Question for anyone living AF

[Chillgirl]

Hi Guys

I would be grateful if you could share with me what your thoughts were when you 1st either discovered this site or decided to quit drinking.

For me when I finally admitted I had an alcohol dependancy I decided pretty quickly that I would quit for good and actually planned my quit date 3 weeks before hand. This gave me time to think it all through, put a plan in place, say goodbye to AL and imagine my life without it.
I know for lots this method doesnt work and im interested to know what different people go through and what is the most successful method for long term abstainence?

Did you just try to stop for a period of say 30 days and then it just carried on from there?

Are you still unsure if its forever?

Was it ODAT (one day at a time) with no actually plan?

Does dealing with it short term work better for most because the bigger picture is too scary?
For me the "forever" of quitting was actually a benefit rather than a hinderance.

How many had serious relaspes before finally saying enough?

I look forward to hearing your views.....

Chill

[Lavande]

Question for anyone living AF

Good question Chill!

I was scared shitless when I found MWO - to be perfectly honest

I knew I had several immediate & pressing reasons to quit but needed some support, guidance & companionship really. To be honest I was still harboring hope that maybe someday I could drink normally again. But that hope vanished as I approached my 30 AF days. Something changed in my thinking as the AL fog lifted once & for all. Suddenly I no longer wanted to exist in a fog, no longer wanted to numb my thoughts & feelings. I actually enjoyed discovering who I was as a non-drinking adult.

After finding MWO I made a good working plan for myself using the ideas in the Tool box. I used the Hypno CDs as directed (which really helped me change my thinking). I used my own supplements, cooked healthy meals, got a little exercise. Mostly, I made a commitment to myself to change my life. I was so tired of failed, half-hearted attempts - I wanted real change!

It did take a few weeks to develop my plan & work up the courage to jump in with both feet.
But I have never regretted my decision, not even for a second

[red67]

Question for anyone living AF

Well I had a drinking problem for ten years and i knew it after the first year. I didnt try to get any help until about 4 years ago and tried counseling and AA. Over the next few years I tried halfheartedly to quit but secretly all i wanted to do was figure out how to keep drinking but not with all the problems I had with it. Needless to say that was delusional thinking. Ii found this site when i was looking for non AA alternatives and found out about Naltrexone. I thought i found a magic pill that would fix everything. Just take a pill and boom i would be fixed. Well it didnt work for me but i kept trying and coming to this site and reading everyday for almost a year. I finally had a very humiliating experience while drinking in march 2011and i had enough. I finally realized that i could not drink anymore. I started Smart Recovery, tapered for a week, saw my doctor and got blood tests to see what kind a crap i had been doing to myself and gave the rest of my alcohol away at the end of that week. I somehow knew it was forever but i was also terrified. It was the only way i knew how to live. The first month was the hardest because i was so worried about how i could do this forever. This board, my hard work , Smart Recovery and my faith in God have saved me. I no longer live on fear of drinking, i know i do not need alcohol and my life is so much better without it.

[KateH1]

Question for anyone living AF

For many years I had known but was afraid to admit to myself how serious my drinking problem was. I gave cutting down and quitting a good half assed job many times, always ending up in the same place: tired, depressed, and just sick from alcohol.Finally, after a horrible weekend of drinking, I was looking into rehabs online and I found MWO. After a few days of reading threads, I posted and was quickly welcomed by Starlight Impress, she suggested that I visit the Chat Room and that evening I did. At that time the chatroom was frequented by many who were living successfully living sober. A truly great group of people that were warm and supportive but also straight up with No BS! For a couple of months, I continued to drink, tried to moderate my drinking but of course.....that hardly made a dent in my problem. So, I bought the MWO book and read it cover to cover, I outlined my plan and picked my quit date. I knew that I had to have a plan for the cravings that would hit. I chose the supplements and exercise, especially walking. I cleaned out the house with not a drop of alcohol left. After struggling through 29 days AF, I foolishly decided that I could have just one glass of wine. Of course, the one glass turned in to a bottle, plus....arghhh! I knew that I had to stop completely! I am grateful that when I talked to my friends here in chat they told me straight up that I "could not drink". I am so grateful that no one said "don't worry, we all slip". These people cared enough to tell it to me straight. Throughout the next year, I did some cognitive thinking therapy and I worked hard on myself. My attitude began to slowly change and I went from feeling badly that I could not drink, to feeling grateful that I had gotten honest with myself and that I was living my life Free of Alcohol! This is not to say that the thought of wanting a drink never crosses my mind. But, these days those thoughts are very rare, and I know what to do to get right back on track without taking a drink.

