly a year ago. I managed five months AF through the support of AA and this site.I then decided to moderate after that. AA members told me that it’s impossible for me to moderate because I am a functioning alcoholic. But I have been moderating for nearly seven months so far and I have lost the compulsion to want to be drunk. The thought appals me.
Good for you for not going on Friday. And isn’t it strange how it’s acceptable to get drunk? I hear it all the time..” I am going to stay at home and get thoroughly drunk!”, “ My friend broke his leg cause he was drunk and fell out a tree”, “I slept with him but only cause I was drunk”. Makes me shudder. I have quite a few horror stories to tell from my drinking days. Cringe.

Hi J-vo- Good to hear from you.

I am still exercising on a daily basis. I have lost another pound so I am really pleased!