Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

May I join you?

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
    #1

    May I join you?

    Good Morning! May I join you?

    I have been struggling for a long time with making a commitment to abstinence. I have known that this is where I need to be, but have held on to the lie that I could moderate. I can't, plain and simple.

    I am harming my relationships and my body and quite frankly, I know that this is a slow path to destroying the life that I love and even to death. That may sound like I am being dramatic, but I am 53 years old and I am tired of feeling this way. I have done so much better since finding this site, but every now and then I slip and I just can't do that anymore. I am so very tired of being disappointed in myself.

    It's time for me to be here with you. I quite drinking for 5 years, from 1988 until 1993. Not a drop. No re-hab, no meds, just determination and behavior modification. So, I know I can do it. I go for days at a time, and it doesn't bother me. I never go to bars. I don't drink and drive. I never miss work because of a hang over. I drink to celebrate feeling great, I drink when I am lonely, and I drink when I am mad. I drink at home.

    I'm purging my soul here, I know. Maybe doesn't make much sense. I have been awake, thinking since the wee hours of this new day. My first day of abstinence!

    I am doing this for me. Not because anyone has given me an ultimatum. Although, I know that my husband despirately wants this, because he cares for me and for us. I am doing this so that I can have the best of my life. I am doing this so that I can live.

    No more struggling. What a relief! I am here. With you, my new friends! I hope to get to know you much better.

    Thanks for listening. Hugs :l

    Best
    "It wasn't all I wanted, but all I could stand!":bigwink: Alcohol free since April 8, 2008
    Tags: None
    #2
    May I join you?

    Hi Best.

    'I am harming my relationships and my body and quite frankly, I know that this is a slow path to destroying the life that I love and even to death. That may sound like I am being dramatic, but I am 53 years old and I am tired of feeling this way. I have done so much better since finding this site, but every now and then I slip and I just can't do that anymore. I am so very tired of being disappointed in myself.'

    What you say makes perfect sense....as usual....

    Good luck
    :l

    Comment

      #3
      May I join you?

      my reminder

      Hello Best,

      I started posting here very recently too (and am on day 12 of abstinence - hallelujia!!). Here's what I wrote in my diary last night:

      A REMINDER

      This is a friendly reminder as to why I don?t drink alcohol anymore:

      1) Lucidity - and a brain working at its optimum at all times is extremely important to me, so as to assist me to succeed in my career (it worked for Jeffrey Archer ? sometimes!)
      2) Awareness and spirituality ? a sober mind leads to ever greater awareness. A hazy addled mind is retrogressive to awareness. Awareness = understanding = inner peace.
      3) Addiction ? I have an addictive nature, and like other substances that I had to stop using, I have to also relinquish this, as I know I am unable to stop once alcohol passes my lips. It will simply escalate out of control once again if I ever start drinking again.

      Oh yes, and take it one day at a time.

      Also, don?t ever forget the bloody awful hangovers (they were getting really bad ? the last one lasted four days), and the fact that my self-esteem has gone up markedly since quitting. These alone are two huge factors.

      Cheers,

      Neil

      Comment

        #4
        May I join you?

        Hi Best Paul and Neil-
        Best- I want to congratulate you on your new beginning. It never works to make this decision for someone else so the fact that you are doing this for you is Hugely important. 5 years! You did this for 5 years - so you know you can do it now. Just takes some patience and time and the will to do it. I'm encouraged and inspired by your new committment too.

        Neil - thanks for the reminders and congrats on 12 af days!

        Paul- hope you get your ac/heat fixed soon! Good luck.

        Lisa

        Comment

          #5
          May I join you?

          Hi Best,
          Congrats on your decision! Sounds like you have come to acceptance and have the willingness to change your life for the better. It is a relief isn't it? So glad you are here! :h

          Hi Neil, Paul and Lisa!! Happy to see our little section growing!

          Comment

            #6
            May I join you?

            So glad to have Best on the abs train!!! Best, I have complete confidence in you.

            Moderation still seems like a utopian dream and abs is soooooo much easier!

            Comment

              #7
              May I join you?

              Best......I think Lucky's right...for some of us, mods just isn't an option, going abs takes all the dilemas away...how much can I still drink/how often/how drunk is not too drunk so I can still say that I'm moderating....bash it on the head....
              Nice points raised by Neil there, I agree with every one
              And ditto Lisa, you've done this once without any meds etc...going with a whole bag of help should make it much easier if you chose to...you can do this....
              And morning to Pauly and Gina.....Hugs all round for the Abbers......Melonhead xoxoxo

              Comment

                #8
                May I join you?

