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[Atox]

This is all very new to me. Ive often looked at this site but this is the first time I've taken the plunge to write. All I know is I can't carry on like this. I kicked anorexia at 19yrs now at 44 I;m obsessed by alcohol. Every night I go to bed and wake up disgusted by my lack of self control.

[betty boop]

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HI Atox and :welcome:

You really have come to the right place, well done................

Keep reading the posts, there are some very clever people around here, they are very supportive.

All the best..

Paula :l :h :l

[Atox]

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Thanks. I was hoping to add more to my post but got interrupted... Any way I have 3 children the youngest has downs with severe learning disabilities. My parents who were a great support are now both dead, so I feel very alone. My husband is lovely but unable to support me on this. I am an optometrist and store manager. So why am I throwing this all away?

[betty boop]

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Hi Atox, I think that by addressing it you aren't throwing everything away. This addiction is very very powerful, but you are going in the right direction. Have you downloaded the book, it is excellent.

Spend some time reading the other posts, you will get inspiration from them.

Paula xx:l :h :l

[samadhi]

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Atox - just wanted to drop a note of support. We have alot in common. I just turned 46 - I too, kicked anorexia at about 18. I have an autistic son who has alot of needs. And I relate to the obsessive thinking. With anorexia, not eating and my weight was all I thought about. I had a short period of time not really being obsessed (not sure?) and then, right after a breakup - turned to the bottle and have thought about it ever since. I an constantly obsessing about how I hate myself because of it, hiding it, buying it, figuring out ways not to drink, etc. I just want the thoughts to go away. Anyway, great to meet you - keep posting. I just started back after almost 6 months off. Good luck to al of us! :h

[Atox]

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I feel such a failure and I'm sure this relates to my teenage years. I can forgive others but not myself???
I'm really frightened. I remember the anorexia and daily fear of death. I just feel "here we go again"

[Popeye]

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Hi Atox

Chin up! The fear is natural but we're all here to help you out. You've found a good place.

[weemelonhead]

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Hi Atox...Welcome!!!
You obviously have a very full life AND you are addressing your alcohol problems....way to go...this is not the sort of stuff I would describe as 'failing'....this is just the start of something better...much better.
There was a post recently by Mike, who describes his addiction and sobriety as two seperate paths...the image he created could be applied to ANY form of repetitive self destructive behaviour and is WELL worth reading...I started this post before I checked, and cannot remember which thread it was on but will check now and try to find it....Stick here (glue/double sided sticky tape/blu tac...whatever you need!!)
I work closely with young peple with special needs every day, and do 60 hours a week caring for a delicious young man with severe cerebral palsy.....I get to go home at the end of the day.......knackered I might add....so to you, Samhadi and Mike...I only get a bit of the picture, but EVERY day...I throw my hat down to parents with children with special needs...you are an amazing bunch!!!!......
keep posting Atox...Pauly is right...you've found a good place Weemelon xxx

[weemelonhead]

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Gaaaahhhhh!!!! cannot find it.....too much to read. I will pm mike and see if he can remember which thread it was....sorry, promise the earth and deliver a small nugget of soil....plenty of other good stuff to read though while you're waiting........love Melon

[Beaches]

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Hi Atox,

I am a mother of three and have a son who has autism.

Welcome and keep on reading and posting. The best decision you made was to come here. It's not a magic pill overnight, it's a journey with it's ups and downs. The downs become less and less until it's all up hill.

[weemelonhead]

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Hi Atox...Good old Mike, he posted under the long term abstinence forum, in stollies1 thread , first zmas party hurdle.....read his picture, that guy has SUCH a way with words.....Weemelon xoxo

[Atox]

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You all sound so together. I managed 1AF yesterday including a works christmas do but on my own most of today with lots of chores and yes the odd 1 or 2 glasses of wine then a whole bottle. Now on second ...

[DogLvr]

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Remember why you came here - and how you are strong enough to change old habits... Good luck - I am rooting for you!! Just switch to Coca Cola or Cranberry & soda...