Is Mods really attainable?

[Suzanna]

Hi all,

I notice that the mods board is not really visited as much, and there is not alot of activity. What do you all really think, is mods attainable? Or is it considered a pathway towards abstinence? I have read that we should do 30 days abs and then graduate to mods. I have not been able to do that, but I also am not one who drinks and becomes abusive or blacks out, nothing much really happens to me at all actually. I have usually 3 glasses of wine, or 2 vodka seltzer's and a beer, then go to sleep. I personally feel that I would like to attain abstinence, but the work involved is hard for me right now. Once I just stopped drinking for 4 years! I had a young child and a great job and I said, that's enough nonsense with this taking control of my life, and I just stopped. Why then? What planets alligned to have that happen for me then and not now? So the question now is, is mods a viable goal or are we putting off the work of abstinence? :h Suz

[southernbelle47]

Is Mods really attainable?

Hi Suz
Moderation has not worked for me. I don't know how old you are but I started to have problems moderating after I turned fifty. I had not had a problem until then. The last almost ten years have been a series of ups and downs. My hubby retired at a yound age(48) and my daughter got married and moved to another state. It was not a happy marriage (drug & alcohol abuse) so she moved home with two kids. My oldest son got married and also moved out of state but is happily married(thank God) Then we sold out home of twenty five years and moved to the country fron a big city. My youngest son then decided (2001) to join the marine corp. In 2003 he went to Iraq.
THIS is when my "chickens" came home to roost with the drinking. I found myself not able to control that one or two a day.
I've heard that acoholisim is progressive . Also I've read that one drink a day....everyday is HEAVY drinking for a woman.
I've probably given you too much info. I hope your not sorry you asked.
I think SOME people may be able to drink moderately. I'm not one of them.
May God bless you.
Nancy:h

[lushy]

Is Mods really attainable?

Hi Suz, I do not have a lot of time to go into much detail but this subject has been on my mind a lot lately. I truly believe that some, if not many, of us can obtain moderation. In fact, I know of a couple of people on the mods board who are doing it quite well. (BTW, we do post a lot on the monthly mods board because it is too hard to try and post on both boards). I think for most of us here though that are questioning their drinking habit that abs SHOULD be the choice we make but we do not want to give up the hope of mods. It is interesting question and I am curious what others have to say. If I could stick with drinking 2-3 drinks like you do on the days I allow myself to drink I would be very happy. I am on that path to figure if it is a possibility for me.

[Suzanna]

Is Mods really attainable?

not sorry

Southernbelle, you have alot on your plate. I'm 48 so will be hitting the five-oh pretty soon, but we are in the same ballpark agewise. God bless your son serving in Iraq. Maybe I am fooling myself with this mods but since finding this site I am mindful and drinking less. I do hope to do mods and graduate to abs, I had 2 AF days, Jan. 1 and 2, then cravings got the best of me, but I am not on meds right now, just supps which do help. Suz

[Suzanna]

Is Mods really attainable?

well

Lush, it doesn't always work for me, staying at 1 or 2, but mostly recently I am doing okay. OK I hadn't checked into the monthly moderation board. We are all busy guys and gals with busy lives and lots of balls in the air! This was a question on my mind too so that's why I wanted all you intelligent folks to weigh in on it with me. What attracted me to this site was the fact that it was not a hard in your face give it up and repent to the higher power and give up lots of money for the secret to success for controlling your drinking kind of thing. There was a choice. And I do like knowing that we are all on a journey together and improving with support of great new friends along the way. Suz

[southernbelle47]

Is Mods really attainable?

Suz...........this IS a good place to walk on our jouney...and that is what it is. It helps to have friends to share our load.
BTW...my son is home safe and sound and the rest of my life has settled down.

What supps are you using and for how long? They do help and spending time here is a Godsend.
I also don't keep wine (drink of choice) in the house.

Rj set up longterm abs and longterm mods for some of the folks who had been here for awhile and felt there needed to be a place for them to move on to. Some of them still post but some have moved on with their lives .

:l Nancy

[Saint Jude]

Is Mods really attainable?

I'm here! Just not usually much activity down here, so I post up in the monthly mods section a lot. I guess I'm cosidered an "oldie" ... A year here now!:danthin: :wow3: So far,... so good!

A few slips but nothing major. Haven't called in sick or dead to work in over a year! That's a BIG one for me!

[Mighty Mouse II]

Is Mods really attainable?

Dear Suzanna, Welcome!!