For me the real key to long term sobriety is really getting on with my life, not giving any time to nonsense. Steering clear of drama and not living in the past, and most of all, holding myself accountable for my own thoughts and feelings. I CHOOSE how I handle My Life today. No one else truly has the power to make me unhappy or angry unless I give them that power. Most of all I have completely accepted that alcohol holds nothing of value for me. Alcohol is not relaxing, nor romantic for me. For me, alcohol is liquid misery!

I love my life Living Free!!

[Cassia]

Question for anyone living AF

I can't do forever, it has to be for now to me. Right now, I have no desire to drink but I have to believe that I may be able to drink one day. It's all that keeps me sane. Granted, i don't honesty believe i ever will. But to say forever makes me think I am setting myself up to fail. I did have a go at quitting once before my final quit - lasted about six months and was ok for about 6 months and then it went downhill albeit pretty slowly. The final month before I quit for good was pretty nuts.

As for quitting, I just got fed up and I didn't want to end up like my dad. So I had one terrible night and said enough is enough and that was me. No plan except not to drink. Didn't want to go to AA because I really couldnt relate, tried therapy but she spent most of her time convincing me to go to AA. Found here and that was my biggest help. Also set myself towards finishing off my five year plan and setting new goals (in midst of setting new five year plan!). Got massively back into exercise which helps tremendously.

Ok - kinda rambling but that's what helped me! X

[Struggles 106]

Question for anyone living AF

Hey Kate

Liquid misery-I love that! You are SO right-all the brainwashing advertising etc making alcohol look glamorous. Perhaps that's why I watch Intervention

[DriftyAlison0]

Question for anyone living AF

I will answer your questions the best that I can.

1. My thoughts when I first saw that I had a problem was that I knew that I was starting to have a problem. I was switching from not drinking at all to very special occasions, to special occasions, to no occasions so I knew I was getting more addicted. I also thought that since I was so early in this, that it was going to be easy for me to just quit, but it proved to be harder then I thought. I tried quitting first in 2009 when I started to finally admit that I was starting to have an issue but I kept going back to drinking. It took me till May 2011 after many quits and a modding attempt to finally get it.

2. Before this quit, I was going to do 30 days and most people here will say have 30 af days before you consider modding, so I would focus on doing thirty days and then go from there. If your not modding then continue being af. This quit was actually going to be a 30 day af break from my modding, but while planning it, I opened my eyes and saw that I needed to quit and that I wasn't even modding anymore.

3. I am sure that this is going to be for forever, however I am not going to look at it as forever because that looks so huge, and it could make it look impossible.

4. I did mine with ODAAT and a plan. I stayed here everyday and posted most days (even when I didn't post, I did read posts) and I didn't go out and still don't go out if I feel that I would drink. Everyone has a different or similar plan and some plans work for some and others don't. So if one plan fails, then switch it up.

5. For me not looking at the long run is better. Its easier on my quit and on me if I consecrate on 30 days at a time. I have learned to never say never, but to consecrate on today and not 1 year or 40 years from now.

[Doggygirl]

Question for anyone living AF

I have gone through a lot of change since I first arrived at MWO in 2007. It took me a while to peel back the layers of my thoughts and feelings and spirit to get to the truth. I didn't know I was lying to myself and others at first. But that was the nature of my addiction. My thoughts when I first got here were a reflection of my addiction in many ways. Not the full truth.

Today I feel as though I am living a full and truthful sober life. There were twists and turns in the path. What I'm doing today to celebrate life and recovery including things I SWORE I would never do. Oh well. I'm sure there will be more unexpected things going forward. It's an adventure!

I've learned to never say never.

DG

[Pinecone]

Question for anyone living AF

Neat thread, Chillgirl!

I was pretty desperate when I found this site. I had known for years that I had a problem, but I allowed myself to believe that I was actually trying to do something about it. I had also wanted to quit for years, and I knew that when I did quit, I would have to quit completely and never look back. I was done believing that I would ever be able to drink normally.

A few days before I first posted here, I was drinking of course, and I had a very odd and strong experience. I experienced a moment of intense self reflection. I was almost able to step outside myself and see what I was doing. It was like the ground just disappeared underneath me. I got some paper and I wrote a letter to myself. I don't know why that happened, but it was my turning point. It felt like I had been handed a real chance to do something serious about it, and I didn't feel like I should blow this one. I didn't actually pick a date, or ask for this experience to happen, but when it did, I felt like I really had to act on it.