                Thanks guys! I appreciate all the support! I want to see things positively again. I have so much to be grateful for. I know this will be better, eventually.

                XOXOXOXO

                Best
                "It wasn't all I wanted, but all I could stand!":bigwink: Alcohol free since April 8, 2008

                Comment

                  #9
                  May I join you?

                  Hi Best!!!

                  It's a struggle (that's putting it lightly) to hang on to the thought that we can drink like normal (whatever that is) people. When I came to terms that moderation was something I could never do I cried like a baby and felt like something had died inside of me. But now I'm actually moving forward and not stuck in the same place I've been for decades. I can see all those things I dreamed of doing coming true now. I'm beginning to understand who I am and liking myself again. The thought of the drinking buzz is something I no longer desire I love having a clear mind and not suffering through hangovers, guilt and all of the bad stuff that comes with being an alcholic. I hate that word!!

                  Have a great day,
                  spacie

                  Comment

                    #10
                    May I join you?

                    By all means, Best -- come on and join us! The more, the merrier!

                    We've all discovered, by whatever means necessary, that we cannot drink moderately. And many of us have come to realize that we don't even want to drink moderately. It's not as if we are being deprived of anything whatsoever, because alcohol doesn't add anything to a person's life at all.... it simply takes things away. Once we can understand that, it's very easy to "let it go." If a thing offers no benefits, why cling to it, even "in moderation?"

                    Would I want to sniff glue "moderately?" Would I want to huff gasoline fumes "in moderation?" Would I want to snort or shoot up crystal meth "moderately?" No, No, and NO! The only difference between those activities and drinking alcohol is that alcohol is legal and socially acceptable and the others are not. THAT IS THE ONLY DIFFERENCE.

                    So welcome, and here's to our collective sobriety!

                    ~ Mike
                    "Few things are impossible to diligence and skill. Great works are performed not by strength, but perseverance." -- Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)

                    Comment

                      #11
                      May I join you?

                      Welcome Best,
                      So glad to see you join us, just settle in and make yourself at home...Like you, my reasons for drinking were many and varied...good day at work..celebrate...bad day at work...console myself..on holiday...hey way to go, get drunk. If I added up all the days wasted because I was either, drinking, drunk or to hungover to get out of bed, my God, what a waste of that precious gift called LIFE.
                      You have my outmost admiration also for going for 5 years AF, which must prove to you that you have that inner strength required to do this.

                      Take care and catch you later

                      Love Louise xxx
                      A F F L..
                      Alcohol Free For Life

                      Comment

                        #12
                        May I join you?

                        Welcome Best..just a flyby here...my husband and I've been sick with a virus since Christmas...but wanted to jump in and share in the welcome wagon!!!
                        d

                        Comment

                          #13
                          May I join you?

                          I'm on the welcoming wagon also Best. Welcome.

                          I reckon I tried so hard to moderate... I tried for years. I think I knew it all along but I fought my decision to come here like you wouldnt imagine. Now, I wonder how/why it took me that long!!!! I was going to say what Kate said, but as usual she got the words out before I could!!!! so snap Kate.

                          Louise,
                          how long have you been sober now? I missed your entry here and I was just wondering, if its ok.

                          hi to everyone else also.
                          brigid

                          Comment

                            #14
                            May I join you?

                            Hi Brigid,
                            You know it's funny, but at the start you count every day, then after awhile you realise three or four days have past and you haven't even thought about it...I had my last drink on Friday 29th Sept, so have been AF for91 days...My God, you know this is weird, got up this morning and felt really down, must leave for work in half an hour, so thought I would just check in here for a few minutes, read your post Brigid and just counting up my AF days has changed my mood...thanks Brigid and God..
                            A F F L..
                            Alcohol Free For Life

                            Comment

                              #15
                              May I join you?

                              Louise,
                              this is 'out there'... but here goes.

                              Firstly, you are right.. when you start.. you count.. I counted the seconds!!!!.. but you had your last drink on my birthday (how odd is that).. talk about synchronous!!!!

                              Life eh!!! Much better sober.
                              Brigid

                              Comment

                              Previous template Next
                              Working...
                              X