For me, moderation has worked very well and this Board was a great help in creating a program that worked because I could freely discuss the specific problems that were causing me to drink excessively, set goals to try to overcome it and then talk about what was working and what wasn't. What you will find here is that everybody is unique, defines their own goals, and then attempts to find ways to achieve them. It is great because no one sits in judgment of anyone else. For me having AB days does not work. I need daily goals, something I can do every single day. Then, when I accomplsih that goal, I make it a little more challenging for another thirty days. If I slip up, I very carefully evaluate why and then plan a course of action so I don't do it again. It works very well for me, though occasionally, I slip. It is an up-and-down process, but hopefully on an upward trend.

I only drink wine and I try to limit it to red wine, though I will have a chardonney now and then. According to the American Medical Association, two glasses of red wine a day is healthy. Even Dr. Perricone, (the diet I follow), suggests one glass of wine a day. The French Institute suggests anywhere from three to five glasses a day, but most researchers even taking in to consideration the "French Paradox", recommends no more than three glasses of red wine a day; there are significant studies in Southern France to support their assertions, though some would argue that the diet there (similar to Perricone) is also a major factor. I have studied the Scientific Journals on this for years. Below is an article I found by Lisa Shea on www.wineintro.com, which I think explains the French Paradox very well:

"The French Paradox - Helping Fight Heart Disease
So, assuming a glass of wine with dinner every day, what benefits will this wine bring to your body? Current research by UCA-Davis has shown that the wine is reducing coronary heart disease incidence. This was known as the "French Paradox" for a while, because doctors couldn't figure out why cream-loving French weren't dying from heart attacks frequently. Wine, it turns out, was the answer.

What is wine doing? The wine is altering the blood lipid levels. It lowers the total cholesterol count by both raising the high density lipoprotein (HDL) levels while lowering LDL levels. In essence, it keeps the blood vessels clean. Wine has been shown to decrease the "stickiness" of platelets, so that blood is less likely to clump inside blood vessels. Studies find that the stickiness effect lasts around 2 days, which is why a glass a day is so helpful.

For those looking to maintain a healthy weight, wine helps lower glucose and insulin levels. Moderate drinking can reduce blood pressure as well.

Many of the health benefits are caused by the resveratrol naturally found in the wine grapes. In fact, a Copenhagen heart study followed 130,000 people for 10 years. Those patients who averaged 6 glasses of wine a week had death rates that were 30-40% lower than normal.

In general, researchers have found that those who drink 1-3 glasses a day regularly are healthier than those who drink none, and also than those who drink more.

Any alcohol, like any other food item, can be used properly, or can be used to excess. Some people are sensitive to the natural sulfites found in wine - sulfites are higher in whites than in reds. Others get migrane headaches from too many tannins, which are found mostly in red wines. While avoiding misuse, we should also rejoice in the many fine benefits that can be had by properly using wine as it was meant to be used - in moderation.

Caloric Chart
5oz Wine: 100
5oz "Lite" wine: 80
12oz Wine Spritzer: 120
12oz Wine Cooler: 215

Caveat: I am not a doctor ... for detailed answers about how wine will affect you personally given your medical condition and lifestyle, contact your family physician

Note: A great deal of research and work went into my wine / health pages. If you use this information, please credit me properly. Thanks! " (by Lisa Shea at www.wineintro.com)


Again, welcome aboard. Hope the information helps.

MM

[dilayne]

Is Mods really attainable?

Hi Suzanne..just flying by here but wanted to contribute. I think Mods is attainable to some, but it is a very personal thing. I think you have to try it to find out if it is possible for you. My story is similar to Southernbelle's..I'm 48 and was actually abstinent for about 16 years..when the kids grew up my husband and I decided to let our hair down and drink..I really tried to drink moderately but would end of binge drinking at least once a month, sometimes more..binge drinking for me would be a large bottle of wine (sometimes a little more). That wasn't OK with me. Drinking just 2 glasses of wine would have been ideal, but I found it to be a major struggle to do..my decision to go Abs came mostly from the desire not to expend so much mental energy on controlling my drinking. To get rid of it freed up my life. I think if moderation consist of a constant battle, lots of failures and dissappointments, one should probably get real about their ability. If it's relatively effortless and satisfying, then moderation is the way to go. I think it's a personal journey for most of us and there are wonderful people here to share the journey. Good luck in whatever you do!

[southernbelle47]

Is Mods really attainable?

Thanks for the site referral MM. I went there and read. I think I may have an allergy to some ingredients in wine.

Hi Di......ditto on what you said.