The forever aspect is like a huge weight off my shoulders.

I pretty much followed all the advice I got on here at first, because I was not messing around. I made a plan real quick.

I hope I answered all the questions!

[spuddleduck]

Question for anyone living AF

thanks so much for this thread. its great to read how you guys felt and how you got to where you are now. INSPIRING

[Nelz]

Question for anyone living AF

Chillgirl;1237244 wrote: Hi Guys

I would be grateful if you could share with me what your thoughts were when you 1st either discovered this site or decided to quit drinking.

I am very involved in internet message boards. Its a wonderful place to interact with like minded people. I knew I would want to find such a place to help in the recovery process

For me when I finally admitted I had an alcohol dependancy I decided pretty quickly that I would quit for good and actually planned my quit date 3 weeks before hand. This gave me time to think it all through, put a plan in place, say goodbye to AL and imagine my life without it.
I know for lots this method doesnt work and im interested to know what different people go through and what is the most successful method for long term abstainence?

When I finally made the choice to quit, it was originally forever. After a few months, I considered moderating. At this point, by the grace of God, it will be a lifetime choice

Did you just try to stop for a period of say 30 days and then it just carried on from there?

Are you still unsure if its forever?

Was it ODAT (one day at a time) with no actually plan?

It was indeed ODAT, I truly had no "plan" except to "plan" to not ever drink again. I had a pretty bad "bottom out" event. I have used the sheer terror of: I have lost everything: to my advantage. Telling myself....drinking will only lead me back to that same place someday....and probably soon

Does dealing with it short term work better for most because the bigger picture is too scary?

YESBreaking it down into manageable chunks is paramount in my opinion
For me the "forever" of quitting was actually a benefit rather than a hinderance.



How many had serious relaspes before finally saying enough?

This isnt my first rodeo trying to quit, but so far so good!

I look forward to hearing your views.....






Chill

Stay strong, keep it up

[Unwasted]

Question for anyone living AF

Chill, I'm new at this so I won't post much (although plenty of people relapse after long periods of time unfortunately).

I'm saying it's forever. That works better for me because somehow saying one day at a time makes me think in terms of there being a chance of drinking later, and I don't want that. I want a grown up alcohol-free life. I feel like I was brainwashed all those years and don't want poison in my body any more.

I tried two times to stop, and the third has been a charm - today is 50 days for me -- not a lot in the big picture, but it feels different. I'm very determined this time -- I don't think I was before.

[bleep]

Question for anyone living AF

The first few times I tried to stop, by whatever method, I saw it as a sacrifice. That I would have to give booze up because of x, y and z. This made it impossible for me to keep it up, because the shit memories fade quickly, and I would be left with fun-filled memories of parties that worked out. So very soon I'd feel hard done by, that everyone else was having all the fun, and even if I still wasn't drinking at this point, I'd be pissed off about it.

This time, it's not a sacrifice, it's a pleasure. I'm not giving anything up, I'm gaining everything. I've watched mates getting pissed, and wondered what the hell I must have been thinking. Granted, there are some social occasions I miss, but that's a very small price to pay.

That attitude makes counting the days a bit pointless, so I haven't bothered. It wasn't really a planned attack on sobriety, it was more just a gradual cessation of the desire to drink, which I'm grateful beyond belief for.

[Zeppie2]

Question for anyone living AF

I knew I had a serious drinking problem for a year before I gave up - (In reality the problem had been growing for the past 15 years). I had been sent home from work because I was drunk - when I woke up in the morning there was a cigarette burn hole in the bed and I had a wet towel slung over an oil column heater. I started googling alcoholism and voila, found MWO.

I decided I would go without alcohol for a year - 30 days may be a nice thought for us but in reality it took us years to get like this so how can 30 days fix us?
My liver was starting to ache and blood test confirmed my liver wasn't coping - I had a choice give up or die.

I had two relapses firstly after AF for 6 months I thought I could moderate, the next time after a year AF when I broke up with my boyfriend - I have now been AF for over 8 months and I am not looking back.

[Tipplerette]

Question for anyone living AF

Thanks for starting this thread, Chill Girl. People, please keep posting. We, who are not there yet, are benefiting from this thread in a big way.