Hi all,
I'm happy that I found this site on 2nd January (I signed in as Rosy_Cross, but this name is more me).
I've now had four days alcohol free - and am doing it tough at the moment.
But you know what no-one tells you out there in the world?
It's not actually the not drinking that makes it tough - it's:
the thought of never again
the thought that I can't do what I want to do
the thought that I am somehow being controlled by not drinking (silly, when I was much more controlled by drinking)
the thought that I'm bloody unlucky to have a weakness for drink
the thought that really I'm just waiting for things to "go back to normal"
So I remind myself of the awful little secret things I used to do:
Sitting in the pub or at a friend's place, realising that I was unconsciously checking the level in everyone's glass to see when the next drink would be
Topping the wine up at home for me and my boyfriend - but taking a few gulps out of my glass first and then refilling it
"Accidentally" choosing recipes which needed half a cup of wine, as an excuse to buy some
If out drinking, not wanting to go for something to eat, as it would slow down the flow of alcohol
Staying out even when the people I actually wanted to be out with had long gone, just for the fun of staying out, drinking more and talking crap with anyone
Turning up to work reeking of alcohol from the night before and always sucking on breath mints and spraying perfume
When I remember these things, I am fine... but I have noticed that little justifications start to creep back in. For example, tomorrow my boyfriend and I are going to an expensive restaurant in Sydney. Part of me is saying, "It will be okay. You can have half a bottle of wine. It's expensive wine, it's an expensive place... you should have the full experience. It's only once... it's your Christmas present to each other, after all."
Sure... and that sounds okay... but part of me thinks - if moderation is something I could do... why haven't I done it already?
Then again, maybe the reason I've never done moderation is because I've never tried it before. I've never set myself a limit before - I always drank til the booze ran out, or I couldn't physically drink any more, or I passed out... It's hard to know what to think.
Although I think writing this has helped me come to one conclusion at least. I think alcohol-free should be the way to go for the time being.
I'd be really interested to know other people's thoughts on choosing AF or mods.
Thank you
I'm happy that I found this site on 2nd January (I signed in as Rosy_Cross, but this name is more me).
I've now had four days alcohol free - and am doing it tough at the moment.
But you know what no-one tells you out there in the world?
It's not actually the not drinking that makes it tough - it's:
the thought of never again
the thought that I can't do what I want to do
the thought that I am somehow being controlled by not drinking (silly, when I was much more controlled by drinking)
the thought that I'm bloody unlucky to have a weakness for drink
the thought that really I'm just waiting for things to "go back to normal"
So I remind myself of the awful little secret things I used to do:
Sitting in the pub or at a friend's place, realising that I was unconsciously checking the level in everyone's glass to see when the next drink would be
Topping the wine up at home for me and my boyfriend - but taking a few gulps out of my glass first and then refilling it
"Accidentally" choosing recipes which needed half a cup of wine, as an excuse to buy some
If out drinking, not wanting to go for something to eat, as it would slow down the flow of alcohol
Staying out even when the people I actually wanted to be out with had long gone, just for the fun of staying out, drinking more and talking crap with anyone
Turning up to work reeking of alcohol from the night before and always sucking on breath mints and spraying perfume
When I remember these things, I am fine... but I have noticed that little justifications start to creep back in. For example, tomorrow my boyfriend and I are going to an expensive restaurant in Sydney. Part of me is saying, "It will be okay. You can have half a bottle of wine. It's expensive wine, it's an expensive place... you should have the full experience. It's only once... it's your Christmas present to each other, after all."
Sure... and that sounds okay... but part of me thinks - if moderation is something I could do... why haven't I done it already?
Then again, maybe the reason I've never done moderation is because I've never tried it before. I've never set myself a limit before - I always drank til the booze ran out, or I couldn't physically drink any more, or I passed out... It's hard to know what to think.
Although I think writing this has helped me come to one conclusion at least. I think alcohol-free should be the way to go for the time being.
I'd be really interested to know other people's thoughts on choosing AF or mods.
Thank you
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