Nancy:l

[InnerStrength]

Is Mods really attainable?

Hi all
This IS a very interesting topic and one that has been subject to some debate before. I think, too, that whether mods is possible is a very personal thing. I have had some fairly bad slips the past few weeks (I was on vacation) and am also questioning my ability to do mods. This is something I am pondering and will have to think seriously about. I know this: I am not drinking today and cannot drink on weekdays. If I can't do that, then, for me, mods as a concept just isnt possible, i dont think. I was doing extremely well with mods in oct, nov and early december but when i was off work and on vacation, it was like all my hard work went out the window. Well, in all fairness I had also gone off the topa. Which I am back on as of today.
So, very interesting topic - not sure there is an "answer" but would love also to hear more input.
Hugs
Jen

[Suzanna]

Is Mods really attainable?

mods or abs

MM Thank you for the welcome! And that was great research that you found and very interesting. White wine gives me a headache and the tannins in most red kind of bother me, lately I read somewhere that there were less tannins in pino noir so that is what I drink now. I have tried many different ways to "trick" myself into drinking less, expending alot of energy and conscious effort into telling myself, ok don't have a drink before 7 pm, okay lets put alot of ice in the glass (cuz you know they ain't 5 oz glasses)! Putting ice in the wine is taboo to the connessiors (I know I mangled that spelling), but hey, I have needed to slow myself down somehow. Switching to beer, then not finishing the beer because I think of the calories, then playing a meditation tape and telling myself, that's enough. Just telling myself that's enough seems to have been working. Saint Jude, are you doing the holosync? Or is that Lush? Still plugging away with that and it has helped, now I play it at bedtime. Southernbelle, I am glad your son is home! My son has a friend who went back for a 2nd tour and another buddy who is going in a couple of months, but he is supposed to serve as medic on the base and they assure me he'll be alright. Dilayne, with all the thought that we put into mods, it is alot of work and conscious effort, but I'd like to keep at mods and see if I can maybe taper off. My greatest wish is one day I'll wake up and I won't have to think about it so hard, that it will just fall away. Jennah you have done great! Don't let some temporary slips get you down or erase all the good that you have done. I've followed you on the boards! You're awesome! :h Suz

[southernbelle47]

Is Mods really attainable?

I read today in Good Housekeeping magazine (Dr. Phil)that to break a habit, you have to replace it with something else. It said that we have to have a plan in place. So if we want to NOT drink.....then what DO we do? For me, I have to not have it in the house and have other activities. I read books,get on here and read and I also crochet. Also gardening and planning to garden. I moved some blueberry plants today and ordered seed for spring. I did two loads of laundry and put clean sheets on two beds.I cooked a pot of chicken veggie soup and read some more in the Good housekeeping. When I sign off here I'm going to take a bath or shower and read a book.
Tomorrow I'm going to puppy sit for my son and daughter-in-love. Belle will like having company!
I think it will be raining here so it will be a good day to visit with our 90 year old aunt.
Dr. Phil said that if you normally come home and enter through the kitchen and consume 1000 calories in junk food before dinner, then you should change your path and come in the front door and change clothes and take a walk before you go into the kitchen for dinner. I know some people don't like him but that made sense to me. Avoid the temptation and decide before on a plan.

:h Nancy

[Mackeral]

Is Mods really attainable?

Hiya Suz,
This must be the nagging question at the back of everyones mind..In my opinion getting that first month AF is a massive step..And i bet after that month you would be so proud of yourself you want 2months and so on...I think i went nearly 5 months before the mods question got the better of me..and i had to give it a go....All i can say is after a decent spell of abs, Mods is definatly more do-able..Thats if you dont go over the top when you do try it..

I suppose its down to the person and their own frame of mind...But you dont sound like you binge drink...so for you it might be more attainable..

Good Luck Suz

[irishlady]

Is Mods really attainable?

I agree with you Nancy about not drinking and replacing one habit with another...you have to keep your mind and hands busy when you stop drinking, but that was a better option for me than mods, I tried that several times, Oh those voices in my head nearly drove me crazy....when should I drink?? how much? two glasses or three? what time should I have first drink?? on and on, and of course I never kept it at two or three glasses so then in came my friends DISGUST AND FAILURE to taunt me and make sure I drank even more....So I stopped altogether and the feeling of freedom from not having to make choices which I knew I would never stick to, well I feel as if I have broken out of those chains, hopefully for ever...If you can do moderation and you are happy with it then I take my hat off to you, because I know it's a road I can never travel.